Towers of Terror has many smart things to say about the War on Terror

I’m kidding, of course, Towers of Terror looks terrible and has only succeeded to get my attention because of the gimmick poster. But don’t fret, this movie involves the planes hitting the towers and the heroic firefighters who then have to fight the zombified terrorists because why the fuck not, right?

Two groups decide to race to the top of each of the World Trade Center buildings on September 11, 2001. The towers are hit by terrorist attacks, but the terrorists don’t die in the plane crash; they resurrect as zombies hell-bent on their mission to destroy America. As these undead jihadists continue on their path of destruction armed with box-cutters and nail-clippers, the Americans must learn to stand united in their patriotism or else face gruesome death in twin 110 story bloodbaths!

Cool, a film that will make Osombie seem dignified and nuanced. I’m sure the producers are proud of their film being so offensive that they get articles like this one complaining about the film. I thought about not bothering to get them press, but, it’s not like this site is a major player or anything! And often, it’s more fun to make fun of dumb stuff like this, because it’s not going to go anywhere, it’s going to be stupid and fall into obscurity. Not because it’s “offensive”, but because the quality looks terrible. Just look at this trailer:

I couldn’t watch the full movie if I tried, and I’ve seen Foodfight. America will be united, in not bothering to watch this movie. So enjoy going nowhere fast, Towers of Terror, your flight is arriving!