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InBattle Beasts

New Battle Beasts review

May 19, 2010By

So I snagged on of the new Minimates Battle Beasts. This is similar to the single announce Gator beast, except they have been making alternate colors to give away at various toy shows and cons this year. The first was a month or so ago and I couldn’t find it for anywhere near reasonable on eBay, but there was a second alternate color gator released this past month at some place called E2X2 or C2E2 or R2D2 or something. In any event, I snagged on off of eBay for a mere $25 including shipping, so that was a good score. It is the first chance for me to get a handle on the new Battle Beast, so here are some pics:

The alternate color Gator came complete with a crappy gun. His color scheme is the best one so far, so props for the color scheme!
bb01.jpg

My Beast came with a special bonus: a hair from a paintbrush!
bb02.jpg

The gator can barely hold the crappy gun, and when he does it is crooked. Boo to that! The previous premium gator had a sword.
bb03.jpg

Size-wise, you can see how the new Beasts are slightly taller than the old ones (please forgive the fact the Battle Beast shown is a bootleg, that was the only other one I had bought recently)
bb04.jpg

And more size comparisons with some Gormiti figures.
bb05.jpg

Overall, I am less than impressed by the hair and the crappy gun, but the color scheme of this one was the best so far. I am still not excited about the new line, and will continue to look at it with trepidation. There is one more alternate color of the gator going to get released, but besides that, there are currently no announced plans for the line.

InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Sukeban Fighter Misaki (Review)

May 18, 2010By

Sukeban Fighter Misaki


2006
Directed by Masayoshi Shiki
Sukeban Fighter Misaki

So this entry will require a bit of background, because Japan is weird. As you are probably aware of as you are an avid reader of TarsTarkas.NET and similar site that regularly go over the massive volume of cinema to be released from Japan. The vast majority of these films are low-budget direct to video affairs produced for a very limited audience. Thus, the videos usually cost close to $50 when first dropped, though they’ll soon end up as bargain basement packages as the parade of young actresses featured in the films rotates onwards. Many of the films are targeted at those who love low-budget action/crime/blood/gore films, and some of the select audiences are those who subscribe to specific fetishes. These range from harmless affairs like costumed chicks or fighting chicks, to more screwed up stuff that requires liberal use of the censor mosaic. As we like to pretend that we have a PG-13 rating here on TarsTarkas.NET, Sukeban Fighter Misaki falls strictly into the Fighting Schoolgirl genre. These affairs are basically involving tough schoolgirl fighters, secret agency people, evil masterminds, at least one evil schoolgirl, and a bunch of dudes in masks who will harass and capture the schoolgirl fighters.
Sukeban Fighter Misaki

Sukeban Fighter Misaki looks like it is one of a set of four films that were all made at the same time. Without having seen the other three, I am not sure what order they are intended to be watched in. The other three films are Sukeban Fighter Ayaka, Sukeban Fighter 2nd Intrigue, and Sukeban Fighter 2nd Struggle. I think it is produced by Zen Pictures, which is a production company that specializes in costume fighting women films. Their company website has literally hundreds of Power Rangers-ish films. They also have a sister company that does lots of horror stuff called Babel (the films are oddly called “New challenge movies”) You can also get a job doing voiceover work in the films for English dubs.

Sukeban Fighter Misaki

Misaki (Megumi Yamanaka) – Megumi Yamanaka was a gravure model that seemed to be in a lot of stuff circa 2006. Looks like she’s also in 2004’s New Zero Woman.
Ayaka (Kazuma Kawabata) – The student council president who works with some teachers to try to control the gang problem. The solution is to get Misaki to beat up all the gang. There is no info about Kazuma Kawabata anywhere and she seems to dropped off the face of the internet after these films.
Evil Girl (Eriko Matsumura) – Evil Girl is evil, hence her name. Also I didn’t catch her name, hence her name. She works for the evil boss and is evil. That’s all you need to know. Eriko Matsumura also dropped off the face of the internet after these films. I imagine she and Kazuma Kawabata are living in a shack somewhere in the desert, lifelong lovers, raising camels. Because…why not?

Sukeban Fighter Misaki

InCulture Wars, Politicians and Pundits, Privatization, Site News, Wingnut Web

Politisink.com is the place to be…

May 17, 2010By

What started as a single random article making fun of some idiots on Resistnet has spawned into a multi-author collaboratorial event that basically took over the blog section of TarsTarkas.NET. Thus, TarsTarkas.NET Blog became the hot new place to talk about politics and what dumb things teabaggers were doing this week. We’ve been featured on CrooksandLiars.com, Huffingtonpost.com, and even helped bring down a crazy Freeper’s Congressional dreams. TarsTarkas.NET shatters dreams for breakfast. We’ve also gotten a crazy legal threat, proving we’ve made it!

As our ultimate goal is self-improvement, it has been decided that the best way for the political articles to prosper is for them to be housed on a blog focused entirely on the political stuff. Thus, Politisink was born! The domain was an older, failed attempt to do a politics blog back in 2006 that I abandoned when I went to grad school. I am sure maybe two people in the world know that, and one of them is married to me. Now, Politisink is repurposed as the new site that will keep an eye on crazy mofos and the crazy stuff they want to do to our country. The Wingnut Web and other political articles will now be posted there (though what has appeared here will remain as I am far too lazy to move everything over) while the TarsTarkas.NET Blog will go back to posting cult movie news, Karen Mok photos, Battle Beast things, and other weird stuff that I see fit (until some other random article balloons up into a cultural phenomenon and takes over the blog again!) Don’t worry, there will be plenty of cross-promotion so those who don’t start checking Politisink out right away can catch up, and for those of you who will skip right by this article because it doesn’t have a picture of a hot chick or posts from morons on message boards in it. Actually, let’s just throw in crazy picture for old times sake!

Frog King not care for your freedoms, only tasty flies!

That’s better! Now, the writers here will be joining us at Politisink, both dm and skiplogic are already contributing away. Soon I’ll try to add on a few more, because, why not? That’s how you become an internet powerhouse and

So in conclusion, check out Politisink.com, where politics circles the drain!

EDIT: Okay, I rewrote part of this because it sucked!

Godzilla Marvel 5
InCulture Wars, Site News, Wingnut Web

TarsTarkas.NET and the Lawsuit of Doom!

May 15, 2010By

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don’t know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dog, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out
Finally got an email–

Wait, an email??? Uh-oh!

TarsTarkas.NET: Slander in your blog

This is an enquiry e-mail via http://tarstarkas.net from:
Michael Beckham

http://www.tarstarkas.net/2010/01/21/wingnut-web-dipping-into-the-militia-mail-bag/

I’m going to give you guys 1 week to dissolve this thread which specifically targets me, and slanders me as well. I have made screen shots of this blog to present to my attorney. This will be interesting to say the least. Please remove the thread, or I will file suit against you guys for posting FALSE accusations against me. I will also contact the attorney general in regards to this being on the internet. Bringing it across state lines via the internet makes this a federal issue. I’m asking nicely. Thank you

No, not slander!

Okay, fine, I’ll check it out. A quick look at the post in question shows that it is impossible for anyone to not realize statements made were jokes about Michael Beckham. Considering Michael Beckham was the one who went public and posted tons of information linking his name to child molestation charges, even if they aren’t true, then Michael Beckham shouldn’t be upset when people start Googling “Michael Beckham” and “child molester”. If I started to claim that I was made of maple syrup, people are going to google “Tars Tarkas maple syrup” and joke about it, and then I can’t sue them for “slander” because they’re believing it.

But maybe Beckham has a problem with some of the comments, in which case he should get a life. Several of them point out what kind of character Beckham is, others are posts of emails from the militia dudes Beckham is feuding with that seem to collaborate parts of what the others are saying. The rest is just the comments of the popcorn eaters enjoying the show.

Now, Micheal Beckham is a member of the Well Regulated Militias board (aka the WRAM guys) who were briefly our targets as they were involved in a bunch of infighting and filling up our inboxes with various conspiracy theories about how the government was infiltrating them and their infighting that caused the group to splinter into pieces. That’s what I get for joining random Ning sites advertised on Resistnet.com. Eventually, we got bored as more hilarious targets presented themselves, and left the WRAM guys to go play armyman in the woods with their toy guns.

Our mistake. We should have never stopped reporting on the goings on of the WRAM guys, because they are still hilarious! So expect more WRAM stuff soon.

So I guess TarsTarkas.NET will now be shut down by US Attorney General Eric Holder, and we’re all gonna get sued for slander. Which is awesome because even if we made actual charges designed to hurt Micheal Beckham’s reputation and not sarcastic jokes in response to his own broadcasting of his junior high school drama, it would be libel. Luckily, EFF.org has got our back, and as we are all brainwashed Obots Eric Holder is well aware of us and we are on his payroll. But now TarsTarkas.net has finally arrived and gotten a lawsuit threat, just as we’re about to announce the politics-only spinoff site Monday.

I have received no reply from Mr. Beckham when I told him no, but any updates will be reported. Until then, remember the knights templar. If anyone wants Eric Holder’s autograph when he comes to arrest me, let me know in the comments!

Dr Teeth

InMovie News

Why is Rollercoaster Tycoon becoming a movie?

May 14, 2010By

Because people love tycoons! Or not. Maybe we can get a new remix of Love Rollercoaster! Directed by the Karate Kid remake’s Harald Zwart and written by David Ronn and Jay Scherick. I say, bleh! The only thing interesting about Rollercoaster Tycoon was drowning people, but I doubt that will make it into a movie. Isn’t there a Sims movie in the works? Where the heck is that at? I demand the Sims and Rollercoaster Tycoon open on the same weekend!

Just wait until the Farmville movie!

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