Glenn Beck Raped And Murdered A Young Girl In 1990
But what’s even better about the website GlennBeckRapedandMurderedAYoungGirlin1990.com is that it serves up ice cold political parody at its finest. Originally started in a thread on FARK, the rumor has turned into its own meme, spawning image macros, YouTube videos, Yahoo Answers threads, and a whole gaggle of angry FOX lawyers and one red-faced Glenn Beck (who rape and murdered a young girl in 1990). Why accuse Glenn Beck of such a dastardly deed? Well, if you follow Beck’s show at all, you’d understand that the accusation that Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990 is no less of a falsehood than many of the other rumors and accusations Beck propagates on his own television and radio shows (Obama’s birth certificate, the constructions of FEMA death camps, our country’s fall into Socialism and somehow simultaneously into Fascism, Obama being a racist, Healthcare killing your grandmother, I could go on and on…). Any Beck fan would know that just because there is a mountain of evidence, documents, witnesses, and logic that disproves any of these claims doesn’t exactly mean that the contrary is the truth at all!
If we want to be “journalists” about this like Glenn Beck is we’d first have to ignore all the rational evidence.
Ok. Done.
Now we have to look at the claim itself and take every word apart to analyze the statement. “Glenn” “Beck” “Raped” “And” “Killed” “A” “Young” “Girl” “In” “1990”. Good, now that we have the item in an easy to understand form (this is the only kind of information Glenn Beck can process) we need to repeat it really loudly to our audience so they know that our position is that “Glenn Beck Raped And Killed A Young Girl In 1990”. Next, we again ignore the evidence the mainstream media is paying attention to and instead look at the results of a very scientific poll we conducted 20 minutes ago:
84% of the nation can't be wrong!
According to the scientific poll 84% of respondents, over half (which is of course the only real indicator of whether or not people believe something), voted “yes” to the question “Do you believe that Glen[n] Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990”. Now that we have our first piece of damning evidence (yes, this is in fact evidence that will hold up in court if your Glenn Beck), we need a secondary source or document that will confirm our polling data and suspicions about how Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. Liberals, with their devious media connections, have made it exceedingly difficult for us truth-seekers to get the real dirt that’s out there, so with this in mind instead of getting some factual evidence we will instead forge a document to prove our point right:
Proof that Glenn Beck Rape and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990
As anyone can clearly tell from this document, Glenn Beck, according to a police report, raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. Equally as heinous, Beck also, according to the police report above, stole a Sanyo cellphone and $2,000 in cash. Clearly the evidence is here to condemn Glenn Beck for raping and murdering a young girl in 1990, so I’m glad someone put together the website GlennBeckRapedandMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com to hold him accountable for such crimes. Again, however, we hold the evidence (which is obviously not a forged document based off documents from the Duke Lacrosse rape case in 2006) that proves to the audience that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 and therefore means it is the God honest truth, so why doesn’t Beck come forward to defend himself from these accusations?
It’s cause he is guilty. This has been an episode of Glenn Beck Rapes and Murdered a Young Girl in 1990, thanks so much for watching!
UPDATE:
Glenn Beck still has not come forward to admit his guilt in the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990, but otherwise there is some cheery fallout from the whole affair. Suggestions for Google searches on Glenn Beck now come in with “did Glenn Beck rape” and “did Glenn Beck murder” as the top two queries, among other hilarious phrases, not to mention that most blogs and newspapers have been on fire “reporting” this story as if it was an actual piece of news that had any kind of truth or relevancy to it. But maybe that was the point. A whole lively forum discussion on the ever growing mountain of evidence proving Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 can be found here. Oh, and if you need ANY MORE evidence (that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990), a lawsuit is being brought up by Beck’s minion of lawyers that accuse the url to the website GlennBeckRapedandMurderedAYoungGirlIn1990.com is defamatory and should be taken down. The lawsuit doesn’t refute any of the content on the website, however, only the title of the domain name, so ipso facto Glenn Beck is admitting his guilt with this lawsuit that only condemns the suggestion of Beck’s crime but none of the evidence that he, Glenn Beck, raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.
21 Comments
Tars Tarkas
September 11, 2009 at 11:36 pmIf only a lawyer named Dr. LOLcat Rodriquez Esq. was brave enough to take on this case…
hitler
September 12, 2009 at 7:20 am“Socialism and somehow simultaneously into Fascism”
Because they are completely opposite things, right?
Vote national socialist party 2012!
Chris_Wilson
September 12, 2009 at 10:40 pmThese disturbing and very serious charges need to be addressed. The question of whether or not Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 has been circulating for almost two weeks now, and the only response from Beck has been to have his lawyers try to silence those who are asking the question. His actions are not those of an innocent man. Who will be the next victim to get glennbecked? Will it be your mother? your sister? your daughter? your girlfriend? your wife? Is Glenn Beck’s 9/12 project involved in the rape and murder of young girls aged 9-12? The people deserve answers.
lily
November 28, 2009 at 2:13 pmThis is stupid. How do we know this Glenn Beck is the same one on Fox News? There are 3 Glenn Becks in GA
GLENN BECK Born Feb 1970
150 10TH ST NE Neighborhood & Property Report Record Created: Unknown
ATLANTA, GA 30309 (404) 815-6662
GLENN BECK Get the Dirt Check for Email Address Google
2820 PEACHTREE RD NW Neighborhood & Property Report Record Created: 02/2003
ATLANTA, GA 30305 (404) 816-4478
GLENN D BECK Get the Dirt Check for Email Address
1343 POPLAR POINTE SE Neighborhood & Property Report Record Created: 04/2001
SMYRNA, GA 30082 ]
There are also 8 listings for a Glenn Beck in CT and and 1 in NH, both of which have cities named Durham.
I think this is a smear campaign against someone who is haveing a lot of success that is angering a lot of people who don’t want expose what Glenn is exposing
Mike
December 8, 2009 at 7:33 pmNo shit Lily, you dont say this might be a joke???
Putz…True? no… Funny? you bet ur ass
Mike
December 9, 2009 at 9:02 amI think it’s just disgusting that Glenn Beck can stay on the air after raping and murdering a girl in 1990! He is a role model for our kids. Are we telling our kids that it’s ok to rape and murder girls? 2010 is coming up! Will he strike again?!
Let’s convict him. The rock solid evidence is all there! I’ll be taking donations to help prosecute Glenn Beck for raping and murdering a girl in 1990!
Tars Tarkas
December 9, 2009 at 10:51 amIf he’s not guilty, why doesn’t he say so? You can draw your own conclusions (on a giant blackboard…)
Amelia Marie
December 10, 2009 at 10:45 amI dont believe this at all about Glenn Beck! He’s an amazing person and a role model for all and I think people are out to smear him because he speaks the truth!!
ANA
February 23, 2010 at 3:43 pmmaybe true he has a narcissistic personality, all the insane things he says it is clear to me something is wrong with this man, i will alll come out!
Billy Bob
March 6, 2010 at 2:32 pmThis is not true. Glen Beck did not rape and murder a girl. He only raped her.
egostorm12
March 12, 2010 at 2:44 amThis case obviously is the wrong glenn beck, or it is made up. You lefties out there make the majority of people want to puke. Go live in Russia or china for one year become a citizen there and then write from your grave whether or not you believe in communist/socialist/one world order bullshit Leave our free country and leave our constitution and get lost in poverty you miserable numbskulls. Where is your brains? Did you loose them in kindergarten There is no reply that could come out of your mouth that i would believe or take serious you stupid fools. Oh But you must remember not to eat double fried cherry pies or salt in New York and eat only 500 calories a day. Starve your brains some more you insensitive clods
joe dirt
March 12, 2010 at 5:49 pmGod, you are such a total douche! Liberal idiots!!! There are thousands of “Glen Becks” in the US…..typical liberal fool….
Cris
March 15, 2010 at 5:56 pmDo you really think this ridiculous website gives strength to you socialist, Marxist cause. You should be ashamed of yourselves. How pathetic you are. Only desperate people resort to such desperate measures. You are showing your true colors. “The end justifies the means” isn’t that your motto? Because what he says about you and people like is true you hide behind outrageous accusation. May GOD help you.
Geoff
March 19, 2010 at 2:53 pmThe lack of brain activity in a good percentage of these comments is staggering. In fact, the outraged right-ies have so exquisitely beautifully proved the point of the website.
patriot
March 26, 2010 at 9:01 pmHe is worth over 150 million – what a loser!
Miss Deb
May 11, 2010 at 5:14 pmEveryone, this is a hoax and fable…google the line about Glen Beck and you will not find it…I have gone into several news sites and found nothing…ignore the idiots who created this blog…they are idiot lefties trying not only to smear someone but to get the ire of honest Americans who really care about this country and men like Glen who are exposing this administration for the scam they are!!
robert
May 17, 2010 at 10:58 pmI hope people wake up one day before its too late and restore the rights and liberties that have been taken away. The very rights that allow you to post a ridiculous site like this.People like Glenn will have a special place in the future when his warnings ring true.Read study and don’t get your news from comedy central!!!!!!
Tars Tarkas
May 18, 2010 at 7:36 amWait…if our rights were taken away….then I wouldn’t be able to have the ridiculous site like this! It’s almost as if you’re a moron….Hey! You ARE a moron! Glenn will have a special place in the future, it will be a padded room.
Bingle Bongle
August 29, 2010 at 2:50 pmLMAO at all the Glenn Beck white knights(btw pun intended). It’s no wonder they can’t tell this is a parody, they’re gullible enough to believe every word Beck says.
Fances Temple
February 3, 2011 at 7:47 amSince when does an American citizen have to prove they DIDN’T Commit a Crime…The Burden of Proof lies with the accuser, you bunch of fascist morons. If ANY of you claims to actually love America, I suggest you Listen to what Glen Beck has to Say…You might just learn something; Every day you should get down on your knees and thank God that you are an American. If you don’t love America, you should seek your Utopia in your favorite fascist, communist, radical, brutal muslim nation and try that on for size. May God continue to bless America and May each and every one of you reap your just rewards in this life and in the hereafter.
Bs
July 8, 2011 at 11:40 amLol ok. If Beck can say that Obama isn’t American, the first Amendment gives us lefties the right to claim that Glenn Beck has raped and killed a girl in 1990. Obama has come out with his birth cirtificate, where is Becks proof he didn’t do this? Also, seriously, if you take this website that serious as a right winger, then I’m embarrassed to say I share a country with God praising, Allah refusing (even though their the same person sorry for that) idiots with no sense of humor lol.