Chocolate (Review)

Chocolate


2008
Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

Thailand has been making films for a long time. Sadly, their films have not gained much interest outside their home country until recently, which is a shame as some of their older efforts (like Insee Thong for example) are worth checking out. Tony Jaa has helped put modern Thai films on the map. His martial arts films and the stunt therein have given lots of fame to the industry. Many people are unaware of the man behind Tony Jaa, who is also the man behind this film. Director Prachya Pinkaew was Tony Jaa’s mentor, directing him in Ong Bak, and now has a new, female prodigy, the star of this film Yanin “Jeeja” Wismistananda. Director Prachya Pinkaew has been involved in making movies in Thailand for years, but until his recent fame with Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong, most of them haven’t left Thailand ever, now many can be found in VCD format. In addition, some of them can be found in this movie, being watched by Zen in between her own fights.

Setting out to make the film feel different from the start, Zen is autistic, so does not act like your normal fighting chick. But she has the ability to learn to copy movements, which makes her a natural fighter. The storyline of the film works to get Zen from one giant set-piece to another in order to have many well-choreographed battles. This works rather well, and towards the end you just sit back and watch as the stunts get wilder and the choreography gets more intricate. The fight choreographer was Panna Rittikrai, also of Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong fame. Prachya Pinkaew said he went in the autistic direction because Jeeja Wismistananda didn’t have any sex appeal (see Wise Kwai’s Blog.) She has no sex appeal like zebras have no stripes.

Chocolate is in a mix of English and Japanese, but is mainly Thai, so subtitles are on. As the film is not widely available in the US yet, there are bootlegs with terrible subs out there, so be warned. They are not necessary to enjoy the action, but help you follow a bit of the plot. Luckily, I had a real version, so the language barrier was no problem, not that no subtitles has ever been a problem here on TarsTarkas.NET.

Zen (Yanin “Jeeja” Vismistananda)- Autistic daughter, has muscle memory (once she sees it, she can do it, like that girl on Heroes) can catch almost anything, afraid of flies. Loves her mother very much. Jeeja did all the stunts herself, and was even kicked in the eye (requiring her to wear an eyepatch for a bit!)
Zin (Ammara “Zom” Siripong) – Zen’s Mother and lover of Masashi, former lover of No. 8. A famous actress and singer in her home country, Ammara Siripong was a torch carrier when the Olympic flame went through Thailand in 2008, and is an avid supporter of marine-life conservation.
Moom (Taphon Phopwandee) – Zen’s brother, a former street orphan adopted by Zin. Full name is Mangmoom. Does street performances with Zen in order to earn extra money for Zin’s illness. Finds the book filled with names that owe Zin money.
Masashi (Hiroshi Abe) – Zen’s gangster absentee father. Not absentee by choice. Forced out of Thailand by No. 8 after he took Zin as his lover, and forbidden to see her or his daughter under threat of death. Returns to Thailand when Zin and Zen get into trouble. Has a fascination with imperfection.
No. 8 (Pongpat Wachirabunjong) – Thai mob boss (is the Thai mob known by an special name like Yakuza or Triads?) and former lover of Zin. Number 8 lost his beloved to Masashi, so shot off his own toe to teach himself a lesson. That lesson was “Don’t shoot yourself in the foot!” Dresses pretty retro. Eight is a lucky number in Asian culture, just look at how many Chinese restaurants have 8 in their name (or 18 or 88).
Priscilla (Dechawut Chuntakaro) – Transvestite apprentice to No. 8. Brutal enforcer and jealous of Zin and No. 8’s affection for Zin. But still sympathetic enough to give some money to Moom and Zen when they are street performing. Dechawut “Day” Chuntakaro is a cabaret diva.

The Women Kicking Butt Project

A celebration of women excelling at the sport of kicking lots of butt. This project is ongoing, open scope, and has no set completion time. Previous films reviewed before the project start have been grandfathered in. Enjoy a collection of films showing off women throwing men through the glass ceiling, glass doors, and then shooting them in the balls. This is real girl power!

Current list:

Alley Cat

Angel Enforcers aka Wong ga fei fung

Angel’s Mission aka Xian fa zhi ren

Asian Charlie’s Angels

Assault Girls aka Asaruto garuzu

Black Rose aka Hei mei gui

Bloodrayne

Catch the Heat

Catwoman

Chocolate

Challenge of the Lady Ninja aka Nu ren zhe aka Never Kiss a Ninja

Clan of the Amazons aka Xiu hua da dao

Come Drink With Me aka Da zui xia

Cool Dimension aka Kûru dimenshon

Coweb

Cutie Honey aka Kyuutii Hanii

Dangerous Flowers aka Chai lai

Deadly Target aka Hong tian mi ling

DOA: Dead or Alive
The Evil Karate aka 鬼門太極
Female Convict Scorpion — Jailhouse 41 aka Joshuu Sasori — Dai 41 Zakkyobo
Female Prisoner #701 Scorpion aka Joshuu 701go: Sasori
Flying Swordsgirl aka The Flying Killer aka Nu fei xia aka 女飛俠
Geisha vs Ninjas aka Geisha Assassin

Godfather’s Daughter
Gold Button aka 金鈕扣
Golden Skeleton aka Jin ku lou aka 金骷髏
High-Kick Girl! aka Hai kikku garu!

High School Ghosthustlers

Insectocidal
Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan aka Ai Nu

Island Warriors aka Yang yang jun
Jakkalan aka This Girl Is Bad-Ass aka จั๊กกะแหล๋น
Lady Black Cat aka Haak Ye Maau

Lady Iron Monkey aka The Ape Girl aka Zui Hou Nu

Lethal Angels aka Mor gwai tin si

The Machine Girl aka Kataude Mashin Gâru

Midnight Angel aka Ng ye tin si

My Girlfriend is an Agent aka 7-geup gongmuwon

My Kung Fu Sweetheart aka Ye maan bei kup

Naked Weapon aka Chek law dak gung

Ninja Cheerleaders

Raging Phoenix aka Jija Deu Suay Du

Revenge of Lady Fighter aka Buhawi
Revenge of the Zebra Miniskirt Police aka Zebura Minisuka Porisu no Gyakushuu aka ゼブラミニスカポリスの逆襲
Secret Undercover Agent: Honey & Bunny aka Himitsu Sennyuu Sousakan: Honey & Bunny

Secret Undercover Agent: Wild Cats in Strip Royale aka Himitsu Sennyu Sosakan – Wild Cats in Strip Royale
Sector 7 aka 7 gwanggu aka 7광구
She is on Duty aka Jambok-geunmu

Sister Street Fighter aka Onna hissatsu ken

Spy With My Face aka Hei mei gui yu hei mei gui

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Sukeban Fighter Misaki

TNT Jackson
Tomb Raiders aka Ba hai hong ying

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl aka Kyuketsu Shojo tai Shojo Furanken

The Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy aka Las Luchadoras contra la momia
Yo-Yo Girl Cop aka Sukeban Deka: Kôdo nêmu = Asamiya Saki

The Machine Girl (Review)

The Machine Girl

aka Kataude Mashin Gâru

2008
Directed by Noboru Iguchi

One day people will be able to detect awesomeness with a Geiger counter type device. When this Awesomeness Detector is used to measure DVDs of The Machine Girl, it will overload by so much, the explosion will destroy half the universe. This film simply rocks. It is beyond cool. We have a girl with a machine gun for an arm, evil ninja yakuza, and more blood than a Red Cross warehouse. There will be blood. Lots and lots of blood. Blood that sprays forth at like a firehose. Let’s just say that if any woman in this universe ever had her period, the force of the blood exiting her body would cause her to launch up into the air like a rocket and she’d crash into the moon. There’s that much blood.

Much of this film is beyond description, only pictures and video will be satisfactory. It’s an explosion of visual images and over the top-ness that will make your jaw drop and your pants moist. A low-budget original film from Fever Dreams/Media Blasters, hopefully the first of many awesome productions. It was actually released in the US before Japan, which is a first I can get behind. The DVD has both subtitles and an English dub, so of course we will jump right to Japanese with subtitles. Because we are out and proud geeks.

Ami Hyuga (Minase Yashiro) – A normal basketball-playing girl becomes the instrument of vengeance known as The Machine Girl after her brother Yu is murdered by the son of Yakuza. After losing her arm, she is aided by fellow victims and given a machine gun as replacement, which allows her to blast her way to total vengeance. Ami’s parents killed themselves when they were framed for murder.
Miki (Asami Sugiura as Asami) – Miki was in a biker gang with her hubby. Her son Takeshi was killed by Sho, and afterwards helps Ami on her quest of vengeance. Married to Suguru. Asami is an AV actress, for those of you who don’t speak Japanophile, that means she’s a porn star (Mosaic only.)
Yu Hyuga (Ryôsuke Kawamura) – Ami’s little brother, who is killed by Sho Kisuma, son of a Yakuza boss. Appears as a ghost helping Ami and applauding her efforts. Thankfully, not as a scary long-haired ghost like most Asian horror films.
Sho Kimura (Nobuhiro Nishihara) – Killed Yu and Takeshi for kicks. Snotty and sarcastic. Has a flair for wearing outfits that make him look like a gay pimp. He and his mom are almost like they share brains…
Ryuji Kimura (Kentaro Shimazu) – Dad Kimura is head of a ninja clan that is the Hatori Hanzo clan, which now is yakuza. Crazy. Wears his hair in demon horn style. Uses the flying guillotine, mouth masks, swords, and intense praying powers.
Violet Kimura (Honoka) – Mom Kimura is formerly of the Kanto Beasts, this woman beats her husband for being soft, kills maids as punishment, makes a chef eat “finger food”, and wears metal undergarments. Just your average Japanese woman!
Suguru (Yûya Ishikawa) – Takeshi’s dad, Miki’s husband, mechanic, and builder of machine gun arms. The son of a surgeon, and a former biker gang member (where he met his wife.) He doesn’t seem to have the temperament of a biker gang member, unless they are much calmer in Japan, which I doubt based on their many other depictions in movies. He’s a nice guy, so of course he gets killed violently.
Abraham Lincoln (???) – Abraham Lincoln is alive and well, living as a Yakuza bodyguard in Japan. Until he’s killed in the movie, so I guess he is dead. Damn you, Japanese John Wilkes Booth!!!