The Heat
The Heat
2013
Written by Katie Dippold
Directed by Paul Feig
Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy give us a fucking hilarious action comedy with The Heat. The swear word is used in spirit with the film, which throws F-bombs like an NFL quarterback. Before we continue, be advised I saw this at a free public screening, so once again Tars has sold out.
The Heat is not afraid to be rough around the edges and show violence as it is, violent. Characters are killed with large bullet holes and blood splatters, while a villain who dismembers his victims is the target of Ashburn’s investigation in Boston. The Heat takes advantage of the R-rating to not sugar coat the consequences. Paul Feig gives a worthy Bridesmaids followup that is still female focused, which is great because that film inspired a whole host of woman-centered comedies that have shined more than not.
The two female lead roles are unique in that the reasons no one likes their characters has nothing to do with the fact that they are women and everything to do with them being terrible people to work with. This doesn’t mean they are bad at their jobs, they are among the best. But they work best alone because they are on such a different page than their coworkers. Rowdy Detective Shannon Mullins (Melissa McCarthy) berates and yells at her boss (played by a hilarious Tom Wilson from Back to the Future) so much he’s rapidly aging. Straitlaced Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) spends most of her field ops criticizing her fellow agents and upstaging everyone with finding hidden evidence, including the dogs.
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The Last Stand
The Last Stand
2013
Written by Andrew Knauer, Jeffrey Nachmanoff, and George Nolfi
Directed by Kim Ji-woon
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My hand is huge!
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We got both a return of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Hollywood debut of Kim Ji-woon with the modern day western The Last Stand. But is the title prophetic and a sign that we should stay away? If you are looking for amazing action and a return to form for an actor turned politician, then you might want to keep waiting. But if you want a good forgettable action flick with some funny parts, then The Last Stand is a passable January release. It isn’t terrible, it’s just we’ve seen much better from both the star and the director, so things come out disappointing. And that’s the worst sting of all.
Kim Ji-woon is no stranger to Westerns, he directed The Good, the Bad, and the Weird, one of the best Western-inspired films ever. He’s also responsible for I Saw The Devil, one of those films that people watch and then describe with a single emoticon of a traumatized face staring into the distance. Kim Ji-woon is the first of three popular Korean directors who are making their Hollywood debut in 2013 (Bong Joon-ho with Snowpiercer and Park Chan-wook with Stoker are the other two.) He’s also the only reason I had any interest in taking the time to see The Last Stand.
I am sorry to say that things are up to Kim Ji-woon’s normal standards of excellence. But The Last Stand isn’t a wash, either. It follows the normal arc progression of a Western with the eventual showdown against the gang by the Sheriff and his deputies. There is a lot of scattered action sequences throughout the buildup, as the cartel leader escapes from captivity then carves his way through increasingly incompetent police roadblocks via increasingly ridiculous ambush attacks.
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Minimalist action theater
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In the usual Western, the baddies are constantly harassing the town, the people the Sheriff likes and loves, and the danger is more personal. As Gabriel Cortez is more of a guy who is just passing through town, The Last Stand attempts to counter this by having some of his gang in town building an escape bridge. The gang causes trouble and is involved in a firefight with the Sheriff’s office. Though the gang’s leader is played by awesome dude Peter Stormare, the rest are all faceless militia types and there isn’t enough there to make them feel so evil you cheer when the hero kills them.
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Police Academy: Honey Boo-Boo
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Argo
Argo
2012
Written by Chris Terrio (screenplay) and Joshuah Bearman (article)
Directed by Ben Affleck
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Worst. Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Ever.
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The story of how the CIA created a fake science fiction movie as a cover in order to rescue Iranian hostages is a story that has become legend in the world of internet movie discussions. Over the years, the story became repeated and linked to again and again, building as articles and books sprang up to be linked to, blowing the minds of movie fans new to the tale each time it appeared. It’s one of those true life things that is impossible to make up, as it sounds too far fetched to be real. But it is real, and it’s so real it has passed on to legend. Like all good legends, someone made a movie about it!
Argo is both the name of the fake CIA movie and the name of this film. History comes alive as we enter the world of 1979-1980. From the old school three bar Warners production logo to the final scene of thousands of dollars of vintage toys, we are in the past. There is a very quick comic book history lesson of Iran’s history up to 1979, followed by vintage news reports of US/Iranian tensions that will be sprinkled throughout the film to show the building tension between both sides. It is interesting how the US/Iranian tensions are still relevant now over 30 years later, the same basic issues and anger are present.
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Too busy being awesome to listen to the haters
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Cast members become unrecognizable beneath their period haircuts and clothing, make up applied to best ape their real world counterparts. The fashions, the cars, Tom Brokaw with black hair, typewriters, everyone smoking everywhere, the Hollywood sign in ruins, it’s all there. Events I only have the faintest recall of due to my other priorities of being in the terrible twos.
But the film is more than a picture of the past. The cast is solid. Affleck put together a powerhouse ensemble of great actors. They blend into the roles.
We open just as the Shah has been overthrown, people are rioting in the streets as revolution runs rampant. The US embassy is besieged both inside from people wanting visas out, to the mob outside yelling at the gates. But they come over the top, storming the compound and capturing everyone. Six US employees manage to escape and hide out, eventually settling at the home of the Canadian ambassador. The Iranians don’t know anyone is missing, yet. But there is no easy way to get them out. So it’s time to come up with some plans.
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This is how Hollywood really works.
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Categories: Good, Movies Tags: Alan Arkin, Ben Affleck, Bryan Cranston, Clea DuVall, Jimmy Carter, John Goodman, Kyle Chandler, Tars sells out!, Tate Donovan, Victor Garber
Pitch Perfect
Pitch Perfect
2012
Written by Kay Cannon
Based on the novel by Mickey Rapkin
Directed by Jason Moore
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This is the fourth time we’ve watched Prometheus and it makes less sense each time!
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Who knew that a movie about girls singing a cappella would have the most projectile vomiting you will see in a film since Stand By Me? But it does, and beyond that Pitch Perfect is pretty damn hilarious and will be right up there with cult classics for clubs like the Bring It On features or High School Musicals or Drumline. Does following an all too familiar plot cycle make Pitch Perfect a bad film? Aca-scuse me? Of course not! Take a look out the window on this bus journey, we’ll traveling through uncharted and funny territory, singing all the while.
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The danger they don’t tell you about at Del Taco!
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Pitch Perfect is based on the nonfiction book by Mickey Rapkin dealing with the college a cappella circuit and all the drama it causes. I’ve not read it, so I don’t know how much of the film is real and how much is fake. I’m guessing all the vomit is real. So very real. Vomit…everywhere! Noooo..oo…..o..
There is not really spoilers below. In fact, I think the trailer gives away more of the plot than I do!
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I’ve come for the loofah!
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Categories: Good, Movies Tags: Adam DeVine, Alexis Knapp, Anna Camp, Anna Kendrick, Ben Platt, Brittany Snow, Ester Dean, Hana Mae Lee, Jason Moore, Jinhee Joung, Kay Cannon, Mickey Rapkin, Rebel Wilson, Skylar Astin, Tars sells out!
For a Good Time, Call…
For a Good Time, Call…
2012
Written by Lauren Miller and Katie Anne Naylon
Directed by Jamie Travis
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Ladies, that’s not how phone sex works! Nevermind…
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People have finally figured out women can be funny. And by people, I mean Hollywood executives who bankroll films. In the wake of Bridesmaids showing female centric comedy written by and starring women could be both entertaining and profitable, we’ve begun to see a slow trickle of other female driven raunchy humor on the big screen. For a Good Time, Call… features a duo of ladies who run a phone sex line. They also have their own personal and relationship problems along the way, because we can only have so many scenes in a row of women moaning on the phone to guys jerking it. But there is plenty of that, and it’s hilarious.
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Let me tell you about wearing pants that go up to your armpit!
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Just gonna Skype into the next Infernal Brains recording session…
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Categories: Good, Movies Tags: Ari Graynor, Don McManus, Jamie Travis, Justin Long, Katie Anne Naylon, Kevin Smith, Lauren Miller, Mimi Rogers, Seth Rogen, Tars sells out!, The Legend of Zelda Miller-Rogen
