Posts tagged "Eddie Lam Kim-Fung"

Emmanuelle in Hong Kong

Emmanuelle in Hong Kong

aka 香港艾曼紐之獸性培欲 aka Heung Gong ngaai maan nau ji sau sing pui yuk

2003
Written by Emmanuelle 71
Directed by Dick Lau Tin-Sze

Emmanuelle in Hong Kong
Sometimes a cigar represents so many things Freud needs to do some cocaine to calm down, okay???

Hey, you got Eyes Wide Shut on my Story of O! And you got Story of O on my Eyes Wide Shut! And everyone is Chinese and named Emmanuelle for some reason… Thus from this unlikely scenario we have the origin of a really disgusting Reeses product. And also Emmanuelle in Hong Kong!

Don’t be fooled, Emmanuelle in Hong Kong has nothing to do with any of the Emmanuelle series, neither the regular, black, yellow, in space, 2000, vs. Dracula, or any other random series. It is simply a name grab. And by the names of certain producers (Cary Grant!!) they are hiding behind the fake names themselves. Four films seem to have been produced at the same time by the same team, using many of the same actors. My Horny Girlfriend is another one in the series. This is looking more and more like the same model used now for the most recent Emmanuelle series! Unlike a lot of Category III trash that came out at the same time, at least some of these films attempt to do something interesting, even if it is largely copying other media and failing spectacularly. We at TarsTarkas.NET support effort.

Emmanuelle in Hong Kong
Nerdy Hef and Green Beret Phantom plan their next party

Emmanuelle in Hong Kong is another of the films produced by “Cary Grant”, a pseudonym so obvious I’m surprised they didn’t just go with Elvis Presley. And let’s not get in to the fact the script was written by “Emmanuelle 71”. The director, on the other hand, we will get into a little. Dick Lau Tin-Sze only helmed six titles, but he managed to helm a wide variety of smut, some of which stands out far and beyond the similar Category III films from the same period. Emmanuelle in Hong Kong was his first film released, followed by Erotic Agent II, then Sex and the Central, Sexy Soccer, Raped By an Angel 5, and finally The Undercover Madams, which has one of the most complex plots I’ve seen in a Category III film and I would even argue it borders on being a halfway decent flick. I don’t know if Dick Lau was a fake name that someone used in rotation or if he was just someone who dabbled in exploitation cinema under Matrix Productions Company and has since gone back to real estate or something. In any event, we wish him well.

Emmanuelle in Hong Kong
This has become one of the most creepy films of all time…

Dr. Yan Lam (Eddie Lam Kim-Fung) – Frustrated jerk husband who is the least understanding psychologist in the universe. Because his wife is experiencing emotional trauma he ships her off to be raped in the name of sexual freedom. Then he gets even more creepy. Somehow, that is possible. Eddie Lam is a prolific Category III actor, and will probably dethrone Elvis Tsui as the king of Cat III if he keeps it up.
Emily (Crystal Suen Ah-Lei) – Dr. Lam’s long-suffering wife, who had a miscarriage and has been depressed ever since. Her husband’s romantic gestures like trying to forcibly rape her have not helped, so she gets kidnapped and tortured.
Joyce (Akeno Junko) – Emily’s sister who has problems of her own, as she had frequent memory loss while nude and is secretly involved in rich people orgy cults. You know, normal problems.
Mr. K (???) – Mysterious leader of the Emmanuelle Orgy Cults, at least until it looks like a new Emmanuelle has risen through the ranks by the end of the flick. I have no clue who he is or why he wears a Phantom mask the entire film. Where is Mr. Y and Mr. Jelly?
Angel (Grace Lam Nga-Si) – Grace Lam is in this??? As a nun??? Who has a seperate side plot that does nothing and goes nowhere? Okay!
Emmanuelle 50 (Ami Sakurai) – It’s like the writer (Emmanuelle 71!) decided to name every character after him/herself or something! Another member of the sex club who Dr. Lam takes a shining to while his wife is getting the treatment.
Emmanuelle in Hong Kong
I’ll be having NUN of that Emmanuelle stuff!

Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - December 6, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

My Horny Girlfriend

My Horny Girlfriend

aka Big波誘惑 aka Big bo yau waak

2002
Written by Lee Hai
Directed by Patrick Leung Saan-Bok

My Horny Girlfriend
None of these other women made their bathing suit out of old jeans…

What do you do when you get a Category III film that tries to become a serious drama about malaise of modern life, finding yourself, depression, romance, swimming, and being contrarian just to show up cute guys on vacation? Not wonder why it is a mess, but wonder if the mess is worth checking out. The answer to that is more of if you are used to or willing to deal with Hong Kong Category III drama nonsense. It’s the kind of film that you can find acted and written a dozen times better all over the vcd shelves, but those films will also follow a predictable pattern. My Horny Girlfriend takes more risks by taking less risks. That’s a true statement, because there is a story buried beneath a bunch of junk, but also a lot of fan service that probably came from a clipboard list of what to do.

Grace Lam spends most of the film in a pouty mood, never happy. Not fun to be around at all. So that makes her the perfect leading lady! Her character is clearly suffering from some sort of depression, and she’s not the only one in the film. But she is the character with depression who still goes out and does stuff. And while some of her motives are unethical at best, the interaction, going outside, and just being around other people who aren’t just using her for sex helps Grace grow into a better, fuller person.

My Horny Girlfriend
Hello? Nothing, what are you doing?

In fact, almost every female character in My Horny Girlfriend has some sort of mental issues making them depressed. The only character who isn’t is Pamila, and her personality is extreme in the opposite end where she’s always perky and down for anything. But she also uses sex as a weapon to teach “lessons” to women she doesn’t like. Pamila is the most manipulative character, and her humongous labido drives the plot as much as Grace’s fumbling attempts to continue to get her way in an environment that doesn’t hold her hand. Pamila is a big fish version of what personality Grace is, and her more bubbly personality opens doors and gives her powers that Grace’s sour tone can’t match.

Besides the nudity, the film also features lots of girls in bikinis. Almost every character is in a bikini or less for 90% of their screen time, even the men are often in swimming suits. The director and writer are probably pseudonyms, while producer Cary Grant obviously is. Grant’s other three films are Emmanuelle in Hong Kong, Forbidden Wet Tales, and Tortured Sex Goddess of Ming Dynasty. After that, he either switched fake names again or left the movie business with empty pocketbooks. Who knows? Only “Cary Grant” and possibly the ghost of Cary Grant, who was haunting “Grant” as revenge.

My Horny Girlfriend
Not now, my ninja headband slipped down!

Grace (Grace Lam Nga-Si) – A modern working girl, who is porking her disgusting boss for promotions in a decidedly unmodern fashion. After he sends her on vacation as a reward, she spends the entire time pouting, angrily wanting a man she can’t have, and angry at a stupid lesbian who she ends up having sex with several times regardless. Her anger and her libido combine to form a double-team of sexploitation stereotypes.
Gordon (Oscar Lam Wai-Kin) – Lifeguard Gordon just saves women from drowning all day, many of which then become lifeguards in his training school. Gordon is weird. Cult leader weird. If you ever hear about dozens of lifeguards committing suicide, you know who to blame!
Pamila (Yumi Ohsako) – Hello, there! Have you seen my breasts? They are huge. Gigantic. Massive melons! I have no character development, but I do manage to get these breasts popped out all throughout the film. Breasts. Big ones. On me! I’m dubbed because they outsourced the big breasts to Japan. I’m also a lesbian, with huge bazoongas! Did I mention that? The film will…
Eddie (Eddie Lam Kim-Fung) – Swimming fan with an old leg wound, which makes him have bad swimming form. He’s an old friend of Gordon, as they were on the swim team together as kids. Gordon dumps him with Grace to get rid of her.
Dawn (Bessie Chan Ming-Kwan) – Dawn runs the bar at the beach where the cast hangs out between sex scenes. She carries a fish around in a beer mug all the time. Is depressed and being stuck in a film called My Horny Girlfriend doesn’t help her depression one bit!
My Horny Girlfriend
I had a nightmare I was in a movie called “My Horny Girlfriend”!

Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 12:09 am

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Sex and the Central (Review)

Sex and the Central


2003HKMDB Link
Directed by Dick Lau Tin-Sze (credited as Angel Lau)

A Hong Kong take on Sex in the City, except entirely in Cantonese with no subtitles, except Chinese subtitles with the only English being the characters’ names (and they couldn’t even get that right!) Not that you need subtitles in this film, basically the girls try to make their way to the top by bumping uglies with any male boss that comes along. This all gets thrown on its ears when the bosses are tossed out and a new unseducable boss comes along. Beasts are made with two backs, fluids are swapped, and babies pop out and look at you. And that’s just the redeeming qualities. We don’t need no stinkin’ subtitles on TarsTarkas.NET, so let’s have at it!

Gobby (Gobby Wong Ga-Ying) – A virgin, who due to her virginitude dresses awkward and non-sexy. Because that is how it works. Is named May in the incorrect Chinese subtitles. By the end of the film she is no longer a virgin AND a snazzy dresser!
Sophie (Sophie Ngan Chin-Man) – Sophie is the leader of the hip group of office girls who use their bodies to get promotions and get into pillowfights at her place. Sophie Ngan Chin-Man has been in such fine films as Naked Poison, Beauty and the Breast, and Quest of the Sex: Rumble in the Women’s Empire. Whoever hired her for this one didn’t want to pay the extra money to get her to take off her bottom, so we got sex scenes where she’s clearly wearing underwear thanks to shoddy camera work.
Carman (Carmen Yeung Ga-Man) –Girl #2 from the group, tries to be the high class one who is also into spankings and dressing as a schoolgirl. Not paid enough to get naked. Incorrectly called Gobby in the Chinese subtitles, but we will ignore the subtitles because they are wrong.
Dao (Dao Hwang) – Girl #3 of the group In fact, only one girl was paid enough to strip off all her clothes, going all full-frontal on you! Actually, on Simon, but whatever. They manage to call her Carman in the incorrect Chinese subtitles, which leads to much confusion.
Simon (Eddie Lam Kim-Fung) – The new boss who comes to shape up the company because the previous bosses were too busy getting it on to get any work done. Simon seems immune to the advances of our Sex and the Central crew, but can Gobby seduce where so many girls have failed? Eddie Lam Kim-Fung has been in scores of Category III films, he is gunning to be the next Elvis Tsui Kam Kong!

Read more…

2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 25, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,