Revenge Porn returns with a vengeance on Lifetime!

Revenge Porn Lifetime

I can’t believe we have to pay for access to see the porn pics they stole from you…

[adrotate banner=”7″]Revenge porn hits Lifetime with Revenge Porn! Lifetime basically renamed the film for maximum clicks from people flipping through their cable tv guide screens, as the film was originally called My Daughter’s Disgrace (which is probably a bad title because it shames the daughter for what the boyfriend does, but whatever…) You might think this sounds familiar, and that’s because it is, as the story was previously done with Break Up Nightmare just a few months back. So now we got another case of dueling Lifetime movies, and only one film will reign supreme! So who will it be???

Peyton Harris’s eighteen-year-old life is turned upside down when a set of nude photos of her are sent out to everyone she knows. She is ashamed and humiliated… but then it gets worse. The photos have also been posted on a “revenge porn” website called “” Peyton’s mother, Elaine, in an effort to protect her child, reports this invasion of privacy to the police, but becomes frustrated with their lack of response. Feeling like she has no place left to turn, Elaine launches her own investigation into the owner of “” and plans the ultimate takedown. Elisabeth Rohm, Tiera Skovbye, Aliyah O’Brien star. (2016)

It’s not a surprise that revenge porn sites are creating a whole host of Lifetime movies, this is a situation that is perfect for all sorts of dramatic films and ridiculous exploitation, what Lifetime does best! Plus, it’s lead-in is the remake of Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?, so here’s hoping it’s good, even though Lifetime hasn’t released a trailer for it…

Revenge Porn stars Elisabeth Röhm (Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark), Jodelle Ferland (Home Alone: The Holiday Heist), Aliyah O’Brien (Garage Sale Mystery: Guilty Until Proven Innocent), Tiera Skovbye (Sugarbabies), David Lewis (Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever), Levi Meaden (1313: Bigfoot Island), R.J. Fetherstonhaugh (Hello Destroyer), and Sandy Sidhu (Preggoland). It’s written by Kendall Clark (Megachurch Murder) and directed by Monika Mitchell (Sugarbabies). As we have some Lifetime alumni in that group, things are looking up for some great Lifetime cheese!

Revenge Porn premieres Saturday, June 18th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Revenge Porn Lifetime

Actual promo still of the guy who runs a website in this movie, I can assure you that everyone who runs a website looks like this.

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever (Review)

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever

Grump Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
Written by Tim Hill and Jeff Morris
Directed by Tim Hill

Grump Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
What to do about Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever? That is the mystery, because the noxious exploitation of a deformed cat has already got everyone beat by predicting their own movie would be awful and makes that joke over and over again. And in a way, the movie is awful. But in a way, part of it isn’t. Part of it tries so hard and comes so far, but in the end, it really doesn’t matter. It’s crawling in its own skin, and other lyrics. This isn’t going to be an angry screed against the film, because it doesn’t deserve that, and angry rants against this movie will seem forced and uninteresting. It’s more of a statement on the film and US culture today.

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever takes place in a mall, once the bastion of American consumerism. Malls are dying all over America, as shopping moves online, teenagers switch up where they hang out, and overpriced chain stores fail to compete with discount chains as far as the shrinking wallet of American consumers is concerned. The economic recovery that produced jobs that pay insultingly low raises, people trapped due to lack of opportunity, young people graduating to a world where they can’t find a job related to their degrees. Into this world we dump a movie about a talking deformed cat.
Grump Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
The mall setting mirrors with the commercial exploitation of the Grumpy Cat into a marketing line. Grumpy Cat is no longer a cat, but a product. The movie even includes scenes that hawk the Grumpy Cat website and Grumpy Cat swag. Grumpy Cat is a success story for the owner, who went from being a waitress to a millionaire, built on the back of a cat and not any actual talent. It’s all about selling out, making all the money you can possibly rake in. The film is even set up in a mall pet store, not an animal shelter. A pet store filled with animals begging for homes, but the only one with a future is a papered pedigree dog worth a million dollars. The animals are commodities, their personalities disabled by a dismissive quip or two from Grumpy Cat.
Grump Cat's Worst Christmas Ever
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A Fairly Odd Christmas grants your trailer wish!

[adrotate banner=”1″]Friday, November 30th is the premiere on Nickelodeon of A Fairly Odd Christmas, the sequel to A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner! Most of the cast is returning for this new adventure. As we learn,

The movie follows the latest adventures of Timmy Turner (Drake Bell) and his childhood friend Tootie (Daniella Monet), who travel around the world granting kids’ wishes. But when his good intentions actually result in kids’ wishes disappearing from Santa’s “good” list, Timmy must find a way to restore order and the children’s faith in Santa Claus before ruining Christmas forever

That’s odd, because the trailer shows Timmy accidentally murdering Santa and then becoming the new Santa a la The Santa Claus, except he must first get his own name off of the naughty list before the film can go all Ernest Saves Christmas.

Whatever way the film goes, it’s got killer ginderbread men in it, and that’s awesome, so I’ll definitely be down for some fairly oddness.

A Fairly Odd Christmas

After Christmas, this franchise is going to Arbor Day!

A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner! (Review)

A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!

Directed by Savage Steve Holland
Written by Butch Hartman & Scott Fellows

When A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner! was first announced as a live-action feature film, it sounded like it would be terrible. Who needed yet another live action film for a cartoon? Haven’t we suffered enough? But, Grow up, Timmy Turner! instead turned out to be a good surprise, keeping the tone of the cartoon while delving into raging manchild territory with a plot so off the walls that it is brilliant. And yes, that means I liked it very much. I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you! Who knew that I would end up enjoying what appeared to be a terrible Disney Channel-type film? But Grow Up, Timmy Turner is much more than that, it’s fun, and sort of has a message about the need to grow up and move on with your life buried beneath the wacky antics of the hijinks that ensue.

For those of you out of the loop, The Fairly Oddparents is a cartoon series about a child named Timmy Turner’s fairly godparents who grant him wishes, and all the adventures that entails. The series’ bizarro humor helped earn it a cult following among more than little kids, with viewers of all ages tuning in. There has been sporadic tv-movie specials for The Fairly Oddparents, though this is the first live-action special.

Grow Up, Timmy Turner continues the same basic plot, except Timmy is now 23 years old, still in the same grade at school, still living at home, and still not grown up, because being grown up loses you your fairy godparents. It’s in the rules, trust us, they break out the rules to read during the movie!

Cameos from the cartoon show up all over the place. Jorgen Von Strangle (Mark Gibbon), the strongest fairy and the boss of all fairies, appears repeatedly throughout the film to threaten Timmy. He’s an obvious Arnold Schwarzenegger parody. Timmy’s childhood friend Chester McBadBat and A.J. (Chris Anderson and Jesse Reid) appear sporadically as adults assuming the still-childlike Timmy is jealous of their “successes”, though the successes are never elaborated on.

Director Savage Steve Holland was an 80s genius with such classic films as Better Off Dead, One Crazy Summer, and How I Got Into College. He got into tv with The New Adventures of Beans Baxter and the Encyclopedia Brown series on HBO, but his greatest television creation was Eek! the Cat (and accompanying cartoons.) He’s since been making a living directing episodes of family fare tv series, making him perfect for this film packed with Nickelodeon teens.

Timmy (Drake Bell) – Timmy Turner has been 10 years old for the past 13 years. Not literally 10 years old, but living as a 10 year old despite being 23. Thanks to his magical fairy godparents, he can wish for whatever he wants. And what he wants is to keep being able to wish for whatever he wants. But things may change…
Tootie (Daniella Monet) – Tootie was the childhood gross girl that crushed on Timmy Turner despite him thinking girls were gross. But now she’s all hot and Timmy’s like “DAAAAA-YUUUMMM!!!” Daniella Monet has a role in the series VICTORiOUS
Fairy Godparents – Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof – (Susanne Blakeslee, Daran Norris, Jason Alexander, Cheryl Hines, Randy Jackson) – Timmy’s fairy godparents show up for the most part as CGI constructs, but during a few sequences turn into Jason Alexander and Cheryl Hines.
Denzel Crocker (David Lewis) – Mr. Crocker is Timmy’s fairy-obsessed teacher, and has been his teacher for 13 years. It is a tough decision deciding which is less mature.
Hugh J. Magnate (Steven Weber) – It’s your standard evil billionaire with a lost childhood, except he doesn’t have a sled or anything. Though he is evil.

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