The Coed and the Zombie Stoner (Review)

The Coed and the Zombie Stoner

Coed and the Zombie Stoner
Written by Scotty Mullen
Directed by Glenn R. Miller

Coed and the Zombie Stoner

This happened all the time when I was a meter maid!

Zombies! Frat parties! Nude chicks! Drugs! Crass jokes! The Coed and the Zombie Stoner is a modern mish-mashterpiece of crazy that won’t settle for just being ridonkulous. Much as Dark Helmet sends Spaceball 1 into ludicrous speed, The Coed and the Zombie Stoner makes its own pattern of plaid, and thankfully is wearing its helmet!

The Coed and the Zombie Stoner begins with nude chicks and a zombie attack, and then backs up to the Warm Bodies-esque love tale, by way of the Mary Jane. Marijuana is the cause of and solution to the zombie menace, as the weed is partially responsible for the experiment gone awry that causes the zombies, as well as keeping the zombies calm so they don’t attack people.

Special breakout performances from Jamie Noel as Bambi, the sorority bitch from hell! In a most excellent scene she drops her own version of the cunt-punch email that made the internet rounds, and you believe in your heart of hearts that her character would gleefully threaten such a thing.

Coed and the Zombie Stoner

This is a disaster! Ziggy deserves better than page 3!

Lena Young and Dora Pereli as Bibi and Bunny, goofy sorority besties who can’t seem to keep their clothes on. I’ve been around enough to know you have to be very good to act that goofy and ditzy and energetic without it coming off a totally fake, and they nail their performances. Even Chrissy joins in on their sorority chants in the middle of crisis, it’s how infectiously charismatic these two are. Those suds in the opening scene? Spontaneously appeared because of how bubbly these two are!

Zombie purists will get annoyed that the Romero rules aren’t being enforced, but zombie purists are annoying, so good. The rules seem more like the Return of the Living Dead rules, except pot mellows the zombies out. The zombies retain much of their minds, and even stage elaborate scenarios and entertaining games as they devour their prey

The Coed and the Zombie Stoner is like the 1980s college flicks and zombie flicks crashed into each other, then were bathed in 2010s sensibilities. There are references all over the place to other films, and at times it seems we jump right into a scene from one of them. The Coed and the Zombie Stoner is a clearinghouse for toilet humor. Not just the actual humor involving toilets and bodily functions, but within the universe. The frats and sororities have provocative names like KY House, DIK Frat, and even ZBE Frat, the fraternity that foreshadows. Christine Nguyen cameos as a librarian, and Mindy Robinson has a bit part as Nurse Escandalo. So there is just so much fun going on, let the party begin!

Coed and the Zombie Stoner

This is a weird reboot of Captain N: The Game Master

Chrissy Chrysanthemum (Catherine Annette) – Brilliant college student, sorority sister, and researcher who talks and talks and talks and talks. Her constant talking leaves her without a boyfriend and in danger of losing her scholarship, until she meets a nice zombie guy who listens.
Rigo Fabian (Grant O’Connell) – Secret zombie who lives in one of the labs, he’s from back in the class of ’85, yet only Dr. Avon knows he’s still around until he starts dating Chrissy. Is a nice guy zombie except for his zombie temper. was a brilliant researcher before the accident.
Bambi (Jamie Noel) – The Queen Bee of Sorority Crazy, Bambi is a force of nature that destroys all in her path. Anyone who dares put things out of place gets demolished and humiliated, and her usual target is Chrissy.
Bibi (Lena Young) – Super energetic sorority sister who spends most of the film forgetting to wear clothes and hanging out with her BFF, Bunny.
Bunny (Dora Pereli) – Super energetic sorority sister who spends most of the film forgetting to wear clothes and hanging out with her BFF, Bibi.
Spike (Andrew Clements) – Chrissy’s brother and local DJ. Has an unfortunate encounter with a zombie’s hand.
P.J. (Ben Whalen) – Chrissy’s ex-boyfriend who dumps her right at the beginning of the film for Bambi, and then spends the whole time acting like the gigantic douche he is.
Dr. Pier Avon (Louis J. Dezsoran) – Chrissy’s boss at the university and the only person who knew about Rigo all these years before he is introduced to the rest of the school.
Brad (Aaron Caleb) – Nerdish frat guy who can’t catch a break, or a girl, though has caught a cold sore. Gets in touch with his feminine side.
Romero the cat (???) – A very naughty cat who is also a pot zombie as well as a namecheck reference to zombie movies.

Coed and the Zombie Stoner

The car was already like this, the montage was them just changing outfits!

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Make fangs for Vampire Schoolgirls!

[adrotate banner=”1″]Vampire Schoolgirls is a film I found out about by following trails on the IMDB while looking at who starred in what and then looking at their costars and suddenly I’m in films I’ve never heard of. I play the same game with Wikipedia sometimes. Thanks to this film being almost invisible on the internet (and one of the production companies being called “Black Fish Films” that returns only Google results for the film Blackfish), all I know about Vampire Schoolgirls is what is on the imdb page. Which includes a plot synopsis and writer and some stars, but no director. But as Douglas Knox has directed all the shorts he previously wrote, it might be safe to assume he’s directing here. This also looks like his first feature length film.

In a town infested with Vampires, the citizens hire a priest and his team of sexy Vampire Hunters to drive them out, but a new girl in town could be the secret weapon they have been looking for in their war with the vampires.

Listed cast on IMDB: Christiana Leucas, Catherine Annette, Jessica Andres, Matthew Ashford, Lindsay Lamb, Dawn Michaels, Craig Michaelson, Lana Kirata, Kristin Elliott, Victoria Levine, Patrick Coleman Duncan, and Jamie Suraci. Vampire Schoolgirls has a 2015 release date scheduled, we’ll keep you in the know if further developments develop!

The Coed and the Zombie Stoner – new high art from Asylum!

[adrotate banner=”1″]Asylum is just cranking out the films faster than I can keep up with them by randomly checking their website every month or so. To wit, their tweet about the new film The Coed and the Zombie Stoner, which will be premiering exclusively on XBox Live, aka meaning I won’t be able to see it. But it looks like another Asylum softcore romp, this time the gimmick is there is a zombie pothead. Hey, that’s combining three different genres into one! Who said Asylum doesn’t know how to roll things up together. Idiots, that’s who! It says “Sex, drugs, and the walking dead” right on the poster!

When a nerdy sorority girl falls in love with a zombie, it’s only a matter of time before a zombie apocalypse is unleashed on campus. The sorority girl discovers that weed is the cure–now she must smoke out the entire school before it’s too late.

Yes, weed cures zombies now. It’s true, I heard it from Cypress Hill. I think. I can’t remember, I was pretty high, but it was probably Cypress Hill, or some guy who was on a hill. Hm…

The Coed and the Zombie Stoner stars Mindy Robinson(Asian School Girls), Jamie Noel(Bikini Spring Break), Grant O’Connell(m4m), Catherine Annette(Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Supernatural Sexual Activity), Ben Whalen(A Leading Man), Andrew Clements(Bikini Spring Break), Jared Cohn(Underground Lizard People) and Lena Young(The Potstickers). It’s directed by Glenn Miller(The Bell Witch Haunting) and written by Scotty Mullen (who hasn’t written anything else) Anyone with XBox Live want to check in and say if this is any fun, feel free. Otherwise, the rest of use will have to wait until this gets a wider release.

The Coed and the Zombie Stoner Asylum