Posts tagged "Can’tidates"

2010 Can'tidates – Carly Fiorina has a habit of running shit into the ground

Carly Fiorina is many things. She’s a God-fearing Christian woman who was once regarded as one of the most powerful women in the business world. She’s a fierce blond who leads with a “my way or the highway” attitude, a stubborn and callous leadership quality that has not always worked out in her favor. She’s one of the few Conservatives running for an elected position in 2010 who was actually called out by the Wall Street Journal for her horrendous 3 1/2 demon sheep campaign ad which Tars Tarkas featured yesterday. She also likes to refer to herself in the third person a lot when she tweets.

Speaking of bad decisions, Carly’s campaign slogan used to be “Carlyfornia Dreamin’!” which I guess is supposed to tap into that 20-35 male demographic of “dudes who love MILFs”. More recently, with her sheep ad, the slogan has changed to “FCINO“, which for obvious reason doesn’t make for that great of a slogan (considering that upon first reference no one knows what the fuck you’re talking about), but poor decision making has never gotten in the way of Carly Fiorina’s ability to run her operation (in a downward direction).

One of the best ways to illustrate Carly’s lack of proper leadership skills and ability to govern can be taken by example of how she ran her propsering Silicon Valley company, which she became CEO of in 1999, straight out to pasture (ha!). As the acting chief financial officer of Hewlitt-Packard, Carly quickly became one of the most loathed parts of the company for insisting that HP buy failing computer manufacturer Compaq. Her decision to go through with the aquisition, despite moans and groans from her board of directors as well as her employees, earned her the title of “worst CEO in Silicon Valley history“. Her reputation and leadership was so bad in fact that when she was booted from HP in 2005 the stock price of the company shot way up. Calbuzz also made reference to some dubious business she was behind with Iran, selling tens of millions of dollars worth of HP equipment to a country that was on the Axis of Evil list, while still seated as CEO.

Besides her horrible attack ad, there isn’t much to discuss when it comes to Carly Fiorina and politics. This is mostly due to the fact that she has had no real career in politics, yet she’s running for a senate seat in the most populous and biggest economic state in the Union. Otherwise this article would be chock full of political punditry. It makes you think though, if Fiorina was so hated and despised as CEO of HP for her awful business decisions, how much more ire would she draw from the citizens, or employees if you will, of California if and when elected? I just hope that she doesn’t send her army of techno-killer sheep after us when she loses the primary.

1 comment - What do you think?
Posted by skiplogic - February 4, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Categories: Wingnut Web   Tags: ,

2010 Can'tidates – Rosanna Pulido is back!

Rosanna Pulido – aka chicagolady – who we met last year and helped expose as a radical Minuteman and FreeRepublic message board poster of naughty statements (thus getting our names in Chicagoe newspaper websites) – returned to run for the same Illinois 5th Congressional seat in 2010 that she lost in 2009. Despite branding herself a 9-12 Candidate (which confused me because I wasn’t sure if she was even running as a Republican this time) she managed to be in the Republican primary for IL-5 and got beat down:

Ratowitz 5,527 39.6%
Pulido 4,601 33.0%
Lad 3,819 27.4%

I don’t know who Lad is, but good job getting less votes than the FreeRepublic candidate!

Pulido’s official site is http://www.rosannapulido2010.com/

And she hasn’t learned to stop making hateful posts on FreeRepublic.com!

RINO no-no!
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Rosanna loves her home city!
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Woman Found Dead at McDonald’s Food Processing Plant
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2298513/posts
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http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2271961/posts
Pulido posts a thread insulting the guy who kicked her butt in the special election (Congressman Mike Quigley) for daring to support gay rights and not wanting them all to die in a ditch!
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2310769/posts
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No guns for Negroes????
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It’s a conspiracy among Whites newspaper people to go bankrupt!
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2334408/posts
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More NY-23 victory delusions
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/gop/2392772/posts
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Sheriff Joe for gov
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2392648/posts
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RINOs for Illionois Gov – Republican Andy McKenna
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/gop/2388175/posts
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Thanks to Brown Moses, POTUShead, Keels, and the rest of the Jeepers Freepers LF crew! Sorry this didn’t get put up until after she lost, but better late than never (and maybe she’ll show up as a third party candidate anyway!)

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - February 3, 2010 at 10:01 am

Categories: Politicians and Pundits, Wingnut Web   Tags: , , ,

2010 Can'tidates – Ernest Huber

So we’re going to have a little fun as we enter the 2010 election season. TarsTarkas.NET will be profiling some of the minor candidates running for office, most of which have absolutely no chance of winning, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t awful.

First up is Ernest Huber – Official Site
Ernest is a Republican candidate for the 8th Congressional District in Washington State, trying to primary incumbent Rep. Dave Reichert, who is accused of being a RINO.

Let’s take a look at Ernest’s website:

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Looks like a standard right wing guy so far, with enough kids to get a TLC show, but then we go into the section of his website that is nothing but giant wall of text essays.

Ernest Huber actively believes Barack Obama is a grave threat to America and wants to break out the Red Scare witch hunts! And if you object, you must be guilty guilty guilty! Then I guess Ernest Huber won’t object to me going through his wife’s underwear drawer. Because if he does, he’s a commie!
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Ernest Huber thinks the entire point of the War on Terror is to just kill more of them than they kill of us. Like deaths are a score. So war is a video game. Who cares about lose of life or not hurting innocents or even having a war justified by facts, it is nothing except a giant scoreboard. Like Frogger. Hey, Napoleon Huber, what happens with the US and China each kill 300 million of the other side? They win, because we have nothing left.
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As a biologist, this is among the dumbest thing I have ever read about how speciation works. But good luck declaring war on nature, Ernest Huber. Bonus Al Gore is Evil action!
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One of several times Huber goes off on pedophilia and necrophilia and other things to try to smear gays. Squeaky wheels.
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What the frak? If you ever organize anything, you are a communist! Huber would be perfectly happy putting every Democrat into camps. Tell me more about how I am very bad, Huber!
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If you are gay, you are committing a hate crime! That’s a new one.
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Now, this is where it gets creepy. Just who is projected to be going into extinction by 2050? White America. Yes, white people. And not extinct, just a minority, but Huber is wrong about everything so why start now? Huber continues with talking about brown slaves and Mexican invaders in case you didn’t get his not-so-coded racism.
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Atheists, Communists, and Gamaliels, Oh My!
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Jesus loves you, but he also hates you.
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Lonely? It’s because of feminism. It’s also why you are metrosexual!
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I think the first thing that will happen to you on the floor will be getting arrested for trespassing what with you having no chance ever of getting elected.
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Huber is also so lazy he’s not even going to bother to do any work, requiring YOU to do all the work to get him elected! So get off your lazy butt, maggots!
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And Ernest Huber posts on Resistnet.com!

Here he is calling for the overthrow of the US government…
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Yeah, that will work…
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Thanks to the magic of the internet, we got lots more terrible can’tidates to profile, so until next time, remember that it’s your job to get this racist wackjob elected, as he’s too busy ranting on the internet to bother to campaign!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - February 2, 2010 at 12:37 am

Categories: Culture Wars, Politicians and Pundits, Wingnut Web   Tags: , ,