It’s the RiffTrax Live 2015 Kickstarter!

Posted on by
Reply


RiffTrax is back in trax again to kickstart their way to a theater near you. And they will be in theaters because they reached their $75,000 goal the first day, so expect all four of the promised films in theaters, and now it’s time for RiffTrax to brainstorm some stretch goals!

The lineup for 2015 is incredible, and they didn’t even need to pull in some random studio film thanks to the magic of entirely awful non-mainstream productions.

Thanks to you, we have done two hugely successful Kickstarters over the past two years that funded us to be able to riff STARSHIP TROOPERS and GODZILLA (1998) + ANACONDA LIVE and simulcast to over 700 theaters across North America. These shows were a big hit, and this year we have the opportunity to perform FOUR RiffTrax Live shows with some of the most awesome bad movies ever. Are you ready? They are:

– THE ROOM!

– SHARKNADO 2!

– MIAMI CONNECTION!

– SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY!

It’s a superfecta of bad movies. We call it… THE CRAPPENING.

We did it! We got the rights to ALL these cinematic masterpieces. Woohoo!!! And we can’t wait to riff ’em live. To seal the deal, we’d love your help again. The cost to secure the theatrical rights and for the production itself is beyond doing this on our own, but it does work out if we get a little help from our fans.

The dates of the films:
– THE ROOM – Wed. May 6th! (Encore Tues. May 12)

– SHARKNADO 2 – Thurs. July 9th! (Encore Thurs. July 16)

– MIAMI CONNECTION – Thurs. October 1st! (Encore Tues. Oct. 6)

– SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY – Thurs. December 3rd! (Encore Tues. Dec 15)

And, yes, that’s the version of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny that has the Jack and the Beanstalk inserts, not the Thumbelina version. And it’s in widescreen, for extra creepy bunny horror! I’ve never actually seen the Jack and the Beanstalk version, so this will be an extra-special Christmas treat. Miami Connection is legit one of the best movies ever made, but has so many weird things going on a running commentary would be a worthy addition. Sharknado 2 has enough cameos and weirdo gore there should be some great things going on. And also, The Room. What can be said about that that hasn’t been said a million times before? Go to the RiffTrax Live event and find out! Baring illness (as that’s the only thing that’s kept me away from the theater events before), looks like my 2015 theater budget just got a whole lot of rearranging going on to check all these out.

Kickstarter link
RiffTrax.com

RiffTrax

Megachurch Murder (Review)

Posted on by
Reply

Megachurch Murder

Megachurch Murder
2015
Written by Kendall Clark
Directed by Darin Scott
Megachurch Murder
Megachurch Murder is a pretty keen take on Hamlet played in the world of church politics, complete with a ton of Shakespeare references tossed in. Hannah Spears (Shanica Knowles) is our Hamlet, her father, Hamilton Spears (Malcolm-Jamal Warner), winds up mysteriously dead, and the new church leader both announces a massive expansion of the church and also moves in on Hamilton’s widow, Martha Spears (Tamala Jones).

It’s important to note that Shaker Point, the church, is not a megachurch. The megachurch is the concept that new church leader Clay King (Michael Beach) proposes after his ascent to power. He’s supported by his son Marcus King (Corbin Bleu), while black sheep son Oliver King (Romeo Miller) is assigned to look after Hannah. Hannah has not taken her father’s death well, as highlighted by her showing up drunk to the church service that announces the expansion and ranting at the audience about disrespecting her father’s memory. No one takes Hannah seriously due to her constant drunken state (even Hannah), until she discovers a flash drive with a video message from Hamilton Spears to her detailing the shady goings on in the church leadership, and how he fears he’s in danger. But that drunk Hannah spills her wine all over the flash drive, meaning she has to enlist her computer-savy friend Harlow Gillman (Santana Dempsey ) to recover the message, which will take most of the film.
Megachurch Murder
While that waits, Hannah tips her hand a few times with her suspicions, leading Clay to target her for elimination. Marcus’s scheme to drug her fails (Hannah has decided to remain sober during her investigation, but only pretend to be drunk so no one suspects her, thus she doesn’t ingest anything), and his attempts to grab her in church in front of her mother causes Hannah to fight back and Marcus to fall to his death off the balcony. At this point Hannah’s mom Martha suspects Clay knows more than he’s letting on about Hamilton’s death, and soon all the Spears and King family members are confronting each other on a bridge, and they all won’t get out alive (Though the body count is a bit lower than in actual Hamlet!)
Megachurch Murder
Continue reading →

Babysitter’s Black Book is a page-turner on Lifetime!

Posted on by
Reply

Babysitter's Black Book Lifetime movie

Come on, Ashley, be a hooker! All the cool kids are doing it: Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, Stacey, Dawn, Mallory, Jessi, and Abby!


If you thought that since Lifetime had done the poor students turning to hooking up with dudes for money thing already this year with Sugar Daddies and wouldn’t touch it again, welcome to Planet Wrong! Babysitter’s Black Book is a very similar but very different tale of a poor student lured into the world of selling her body for money. Except now they are in high school! Dun dun DUN! Also it’s sort of maybe based on a true story they read the article title of online before making up their own version here. And maybe it will have some of the things Sugar Daddies lacked, or maybe it will make Sugar Daddies look like gold. Only time (and watching the movie) will tell!

Will there be a literal black book? And will I get to make more The Babysitter’s Club jokes when I write the review? I hope so…

When her parents’ financial problems threaten Ashley’s dreams for college, the high school whiz kid takes matters into her own hands. She and her girlfriends turn their babysitting business into a wildly successful escort service for dads. But in this small suburban community, nothing stays secret for long. Inspired by true stories.

Babysitter’s Black Book stars Spencer Locke (Detention), Perry Reeves (Entourage), Ryan McPartlin (Chuck), Lauren York (Iron Man 3), and Steffani Brass (Bundy) It’s directed by Lee Friedlander (House Husbands) and written by Richard Kletter (Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life) and Michele Samit (Uncaged Heart). That alone promises a crazy script, so here is hoping things go way over the top! My money is on a random babysitter ending up dead!

Babysitter’s Black Book premieres Saturday, February 21, on Lifetime!

via Lifetime/Charles Christopher

Sugar Daddies (Review)

Posted on by
2

Sugar Daddies

Sugar Daddies
2015
Written by Barbara Kymlicka
Directed by Doug Campbell
Sugar Daddies
The bread and butter of Lifetime movies are ridiculous scare films that show the danger of things like being pregnant, drugs, the internet, being involved in any way with a man, being involved in any way with a woman, or choking yourself to get high. So of course they have to chime in on the dangerous world of college-age girls sleeping with rich older men for money with Sugar Daddies. Spoiler alert: It’s dangerous!

Kara Jones (Taylor Gildersleeve) is your typical hardworking prelaw student who spends all her time waiting tables, working on papers, and having beer spilled on her. Oh, and she’s fired, because they hired too many people at the bar. She’s got no money and no job, thus can’t accept an unpaid internship somewhere that would rocket her future law career. Kara’s roommate Shawna (Ashley McCarthy) has no money problems, because she receives large checks thanks to the time she spends hanging out with a rich old guy. Real old. Old as balls. Old as balls that blast out dust. Into Shawna, hence how she makes her money. The lure of not being broke, dropping out, and being a waitress for the next decade is appealing to Kara, enough that she lets Shawna talk her into attending one of the meetup parties, which is packed with rich old guys and hot young thing. Kara gets uncomfortable, and she’s approached by a man named Grant Zager (Peter Strauss). Though he’s more charming than creepy, she still leaves. Grant remarks to his creepy bodyguard Peter (Timothy Brennen) that he loves a challenge.
Sugar Daddies
Grant is one of those guys who has enough money to always get his way, and with Kara having no money, her family having no money (her dad (James C. Burns) was injured at work and the insurance company screwed them over, leaving them with huge medical bills). Kara allows herself to be talked into going out with Grant once, which means a dinner date in San Francisco (which they fly to by private jet, though it’s still less impressive to me, who lives in San Francisco!) He also dangles a $5000 check in front of her, promising she’ll get one every month, if…
Sugar Daddies
Continue reading →

A Gift of Miracles brings the presents to Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

Posted on by
Reply

A Gift of Miracles Hallmark Movies and Mysteries

Hey, Mom had the secrets to find the Holy Grail hidden away in her diary!


Mysteries aren’t just figuring out who killed the person in town everyone wants dead, sometimes the greatest mystery is just life itself. Or, someone else’s life, and what they make of it. Citizen Kane became one of the greatest movies of all time based on the back of a mystery about the titular character’s life. Hallmark Movies & Mysteries brings a similar theme to play with A Gift of Miracles, as a daughter gets to know the mother she never knew by going through her belongings and returning “borrowed” items. The premise is intriguing and sounds like a fun distraction from a never-ending stream of mystery procedurals while still fitting into the concept of the channel theme. Outside the box thinking like this should be rewarded, and hopefully the movie lives up to the tiny hype I just gave it:

A pragmatic PhD candidate must let go of her logic when she finds a list of items to give
away written by the late mother she never knew. With the encouragement of her enthusiastic new mentor, she attempts to return everything on the list and begins to encounter unexplainable coincidences that lead her to understand the world’s smallest marvels have the greatest meaning.

A Gift of Miracles stars Rachel Boston (Ghosts of Girlfriends Past) as Darcy Miller, Rita Moreno (West Side Story) as Beverly, Jesse Moss (Iron Golem) as Nathan, Andrew Airlie (Look Who’s Talking Now) as Frank, and Sarah Jane Redmond (Sorority Wars) as Kathy. It is directed by Neill Fearnley (Daydream Believers: The Monkees’ Story) and written by Bart Fisher (How to Fall in Love)

A Gift of Miracles premieres Sunday, February 15, on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Channel! It will be a nice cooling off movie after seeing 50 Shades of Grey at the theaters and the resulting action…

via Hallmark Movies & Mysteries/Bettina Strauss

Sleepy Hollow S02E11 – “The Akeda”

Posted on by
Reply

Akeda Sleepy Hollow

Frank Irving needs a glowing sword in every episode!


Sleepy Hollow “The Akeda”
Written by Mark Goffman
Directed by Dwight Little
Akeda Sleepy Hollow

90% of this show is people hiding behind trees


At times Sleepy Hollow defies expectations. So when the seven year long prophecy that has become the founding mythology of the show gets tossed on its ear, the fun is only about to begin. “The Akeda” will have consequences that flow into the rest of the series. The episode’s fundamental changes to the series are lessened by one twist being telegraphed too far in advance, and another being far less of a twist than advertised. Still, things get tore up, and our intrepid band of heroes face a daunting trial as the End of Days begins. And yet, they still spend an awful long time dawdling while supposedly on a time crunch. With this mid-season finale coming in at episode 11, it appears either the arc got squished a bit or dragged out some. Regardless, this episode was full of fun (and sorrow), becoming a kicking rad endpoint that is only the end of the beginning.

It’s Apocalypse Now! Molloch has risen, while Abbie and Ichabod rush with Methuselah’s Sword to strike Molloch down. But lightning takes out their car, and the phone that would call a cab. Darn that lightning! Luckily, motorcycles are now immune to lightning, but unluckily where they think Molloch is being risen, he ain’t. They do find and rescue Katrina, and at the same time capturing the Headless Horseman thanks to Methuselah’s Sword. The only problem is, the Headless Horseman reveals that if they use the sword to kill, the bearer of the sword will also die.

Thus begins one of several delays as they spend time making sure the sword will really do that, coming up with a plan to deal with that fact. The solution comes in the form of former Captain Frank Irving, who has already lost his soul and thus can’t sacrifice his soul and life via the sword. They also delay getting more weapons from Nick Hawley, and Ichabod and Katrina have some more wedding bickering as their relationship is still in rough seas. Katrina giving praises to the captive Headless Horseman Abraham van Brunt is also not well received.

Akeda Sleepy Hollow

Okay, okay, this is the last 50 Shades of Grey joke, I swear!


Continue reading →