Go! Godman: Godman vs. Skeleton Man No.1 and Skeleton Man No.2 (ゴッドマン対スケルトマンNo.1・スケルトマンNo.2)

March of Godzilla Godman

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Skeleton Man No.1 and Skeleton Man No.2

aka ゴッドマン対スケルトマンNo.1・スケルトマンNo.2 その1 – その6 aka Goddoman Tai Sukerutoman No.1 – Sukerutoman No.2
Skeleton man Godman
Week of January 18 – 24, 1973
Skeleton man Godman
Wow, two skeleton men for the price of one! Must have been deal week at the Kaiju Bargain Basement Emporium! Or at least at the popup Spirit Halloween store…

The villains are Skeleton Man No.1 and Skeleton Man No.2, and because we are jerks, we’re calling them the Skeleton Man No.s instead of Skeleton Men. Don’t like it? Too bad! That’s how we roll at TarsTarkas.NET, blazing our own path of referring to obscure kaiju be technically correct but odd-sounding monikers.

The biggest mystery of this episode is who is Skeleton Man No.1 and who is Skeleton Man No.2. It is such a mystery that even the data cards included on the DVD aren’t even too clear about which is which. And thanks to this episode not being on the DVD and thus me getting it through a Chinese stream that has some amazingly low quality video, I can’t definitively identify the individual Skeleton Man No.s in each scene. If I blow the images up big, they just get all blocky, and we aren’t in a Minecraft horror reality, yet. So I’m just arbitrarily assigning the first one to show up as Skeleton Man No.1, and the second as Skeleton Man No.2, and not worrying about which pixelated image I use for which one. This isn’t rocket surgery, this is Godman!
Skeleton man Godman
A shortpantsed Kenny is fishing, when suddenly a wild Skeleton Man No. appears and puts him in a choke hold! “GODDOMAN!” the voiceless children cry! So these Skeleton Men No. are actually evil and not just misunderstood, unless they are some sort of defenders of fishes or just overly aggressive enforcers of having a fishing license. But probably just evil. It is a sad state of affairs that I have to judge these monsters before we know if Godman’s righteous justice is actually righteous. We can’t be too careful, Godman has a history of harassing innocents, but he’s probably in the clear here if he’s going to kill (rekill?) this Skeleton Man No..

Godman tosses his exploding disk at the Skeleton Man No. who is still holding the kid(!!), but it doesn’t blow up, it just knocks him away from the kid. The Skeleton Man No. (who we are going to assume is Skeleton Man No.1) has teleporting powers, and he and Godman fight with him occasionally beaming around. The fact the Skeleton Man No.1 is basically a fancy leotard with a skull mask allows for some more acrobatic fighting, so there is a lot more flipping going on than the usual drunk wrestling.

Tsuzuku!

The battle continues in Part 2 as the theme song blares, punctuated occasionally by the unearthly electronic chicken shrieks of Skeleton Man No.1. At one point Skeleton Man No.1 teleports away from the fight to chase after the shortpantsed Kenny again! Some pervs just got sick impulses, I guess. He’d clearly demonstrated that he’s a monster that needs to be taken out.

Skeleton Man No.1 can throw knives, because he does so at Godman, but they miss. It’s hard to aim when you only have sockets for eyes! Then Godman tosses his explosive disk back, but Skeleton Man No.1 catches it and tosses it aside before it blows up. Just then, Skeleton Man No.2 pops up where the disk exploded! The two Skeleton Men No.s give each other a cross-armed salute and then dance around each other celebrating as Godman looks on, confused. I am also confused on the logic of this, but let’s just go with it. because we don’t have any other choice. Godman reassures the kid while the Skeleton Men No.s continue to dance around and make arm motions beckoning Godman to attack them

Tsuzuku

Godman takes them both on, but is sort of confused on the “don’t let one of them grab you while the other beats you” rule of fighting two people at once. Luckily the Skeleton man No.s are dumb and soon are smacking each other because their punches at Godman miss and they accidentally connected on each other, and then they continue to brawl as Godman watches. It’s easy when your opponent do your job for you. Godman then beats them unconscious, but they teleport away.

Tsuzuku
Skeleton man Godman
The Skeleton No.s conduct a renewed assault on Godman, as this is only part 4 of six we got to fill it with plenty of scenes of Godman getting beat up before he turns the tide and finally wins. But it gives me time to write that these Skeleton No.s sure have a bone to pick with Godman!

Godman even kicks the Skeleton Men No.s in their junk, and I guess these Skeleton Man No.s are like Wolfman and have nards, because it works. Not that much of nards, because they easily recover and beat up Godman some more and toss him down a hill.

Tsuzuku

Godman breaks out the flail to tenderize up these skeletons. Time to grind the bones. Despite having a powerful weapon and fighting two morons, Godman can’t seal the deal and by the end of the episode they are both beating on him as he lies crumpled on the ground. You only got one more part to not lose to piles of bones, you dink! Remember what a wise man said, “Seize the bone!”

Tsuzuku

Godman prevails, not by doing any smart strategy, but by just fighting back instead of lying their and getting beaten up. And despite dropping his flail and getting beaten up more, he then picks up the flail and wallops the villains. First one Skeleton Man No. explodes into nothing, then the second is beaten and explodes into…a smaller skull with a tiny, child-sized skeleton! What the heck, are the Skeleton Men No.s actually Skeleton Babies No.s???? Did Godman just murder two infants? What in the world??? Godman IS a supervillain!!!! Find out more of his evil deeds at the Godman Splash Page!
Skeleton man Godman
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 27, 2016 at 7:33 pm

Categories: Television Reviews   Tags: , , , , ,

Shin Godzilla (Review)

March of Godzilla Godman

Shin Godzilla

aka シン・ゴジラ aka Godzilla Resurgence
Shin Godzilla
2016
Written by Hideaki Anno
Directed by Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi

New facial cleanses have gotten out of control!

Godzilla was on one of his occasional breaks after his Final War while the US developed their own Godzilla franchise. But after that monster hit, Godzilla reawoke in Japan to return with a spiritual successor to the original Gojira that is also one of the most successful films in Japan. Godzilla is back as a force of nature, the appearance and response directly referencing the Japanese Fukushima earthquake/nuclear disaster. Much of the film is spent in a West Wing style series of high level government meetings, in which entrenched minsters and officials do little of consequence in order to avoid looking bad if their actions don’t have the desired effect. While that sounds like it could be terrible, it’s actually really good, the scenes are cut quickly and innovatively to keep things moving briskly along while still giving you the feeling that the characters were in long unproductive meetings.

Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi were given free reign to tell their story, the pair having collaborated on Evangelion, with Anno subsequently directing cult live action films such as Cutie Honey and Higuchi doing effects work on the Gamera trilogy and directing the Attack on Titan features. Their strong pedigree promised that we would get something unique and entertaining, and the pair delivered with a strong entry.

The effects are a bit mixed, the final form of Godzilla is well done, but the earlier forms look goofy and some effects with them seem more rushed. While most of the music is new, there is some nice Akira Ifukube put in at the right time, with tanks driving around and blasting away that helped made the scene come together, you won’t care that everything is now CG instead of models and a guy in a suit. It really is modern mixed with the past, besides the retro tank fight, we have unmanned drones attacking Big G at one point, and the final sequence has a bunch of industrial and civilian vehicles that make up the heart of Japan’s economic might being used to save Japan.
Shin Godzilla
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 25, 2016 at 8:16 am

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It Came From Halloween Tumblr

Time for some more gifs I ganked from Tumblr, because that’s some easy content, baby! As usual, we will link to sources if we can, but I won’t link if I have no idea where it came from or if it is something that obviously isn’t from where I found it. Don’t forget to follow Our Exciting Tumblr, which is occasionally even active!

Betty Boop's Halloween Party
via mothgirlwings

McNuggets Halloween Dracula
Everyone loves the McNuggets, now in Dracula form! Gif made from this lovely vintage commercial

Batgirl Yvonne Craig Halloween
Even Batgirl likes Halloween!

Mars Pennsylvania postcard costumes BBC
These are Martian costumes used by the BBC for The Vikings Trip to the Planet Mars in 1976. The photograph was taken in Mars, Pennsylvania, and has made its way into pop cultures in things such as postcards.

Luminous Pain
Everyone likes skeletons!
via spicyhorror

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 24, 2016 at 4:11 pm

Categories: Gallery   Tags:

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Dongolar (ゴッドマン対ドンゴラー)

March of Godzilla Godman

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Dongolar

aka ゴッドマン対ドンゴラー その1 – その6 aka Goddoman Tai Dongoraa
Dongolar Godman
Week of January 11 – 17, 1973

I’m not sure how Godman can justify this at all!

Godman continues his killing spree, this time setting his sights on Dongolar. What crimes Dongolar committed, if any, will remain unknown as only the fourth of six episodes were on the DVD set. For more info on Godman, be sure to drop by the Godman Splash Page!

Dongolar isn’t a giant dong, but looks like a giant ginseng plant (or a butt with a carrot nose and eyes!)

Godman is hurting as we join this series, already in progress. He’s still small while the giant Dongolar lords over him. But a kid throws him a frisbee with one of his golden shoe rings, the lack of which was preventing Godman from growing to large size. Maybe keeping track of those things would be important? I’m no expert in kaiju fighting, except for the fact that I am.

Godman grows big, Dongolar helpfully falling down so he can be more easily beaten up. It’s like Dongolar wants to lose or something. They roll around in the sand together, their physical activity looking more like lovers embracing than enemies grappling to the death. Seriously, this show is the most sexual of monster shows. Luckily we tsuzuku away before things get X-rated! March of Godzilla 2015 will return with more Godman, because his crimes must be exposed to a new generation!
Dongolar Godman
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 20, 2016 at 8:17 am

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Go! Godman: Godman vs. Folgon (ゴッドマン対 フォルゴン)

March of Godzilla Godman

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Kamoebas and Folgon

aka ゴッドマン対カメーバ・フォルゴン その1 – その6 aka Goddoman Tai Kameeba – Forugon
Fulgon Godman
Week of December 7 – 13, 1972

Karate chop! Karate chop! Karate CHOP!

Folgon looks like a red kappa beaked dinosaur with messy short hair on the top of his head that runs partially down the back until it turns into spines, and tiny pupils that don’t focus on a center point. He squeaks like a baby sea bird from an immobile mouth. Folgon is some sort of bird lizard thing, with claws and a tail. Kids love lizard birds!

He and Godman eye each other for a bit before they start shoving each other. What are they, little children? Having lost the shoving war, Godman fires his explosive fist smoke at Folgon. Folgon dances a bit like he’s on a hot tin roof before Godman and Folgon then fly to rocky bluff right next to the perfectly good rocky bluff they were already fighting on.

Folgon shoves Godman around some more, and gets on top of him, holding him down. We thankfully tsuzuku before things get R-rated..

Episode 2 begins with more goofy fighting, Godman is starting to get the upper hand. But don’t get the upper hand too quickly, Godman, there is still another episode to go and we’re all out of monster costumes this week! At one point they both again fly to a clearly identical rocky location that is probably the exact same spot in the set!

Folgon falls atop Godman and the two embrace, lovingly pawing at each other as we jump to tsuzuku. Geez, these two can’t keep their hands off each other! It’s like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie while filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith!

Part 3 begins with them back standing and pushing at each other some more, Folgon once again somehow being the better shover and Godman losing the battle again. Godman can’t shove for crap! Eventually Godman flying kicks Folgon and he falls over, Godman gets on top and slaps and slaps and slaps and karates and slaps and karates Folgon on the face over and over and over again. Eventually Folgon just explodes from being slapped and karated in the face some much. Seriously, he does! Folgon is murdered, and Godman flies away in search of more monsters to kill!!!

March of Godzilla: Godman will continue with more murderous monster mayhem, and for more Godman, check out the Godman Splash Page!
Fulgon Godman
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 13, 2016 at 8:52 am

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Go! Godman: Godman vs. Kamoebas (ゴッドマン対カメーバ)

March of Godzilla Godman

Go! Godman: Godman vs. Kamoebas and Folgon

aka ゴッドマン対カメーバ・フォルゴン その1 – その6 aka Goddoman Tai Kameeba – Forugon
Kamoebas Godman
Week of December 7 – 13, 1972

This Ninja Turtles reboot sucks…

Godman continues to work his way through all the suits Toho had lying around, and some new suits that were made out of what Toho found at the Goodwill store. March of Godzilla: Godman is proud to present this brief synopsis of the one episode of this story arc that made it to DVD! This week, Godman fights a classic Toho creature, Kamoebas (aka Kameba), from Space Amoeba. Godman also fights Folgon, but he’s just a monster Toho made up for the show, and isn’t even in this episode on the DVD. But we’re all about going above and beyond, so we’ve tracked down this entire story arc to present to you, the people who won’t be reading it and will just look at the photos! If you need a Godman primer, feel free to stop by the Godman Splash Page!

Kamoebas is a turtle, and he does what turtles do, which is stand still and use their shell for defense.

A old couple sees a monster at the beach – it’s Kamoebas! GODMAAAN!!!

Beep beep, back the truck up! Why is Godman being called…by old people? It’s demonstrated in every other episode that children call Godman, there is even an episode where the adults have to have the children call for Godman! So why do these old people get to call Godman? Is there a larger definition of the Godman worshipers beyond children? Is it the children and the elderly? Because I could see that happening. Two groups on extreme ages, working together to call a fighting man from the sky. It’s just weird enough to keep you up at night.

Godman creeps over and sees Kamoebas is just standing there, minding his own business, so Godman bravely attacks!

Kamoebas just stands there. Godman totally punches first. Also second! Then he almost falls over. Godman feels this is somehow an attack by Kamoebas, so now he feels justified in self-defense. It’s interesting to see Godman was the guy who wrote the stand your ground laws.
Kamoebas Godman
Godman fights and fights Kamoebas, who barely seems to notice as Godman hurts himself on Kamoebas’ shell. Godman stares at Kamoebas as the episodes jumps to tsuzuku. Now that’s a darn weird ending. But as Folgon is another monster Godman fights that week, maybe Folgon is behind Kamoebas standing still on the shore. This mystery would have had to remain until the rest of the show was located had I just used the one episode on the DVD….

But…

Thanks to the magic of the internet, I found the rest of this episode! Never has the magic of the internet backfired in such fashion as to force me to watch more Godman. Well, except for all that other horrible stuff on the internet. You know what I’m talking about…

So we jump into episode 2, and Godman is preparing to make turtle soup out of poor Kamoebas.

He hugs Kamoebas and they spin around a bit like they are dancing then soon he is throwing ineffective punches and kicks. Godman pulls out his Godmail Flail, and tries to strangle Kamoebas with it! That’s not how flails work, guy!

Eventually he starts beating Kamoebas on the back of his shell with the flail, knocking off chunks of the turtle shell costume (they focus on this like he’s doing the damage on purpose, but RIP Kamoebas costume that was probably already shedding shell scales!)

Tsuzuku

Godman punches Kamoebas in the back a bit more, then knocks him onto his back and spins him around and around and around and around, then uses his wrist guns to blast Kamoebas in the belly with bullets. Kamoebas slinks back into the sea, regretting getting out of bed and sunning himself on a nice warm rock that morning. Brave Godman, savagely beating up a monster who did nothing, is declaring victory and shouting like a loon.

But another monster is there! He’s like “I’m the real villain, you idiot!” Thus we tsuzuku into… Godman vs. Folgon!!!
Kamoebas Godman
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 6, 2016 at 8:47 am

Categories: Television Reviews   Tags: , , , ,

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