[adrotate banner=”1″]That’s right, the Shatner jokes are right off the bat, because this RiffTrax will be filled to the brim with them! The newest RiffTrax VOD is Kingdom of the Spiders, and it’s one I’ve actually seen, but long ago back in the days of watching films on the local UHF station! So long ago I barely remember anything except it was weird and Captain Kirk never met up with Mr. Spock, which annoyed me as a child who was unaware that actors played roles and not themselves. And by child, I mean last week… Damn you, Kirk!
Captain Kirk. T.J. Hooker. Twilight Zone plane guy. Johnny Legal (presumably his name on Boston Legal, didn’t bother to check).The Dad Who Says Sh*t. All great characters, sure, but William Shatner will always be best known for one role, and one role alone: RACK. Rural veterinary doctor Robert “Rack” Hansen, of course, he of the inexplicable nickname, fondness for cowboy hats, and habit of hitting on his brother’s widow by saying he’d like to “milk her.” A lesser man would’ve stopped with Rack, his legacy complete. Such a great, internationally beloved part, it’s a testament to Shatner’s skill as an actor that he’s escaped its shadow, the Kingdom of the Spiders conventions and catchphrases and reboots, and become known for more than just Rack. RACK. Rack. No seriously, he has people call him Rack and he thinks he’s a sexy cowboy. Rack.
Animals and people are dying of spider venom in Rack’s sleepy Arizona town, and when he and a foxy out-of-towner discover a gigantic hill of venomous spiders on a local farm they somehow don’t immediately make the connection, burn it down, and end the movie. What unfolds is a creeping, ridiculous, town-destroying horror, packed with more real live tarantulas than the basement home of that spooky pale guy who sold drugs outside your high school.
Rack up, put on your spider-stompiest shoes, and join Mike, Bill, and Kevin in the Kingdom of the Spiders!
And if you feel the need for some shorts, the exciting drunk driving scare film The Day I Died will keep you from drunk driving ever, because you’ll kill yourself!