Thanks to the commute time of work eating up two hours a day (that’s ten hours a week!) for at least the next few months, movie news is going to suffer. Thus, out from that comes larger news bites posts instead of individual posts for every bit of news that comes along. We shall still be selecting news via the patented TarsTarkas.NET selection method: whatever the heck we want to until we get bored or distracted.

So let’s bring on the movie news!

Hot Tub Time Machine looks like it will be awesome. The trailer embedded below is the safe for work trailer, but you should probably also check out the NSFW trailer somewhere.

Big Money Rustlas is not just a juggalo movie, it’s a prequel to a juggalo movie! It will be absolutely awful. Kill your children if you like this film.

What fighting video game franchises are left that don’t have terrible movies made of them yet? Tekken gets scratched off the list, making me hope the Primal Rage movie will be out by the end of the decade. Isn’t there supposed to be a giant bear in Tekken?

Speaking of crappy fighting video game movies, Mortal Kombat will get another film. This is where I would make a joke about someone needing to put a fatality on this film franchise if that joke wasn’t way too obvious.

Hong Kong is coming out with four (!) competing films about Guan Yu. We have the Benny Chan directed Louis Koo vehicle Legend of Military God, Yang Zi’s Military Saint Yun Chang, Liu Heng’s Guan Gong, and Guan Yun Chang, which may star Donnie Yen if he accepts. Wait until 2011 when Hong Kong will produce 12 biopics of Yan Wang just because they can.

Finally, for all you monster fans, SyFy (sigh…) is having a contest to Name That SyFy Movie! Obviously this movie about Demons in the Holy Land needs to be named Sasquatch vs. Crocodile.