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Timur Bekmambetov’s Squirrels has a sales trailer and poster


A trailer made to scare up funding for Timur Bekmambetov’s horror comedy Squirrels has been released, and it promises the furry creatures devouring innocent people and feasting on their flesh. Like squirrels do all the time. Squirrels are evil creatures, are you not aware that they’ve tried to take down the economy on multiple occasions? We’ve invaded countries for less than that.

I know what you’re up to, squirrels!

As the tag line says, “Hold on to your nuts!”

Timur Bekmambetov is just producing, with Daniel Antoniazzi and Ben Shiffrin writing the script. No other information is available at this time. It is assumed that Squirrels will follow the formula of many other horror comedies featuring unexpected invading animals, but who knows what strange and wonderful directions we can go.

via Variety

Squirrels movie Poster

Prepare to get your Lincoln on this year…

Yes, folks, there are at least three (3) Lincoln movies coming your way in 2012, and two of them involve Lincoln fighting various monsters in history mashup genre bending tales of what if history. Or just dumb stories about Lincoln killing things. Either way, the movies are coming, and you’ll just have to deal with them!

First up is Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, based on Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel. Seth Grahame-Smith is the guy who started those awful mashup books that mix public domain stories with werewolves and zombies and crap. Soon everyone rushed to make a cheap buck, and now the bookstore shelves are littered with this garbage, making it harder to find novels about space babes kicking butt. I mean, harder to find William Shakespeare books. Yeah, that’s it! So Lincoln had a secret journal where he killed vampires, and vampires caused the Civil War and are responsible for slavery! Timur Bekmambetov directs, and Benjamin Walker, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, Jimmi Simpson, Dominic Cooper, and Alan Tudyk star.

Not to be outdone, the Asylum has their own Lincoln killing things movie: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies!

Just check out this poster:
Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

And also there’s a boring true life biography of Lincoln coming out, called Lincoln. Steven Spielberg directs it and Daniel Day-Lewis is Lincoln. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jared Harris, Tommy Lee Jones, Jackie Earle Haley, James Spader, and Sally Field also star. It will probably be good and get Oscar noms. If you’re into that sort of stuff.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter movie greenlit

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a book in one of those dumb book genres I’m too bitter to care about, and now it is a $70 million 3D film that studios were actually in a bidding war over. That’s why movies suck now. Tim Burton is in producing (his recent take on the 3D Alice in Wonderland movie might be why studios are throwing money at him) and directed by the Russian dude Timur Bekmambetov, who did Night Watch and Day Watch. And also Wanted. I honestly can’t see this doing well at all, but, as I said before, I’m totally bitter. I’m calling this film to Scott Pilgrim now, there is no way it should cost $70 million, and I can’t see the overseas market caring about Abe Lincoln.