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The Dredges of the Tea Party

One horrible thing that tea lovers like me have had to deal with in 2009 was a bunch of idiots having “tea parties” and teabagging each other because they are crybaby losers. It’s almost enough to make me spit out my earl grey in disgust and break out the lattes. Not really, as I don’t drink earl grey, it’s all about the fancy smoky black leaf Sudanese blend I got from the tea store that closed recently, but regardless, the Tea Party Movement is a fractured mess of astroturfing, grassroots snakes, GOP pandering, and lobbyist takeovers.

There is a lot of in-fighting and rival groups within the teabaggers. HuffPost has a good overview of the various major players. One such player is the Tea Party Express, who you might remember as the dingbats on the bus who were traveling the nation and hanging out in Wal-Mart parking lots so angry old white people could yell. Now the Tea Party Express have done the grassroots thing and spent $1600 for dinner for 6. That’s your Real Patriots right there, ripping off their fellow man for steak that better be panda for that price. They’ve also managed to give almost half of the $2 million they raised this year($857,000) to consulting firm Russo Marsh or people connected to it. So dig deep, teabaggers, consulting firms need your moolah to buy more panda steaks! BTW, Grassfire.org help sponsors the Tea Party Express, and they employ the Shirley & Banister Public Affairs PR firm as well as front the astroturf group Resistnet.com, who you may have heard of on TarsTarkas.NET at some point…

On a final note, you can watch this abomination: Tea Party: The Documentary Film.

I know we review bad movies on TarsTarkas.NET, but I haven’t found a way to watch it without giving them money yet.

Just wait until the Alice in Wonderland film gets released and the teabaggers hijack the Mad Hatter images like they’ve hijack the Joker Obama photoshop. Ah, teabaggers, so predictable, so baggable…

Teabaggers Are Monsters

And not the cool kind that destroy cities with radioactive breath. Real life monsters.

Low Tea Party moment symbolic of muddy week

As a journalist covering Chicago politics, verifying information is like climbing a mountain of sand. With each step you take, the deeper you sink.

Last week while researching claims from a local Tea Party activist, I found myself asking a family for proof that they had lost an unborn grandchild.

The family, Dan and Midge Hough, of Chicago, spoke in favor of health care reform and in support of U.S. Rep. Dan Lipinski (D-3rd) at a Nov. 14 town hall meeting in Oak Lawn.

Their daughter-in-law, Jenny, and an unborn grandchild died recently due in part, they believe, to a lack of health insurance. They said Jenny was not receiving regular prenatal care and ended up in an emergency room with double pneumonia that developed into septic shock. Her baby died in the womb, and Jenny died a few weeks later, leaving behind a husband and a 2-year-old daughter.

Catherina Wojtowicz, of Chicago’s Mount Greenwood community, an organizer for a Tea Party splinter group, Chicago Tea Party Patriots, falsely claimed that the Houghs fabricated their story. In an e-mail, she called them operatives of President Barack Obama who “go from event to event and (cry) the same story.”

When the Houghs spoke at the Lipinski event, some Tea Partiers ridiculed them. They moaned and rolled their eyes and interrupted. Midge Hough began to cry.

The audience, Wojtowicz later explained, was exasperated by stories of isolated tragedies that cloud debate over the health care bill itself.

“What we are talking about is the bill,” she said. “We’ve all had family members pass away, but would this health care bill really have prevented (Jenny’s) death? We do question it.”

It certainly was a low mark in a very dark week. What could be more illustrative of our state’s political marshland than openly mocking a grieving family?

“I’m very sorry about the whole lack of dialogue,” Wojtowicz said. “My reaction to Midge? I don’t know what to say.”

Neither do I.

EDIT: FreeRepublic has figured it out! They are all Gypsies!
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Wingnut Web – Birther's self-fufilling prophecy

Ever had a boss you didn’t exactly like? Maybe he’s a little arrogant or asks you to work on Saturdays sometimes, but the guy still pays you for your work at the end of the day (this is what’s called a contract). Despite your differences, however, you learn to coexist in the same work environment and will end up working together to further the business at your office. It’s called “getting along” and it ensures, for the most part, that you’ll remain employed by the company and will continue to prosper with your salary and won’t get fired for refusing to do your work or something silly like that.

Now imagine you’re a crazed rabid fringe member and you doubt the eligibility of your boss to be your boss because you’re so sure that he’s not actually a United States citizen but instead some refugee Kenyan from Africa. Your obviously Kenyan boss (he’s black, right?) has made life at the office difficult for you for many reasons, one of which is he’s backed the passing of a few rules at the office which don’t directly affect you, but you’re still very upset with them for one crazy reason or another. As an employee who feels let down by the company, jaded by the status and personality of your boss (let’s call him Barack), you take some rational steps to remedy the situation. The first obvious step, as any birther fringe person will tell you, is to just stop showing up for work!

Wait, what?

Will not comply

So, you’re a wacko fringer whose deathly afraid of imaginary conspiracies that entail rounding up Americans into internment camps, having their guns taken away, poisoning them with flu vaccines, and doing other unspeakable horrors all in the name of our first non-white president. At the least, you’re concerned about government agents coming out to question you and maybe even the possibility of getting arrested for your actions, so why in God’s name would you choose to put yourself in a position where both these things are VERY REAL POSSIBILITIES?

Obviously these Wingnut fringe idiots lost all notion of what a “law” is when President Obama was sworn into office. Just as if you stop showing up to work because you don’t like your boss, if you decide to stop following basic laws there will be severe repercussions. You can’t object to getting arrested because you believe the President of the United States is a devil usurper of the Oval Office, the police hear enough of that kind of dumbass ranting and raving when they arrest mentally unstable people. And of course, when the police come to arrest you it was most certainly President Obama who personally saw to it and dispatched the police officers or FBI to your door. It didn’t have anything to do with you acting like a damn idiot.

Is this really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the lunatic birther fringe community? They bitch and moan about how the government could foreseeably enact all of these un-Constitutional policies, policies that would never pass the House let alone the Senate, and then when they turn around and realize that the government still isn’t persecuting them they get riled up and announce they’re just going to stop following established laws. The last time I checked it is STILL against the law to break the law, and regardless of your position, you’re STILL going to be treated like a criminal if you break the law.

It’s just some of the most common sense I can muster, how the laws and getting arrested works and all, but as it turns out you still can’t explain common sense to some gun-humping, president-hating,  extra-chromosome having morons.

Wingnut Web – What happened to being Good Christians?

Us Americans can never be satisfied.

So September 11th happened in 2001 and after an entire day of fear and uncertainty (I went through it, I should know! It was scary!) our country did what it used to do best. Despite any and all of our differences and disregarding any areas of thought where we all might disagree, Americans came together in a unified show of support and love for one another after that attack, support and love for their fellow neighbour, for their friends and family, and finally for the greatest country on the face of this Earth, The United States of America (cue wailing guitars shooting out stars and stripes and then exploding into a flock of Bald Eagles).

Back on September 12th, 2009 Glenn Beck’s 9/12 Project march was held in Washington, D.C with, among other expressed goals, to return the country back to the unstable emotional grounds we all experience after being suddenly attacked by terrorists. The march sure encapsulated the “unstable emotional grounds” part of the metaphor, one could also say like our country’s response to 9/11 the 9/12 march lacked any kind of clearly defined purpose or identifiable strategic outcome, but I also understood this idea of harkening back to the dark days after September 11th to mean that as a people who might not otherwise unite around every issue every day, us Americans can simply come together and we should come together around the fact that we are all citizens of the same country, a large group who can do more good if we work together than if we stay seperate and bicker amongst ourselves.

“United we stand” was the motto of the day, wasn’t it? Maybe times were different back then because we had our 43rd old white male Christian president sitting in the Oval Office of the White House, but the same God-loving Americans who just a few short years ago wanted the whole of the country to come together and celebrate the greatness of the United States and it’s overwhelming ability to confront crises head-on and create working solutions to deal with our toughest problems now would rather see the country cleaved into two very separate unions and have our leaders, especially the President, maimed, deported, killed, raped, impeached, or otherwise have his good name sullied.

I don’t like to play cards necessarily (No Limit Hold’em is fun though), but there is a glaring similarity through-out the different factions of the far-Right Anti-Obama movement, and not only does the theme seem to follow along the lines of religion but more specifically it falls along the lines of a particular sects of Christians. Pointing the finger isn’t the point of this post, though it’s obvious enough to see who we’re talking about from all the coverage they’ve been garnering on TV anyway (hint: it rhymes with Smevengelical), but as a non-Christian who has seen some of the amazing and wonderful things that religion can do to help bring groups of total strangers together in love and unity I would really like to know why and how many of these Born-Again believers can continue to call themselves loving Christians without fear of breaking the Commandment of bearing false witness and incuring the wrath of God upon their hides.

As far as I know, Christianity is a religion based on a couple of primary documents that contain all the tenants that good Christians have to follow in order to be accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven. In short, these tenants more or less direct followers to first accept God/Jesus/Holy Spirit/whoever into their lives, as a guiding force in their decision making and outlook on the world, and then thereafter they are instructed to live good friendly lives where they don’t steal from one another, murder one another, lie to one another, commit adultery with one another, and just generally have a basic human respect for every one of God’s creations whether it be someone who holds different ideals, a stranger from a foreign land, or even an adorable little puppy dog they find on the side of the road. Jesus Christ, according to the stories, was a pretty nice guy at the end of the day, but I doubt he’d be all about the ways in which many of his followers who bear his name are promoting their religion these days.

Pastor Steve Anderson

First off we have Pastor Steven Anderson, a Baptist, from Arizona who prays daily for our first African-American president, who was rightly elected by the American people, to be struck down and killed by the hand of God in his sermons to his congregation:

Now, look, if somebody wants me, it somebody twisted my arm and tells me to pray for Barack Obama, this is what I’m going to pray, because this is the only prayer that applies to him: ‘Break his teeth, O God, in his mouth. You know, as a snail which melteth, let him pass away. Like the untimely birth of a woman, that he thinks — he calls it a woman’s right to choose, you know, he thinks it’s so wonderful. He ought to be aborted. It ought to be, ‘Abort Obama.’

Nope. I’m not gonna pray for his good. I’m going to pray that he dies and goes to hell. When I go to bed tonight, that’s what I’m going to pray. And you say, ‘Are you just saying that?’ No. When I go to bed tonight, Steven L. Anderson is going to pray for Barack Obama to die and go to hell.

The good pastor has gotten a lot of attention over his comments the past few months, comments which not only incite congregates to want to murder President Obama but comments which also come from a man of God, who if he really is a man of God would clearly know more about the tenants of his own religion. Even if he is defiant in his beliefs and prays to God for the death of Obama wouldn’t it occur to him that God doesn’t condone murder in the first place? He dictated those 10 Commandments word for word to Moses right? Is this like the Constitution where we have the original words written by the primary framers but insist that God or the Founding Fathers actually meant B when they wrote A? Clearly there is something very wrong with a preacher, not only preaching for the death of someone, but preaching for the death of the highest ranking person in the country! I don’t remember ever hearing about Christians preaching for the death of any of the previous 43 presidents.

Then you have the congregates who echo the these Wingnut preachers’ sentiments. No one ever said it was wrong to disagree with the President or that you’re a bad person if you don’t support Obama, that right there is critical thinking and critical thinking is an important component to any right-thinking person. Then again, those who believe in a strict factual interpretation of The Bible and who are blindly led by those of their faith were never much for critical thinking in the first place. This is why when a fellow Christian or a church pastor invokes rhetoric like “Obama is a Socialism” or  “Obama wants to force you to get abortions” or “Obama is the Anti-Christ” (a charge so widely believed that Snopes.com had to deticate an article to it) these people take those claims seriously and verbatim, repeating them and repeating them until they believe there’s just no way these claims can be false. Stubborn non-wavering belief is a funny thing like that.

Granted, this is a very small portion of the country I believe. We are a country of 304 million, and considering in their HIGHEST estimate the 9/12 protest was almost 2 million strong (more like 29 times less than that number but let’s keep the judgement fair for now) you still can’t really call that a majority in the United States, and let’s face it, everybody who is anybody in the fringe community attended that dang 9/12 protest. But a believer is a believer, and besides being told the message from up on high every Sunday, there is little to nothing rational human beings can do to change these people’s minds. I’ll even put it in terms they like to fashion their arguments with: A group called THE NAZIS also expressed  non-waivering faith to their leaders that defied all logic or bounds too, but they followed through anyway because that’s what they had been instructed to do by the people around them. No, I am not seriously saying that Christians are like the Nazis, I’m merely just talking about the ones who make up this small little fringe community that likes to post on messageboards alot (Hi guys!).

In my mind I really want to believe that it’s one thing to talk about the Westborough Babtist Church in-terms of level of deeply-seeded hatred of fellow human beings and size and talking about the Patriot Teabagging movement, but unfortunately there are a lot of similarities that follow through (namely that there are other generic groups of people living among them that they blame everything on, want to exterminate, and will never come to accept in society ever and their small sizes!). Finally, I don’t want to have to believe that I need to draw this point out any more that I already have in the above. Faith preaches kindness but preachers dictate something entirely different, out of their own interests, and isn’t that like bearing false witness in the end?

Wingnut Web – Still More Teabagging Pictures?!?!

Yes, I was sitting on a few more teabagging pictures from weeks ago that I never got around to riffing, but now is the time to riff! And riff we will, because these knuckleheads deserve it. The amount of stupid is less because I was running low on crazy pictures, but having gone through the trouble of uploading these, I might as well use them!

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Those freakin’ DemonRATS! I think I fought them in Might and Magic IV…

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Why have one stupid sign when you can have two?

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The guy who lives outside the 7-11 has come to protest!

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Obama bombs all babies!

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The proudest piece of POOP you will ever see!

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Spellcheck wasn’t invented in 1984!

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Keeping us In Fromed Reality

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He looks totally mad

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Live, from the Pyramid with the floating eye, Crazy Lady #23851!

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It was diculous the first time, and then was diculous again!

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Totally not racist.

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Sometimes you just have to admit that your poster-making skills suck.

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The secret part is this guy is a zookeeper.

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Steve Forbes??? We got a time-traveler from 1992 here!

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Future killer of three census workers.

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That spelling is what is awEful

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Yeah, no amnesty for taxes!

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I weep at the loss of $0.50 of teabags

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Resistnet.com’s only black member!

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Little Jimmy doesn’t even know what the FED is, but mom promised ice cream…

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Descent is a cool computer game, but I don’t think it is the most patriotic thing ever

That’s it for the teabagging pictures, until maybe July 4th if they bother to get anything together by then. I am sure the astroturfers will come up with something assuming they all haven’t jumped ship to the Democrats by then.

Wingnut Web – Foxnation Lies, CNN Reporter Dies Edition

CNN reporter Susan Roesgen was covering the TeaBagging Party in Chicago (OMG, you mean the mainstream media covered this??? but Glen Beck said they wouldn’t dare!) and met up with some wacky idiots who couldn’t answer simple questions of why they were mad except “because”! FoxNews becomes upset that other networks are making fun of their manufactured protests and decides to fight back. So they airs an edited version mysteriously missing one of the chief weirdos to show how other channels are slandering their precious protests!

The full, unedited video:

The edited video shown on FoxNews:

If you want to hear the event from a different angle as well as the crowd reaction right afterwards, check out this audio sample recorded by Chexmix (right click, save as!):
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Even better than that, they turn the CNN incident into an article on thefoxnation.com (aka foxnation.com ):
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Notice how the title of the article seems to not jibe with the title of the YouTube video! It is like opposite day. Almost as if they are lying and falsely stimulating the persecution complex that has hit the Right Wing like smallpox since November. Now worries, they then fixed the title of the YouTube video with a simple switching of the copy they embeded!:
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Thus, now they have completely covered their lying tracks.
FoxNews – Jerks!


But this can’t be Wingnut Web without the snark, so let’s see what the good citizens of thefoxnation.com think of CNN and reporter Susan Roesgen!

Wah, the media asks us questions!
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Never mind those facts about how 95% of America got tax cuts, this thing I am making up about John McCain proves my point that we will all be paying 1 million% taxes!
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Asking a question=being a bitch!
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Shady, underhanded, unfair, unpatriotic tactics of asking a question! Those monsters!
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The reporter is ugly, thus I don’t care. Now let me put on Rush, who is so handsome!
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Yank her reporter’s license!
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antikos is an expert on PMS
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How dare reporters ask questions? Fire her immediately!
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Susan Roesgen=Kermit the Frog
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This guy somehow has access to CNN’s bank accounts, maybe that should be investigated…
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The 1954 in Craig 1954 is how many things he hates each minute
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Yeah, why would these protests on Tax Day have anything to do with taxes?
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I PREY for FREEDOME!
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Sue is unaware of how tax dollars work, no wonder she teabags everything!
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Sue shows again why she is a winner. Did I say “winner?” I meant “whiner!”
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Oh, I think you’ll take it…
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Obama controls all media! Take that, Jews!
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TEA TO$$ER is what you get when you combine Teabagging with Salad Tossing
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Oh, no, some guy from Kentucky has me surrounded!
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Jim spends every hour jerking it to the women of FoxNews (also Glenn Beck)
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Larry King has been elected as Presidente of Costa Rica!
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Forgive this poster, they lost most of their brain drinking radiator fluid
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Dumb people are still dumb. And we still have fun laughing at them! Hooray! Until next time, Wingnut Web is out. Check out photos of the Teabagging protest here.