Teenage Caveman

2002
Starring
Andrew Keegan as David
Tara Subkoff as Sarah
Richard Hillman as Neil
Tiffany Limos as Judith
Stephen Jasso as Vincent
Directed by Larry Clark

Larry Clark’s perv-tastic remake of the MST3K fodder original Teenage Caveman does what would be once thought impossible: Makes the original look better. Sure, it’s almost a given that remakes are inferior, but in this case the original was made in what seems like three hours, filming people wandering around a park. This one had a budget that would get you more than a used car, yet it still falls apart. Larry Clark is not known for making science fiction, or horror, or even anything that isn’t depressing films based on teenage kids swearing, doing drugs, and having sex. Why he became the natural choice for Teenage Caveman must be simply no one else was available. Instantly, the movie becomes a Larry Clark-type movie. The teenagers leave and instead of slowly getting killed off by dinosaurs or similar monster, they meet some modern kids in an abandoned city, and start up some sex, drugs, and rock and roll.