Bratz Diamondz
aka Bratz: Passion 4 Fashion Diamondz
2006
Directed by The Devil Himself!
The Bratz toy line is the worst toy line to hit the shelves in the history of girl’s toys. I do not make this statement lightly. Bratz are accurately criticized for sending the wrong message to young girls, and that message is “become a materialistic bitch who dresses like a whore.” You see, these women have a passion, for fashion! Fashion seems to be wearing midriff-bearing clothing, while your face makes you look like an Anime schoolgirl who was attacked by a collagen injector on their lips. The Bratz line has one good point, it makes all the people who waste time attacking Barbie for giving girls the wrong message look like idiots. Barbie at least got elected president, was a doctor, a veterinarian, and an astronaut. That’s like 40 years of school training she finished by age 35. Barbie even got more realistic proportions a few years ago. Bratz have done nothing but put on fashion shows and sing in a terrible band. Bratz dolls are proportioned like the spawns of the devil, with their oversized head so large it should crush their micro-pixie bodies. I’ve meet female gymnasts with more defined curves.
Bratz toys include such brains-destroying lines as Bratz, Bratz Kidz, Bratz Babyz, Lil Bratz, Itsy Bitsy Bratz, Bratz Boyz, and Bratz Petz. Bratz Babyz had their own thongs until public pressure had them converted to full-covered panties. Don’t forget to give your Bratz Baby her own “Brattoo” at the Brattoo Parlor playset. I hear tramp stamps are popular on swingsets these days. Bratz have also spawned their own television show, and several direct to DVD movies. Bratz Rock Angelz and Bratz Genie Magic will also be rotting on your local video store shelf, along with the abomination called Bratz Babyz. Recently released is Bratz Fashion Pixiez, and soon a live action Bratz film. For those of you who hate Bratz like I do, remember that the factory workers in China who create the dolls make a whopping $0.17 an hour during their 94 ½ hour weeks. It seems the Bratz creators have a Passion 4 Exploitation. The MGA company (the makers of Bratz) denies that story,
Another nail in the coffin of this movie is the fact that I can’t figure out what exactly its name is supposed to be. Bratz Diamondz seems to be the name, but the DVD cover and almost all references to it has “Passion 4 Fashion” crammed into the middle of it. In addition, the plot line revolves around some sort of reality show, where a British character named Byron Powell hosts. I can’t imagine who he could be based on. The Bratz girls compete against the girls of Your Thing, a rival fashion magazine to the Bratz fashion magazine. Yeah, like any of these girls can write their name, let alone a magazine article. The plot alone gets dumber and crazier as we go on, which we will be there every step of the way. Why? At this point I no longer know. Bratz has destroyed much of my mind. Thank goodness I stayed away from the Bratz Babyz movie, or I would have been killed.