RiffTrax returns in tiny form with the new VOD, Attack of the Puppet People! Darn those puppet people and their constant attacks! Where is Jim Henson when you need him? So Attack of the Puppet People is a classic B-movie I saw long ago as a tiny person myself, though I was a child and not an adult shrunken down by a madman. It’s pretty much a big ball of corn, and will make a hilarious RiffTrax, which means it’s going to get bumped up on my list of RiffTrax VODs I need to get around to seeing someday. If you have free time because you aren’t constantly working/learning programming/writing for your website, grab Attack of the Puppet People today from RiffTrax.com, and let us know how awesome it is!

When a dollmaker’s wife leaves him, which of the following does he do? A) Reflects inward on his failed marriage, seizes the opportunity for self-improvement, starts working out, embraces meditation, and emerges a better man. B) Starts putting away a twelve pack before noon every day, eating week old Chinese takeout, and getting really into English Premier League soccer as a means of ignoring his sorrows. C) Starts shrinking people down into a collection of miniature doll-people for no real reason.

If you guessed C, then congratulations, you’re clearly a madman bent on ill-fated schemes of varying degrees of lunacy. And no you can’t borrow our shrinking ray.

Attack of the Puppet People tells the story of such a madman, and the unfortunate woman who stumbles across his scheme while working as a secretary at his doll factory. That’s right, he makes dolls, and turns people into dolls, and dolls are probably found in a section of the toy store close to puppets, hence: Attack of the Puppet People. There is a puppet show in the movie, but it isn’t a result of the madman. It’s the result of another madman, it supposedly played on Broadway, and you will not believe your eyes when you see it.

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Attack of the Puppet People, classic 60s B movie cheese that is almost as scary as that Roberto Benigni version of Pinocchio!

I see a new RiffTrax VOD is out and I’m like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) at the news! This feature is Sisters of Death, about a sorority initial that goes horribly wrong but also horribly right because it leads to accidental death and then revenge killing. Which means it’s a slasher movie where the protagonist is sort of justified, but not really, and why isn’t the sorority charged with anything? I smell cover up! Those are the people you need to gun down in dark alleys and then say quips to as the steam rises from their fresh wounds, the cold winter air biting at your cheeks. But all the revenge in the world will never bring her back…

I mean, I totally don’t revenge murder people in dark alleys and don’t support it. But I do support RiffTrax, and you should too by buying a copy or gifting a copy or planning to buy a copying in the not too distant future or playing Russian roulette with a copy, because what could go wrong?

A game of russian roulette at a sorority initiation goes tragically awry: one of the guns does not kill the pledge! The other one does. We gather that was supposed to happen. Sisters of Death; it’s right there in the sorority name after all. What were you expecting, a pimp and ho mixer with Delta house?

But it turns out that the father of the girl who dies is a total drama queen about his “daughter” being “murdered” and decides to go all Liam Neeson in Taken on her sorority sisters. Well, not exactly like Liam Neeson in Taken. He doesn’t so much kick butt as he does lure people to a luxury vacation rental where he provides them with free booze and a pool. And he doesn’t issue chilling phone threats about his set of skills as much as he plays the flute. But he has a spider! We think… It may have just been in the house already when he rented it.

When the girls start dropping one by one, they start to realize that maybe accepting money from a complete stranger to get in the car with two other complete strangers (one of whom has a complete distrust of light bulbs) for no specified reason may not have been a wise idea. It’s up to them to find out who’s behind this scheme (the dead girl’s father) and why he wants them all dead (because they killed his dead daughter.)

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill as they pledge Delta Gamma and get initiated into the Sisters of Death!

If announcing Sharknado as a RiffTrax Live is not enough, RiffTrax also dropped a new VOD feature today! Terror at Tenkiller is the story of a guy named Tor who kills people. Shocking, I know. It’s ridiculous and there is terror as the title implies. Or is there? The only way to know for sure is to get a copy of Terror at Tenkiller now from RiffTrax.com!

Follow-up to the rarely seen, totally imaginary films Ennui at Eightkiller and Nausea at Ninekiller, Terror at Tenkiller really brings the goods! And by “the goods” we mostly mean there’s a character named Tor in it. Seriously, at this point the Venn diagram of “movies featuring a character or actor named Tor” and “movies we have riffed” must be approaching a perfect circle. Why does this keep happening? We don’t know, but you can be sure an insane scientist in some B movie is hard at work on the answer, and that his name is Tor!

This particular Tor lives at a lake called Tenkiller, where his hobbies include boat maintenance, wearing upsettingly tiny shorts, and purifying the world of unclean people with murder. Oh, that Tor! He works with Preacher, an old creep whose voice seems to have been dubbed in a bathroom stall by a sleepy hillbilly. When two cute college coeds show up at the lake to get away from an overbearing boyfriend, and the fact that they’re somehow roommates despite a 15 year age difference, it’s time for terror! And phone calls. And long conversations about restaurant management. And naps. And people waking up from naps. And peaceful walks to the dock. But mostly, the first thing! What was it again? Oh yeah, TERROR!

Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and Tor for a relaxing spa murder weekend to Terror at Tenkiller!

The real question is: “How far behind is Tars in the RiffTrax VODs?” Answer: Very! But I like that they’re there for when I do have time in the future. Keep pumping this stuff out so I have lots to watch and love whenever I do have free time!