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Ghost Shark

Ghost Shark

Ghost Shark

Ghost Shark
2013
Written by Eric Forsberg and Griff Furst
Screenplay by Paul A. Birkett
Directed by Griff Furst

Great, another fun toy banned because of some dumb kid…

G-G-G-G-G-G-Ghost Shark???! Yes, it’s true, a murdered shark returns to life via magic, become a spectral terror that haunts all bodies of water, from the ocean to your cup of coffee. Ghost Shark can manifest anywhere there is wet stuff about, allowing for an array of amazing and ridiculous kill scenes. Slip-n-slides, fire hydrants, the rain, and water coolers all become home for the Ghost Shark.

Ghost Shark

Finally a legitimate time to use KFC’s terrible “I ate the bones” slogan complete with a bucket!


Though Ghost Shark was made independently of Sharknado, it premiered soon after, and features many crazy shark antics. Thus, comparisons are inevitable. I liked Ghost Shark slightly better, as I feel the story outside of the crazy shark antics is better. While Sharknado deals with a man trying to protect his family in the midst of chaos, Ghost Shark is a revenge tale where teens deal with a problem the authorities think is too crazy to be real. But we’re in the world of SyFy, baby, and Ghost Sharks are just icing on the cake of carnage.

Ghost Shark features one of the best female leads in a monster movie ever. Mackenzie Rosman’s Ava doesn’t just sit around and get into trouble, she’s actively attempting to solve the problem of the ghost shark that claimed her father’s life, saving her sister, and relegating the male lead to also ran status. Ava gets stuff done. Ava is never in a point where she needs to be “rescued” by the male lead in an attempt to shows that strong women always need a guy around. In fact, Ava actively dismisses Blaise, assigning him to watch over her sister. Blaise fails in so many things that he does do, it’s a wonder he manages to keep Cicely from being eaten (heck, Ghost Shark does eat her…then spits her out!) Ava figures out that there is something supernatural at work, that Finch knows something about Ghost Shark’s secret, that the authority figures in town are dumb as a baby’s bottom, and that if anything is going to get done, it’s going to require her to step up and bust this Ghost Shark! She’s also not victim to some false feminism where she kicks butt, but has to do so in skintight leather or torn outfits. After the initial beach encounter, she ditches the bikini for sensible attire.

Once news came out that Ghost Shark was written and directed by Griff Furst, it became a must watch regardless of the premise. Furst’s films for SyFy (Arachnoquake, Swamp Shark, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators ) are always inventive and fun, filled with crazy scenarios that unfold in ways you don’t expect, and often taking real world issues as inspiration. While ghost carnivores are not a real world issue any place I am familiar with is deal with at this time, places whitewashing their histories and incompetent authority figures are an actual problem.

Ghost Shark

Reverse Pac-Man!


Ava Reid (Mackenzie Rosman) – Teenage buttkicker Ava Reid is the lone force of sanity in the small town of Smallport, dealing with a parade of incompetent adults and less than capable teenagers. Her father is Ghost Sharked, and Ava has to stop the translucent chomping at all cost! Mackenzie Rosman is best known for her role on 7th Heaven.
Blaise Parker (Dave Randolph-Mayhem Davis) – Local dude who is crushing on Ava, despite her apathy to the situation. In normal films, Blaise would become the hero, but in Ghost Shark, he’s delegated to the sidelines and taking orders from Ava, who is too busy saving the day to stop and let Blaise save the day. Dave Davis can be seen in the SyFy flicks Heebie Jeebies and Leprechaun’s Revenge
Cicely Reid (Sloane Coe) – Ava’s sister who shows some of her big sister’s strength but is still young enough Ava tries to keep her out of harm’s way. This is Sloane Coe’s first film.
Finch (Richard Moll) – The drunken light house guy with a dead wife who wanders around town ranting incoherently. Thus he’s not crazy and knows the secret of Ghost Shark! Richard Moll is also in Combat Academy, though he probably does not remember it at all.
Cameron Stahl (Jaren Mitchell) – The son of Smallport mayor Frank Stahl (Lucky Johnson from Arachnoquake), Cameron helps deal with the Ghost Shark situation despite his dad trying to cover it up. Has a jetski. Jaren Mitchell is also in 21 Jump Street
Mick (Shawn C. Phillips) – All groups of friends need a party guy! And Mick is your man. Is not good at getting out of swimming pools quickly. Shawn C. Phillips has been in so many horror films I’m shocked he hasn’t shown up on TarsTarkas.NET yet! So here he is.
Ghost Shark (CGI) – Ghost Shark is a murdered shark back for revenge and then also the fun of eating dozens of random people! There are cool electronic sound as Ghost Shark moves, looking like some sort of Tron Shark. Ghost Shark can materialize in any body of water, even water drops and glasses of water. Ghost Shark!
Ghost Shark

Our dad is dead, his cap is red (with blood) Who we gonna call?

Sanctuary Sleepy Hollow

Invasion Roswell and Ghost Shark and swimming to SyFy Thursdays!

SyFy still has a batch of original movies coming on Thursdays. August 8th brings us the mysterious film Invasion Roswell. We were alerted to Invasion Roswell thanks to an image on twitter of a screener dvd.
Writer Jackson Stewart has said the film is about a pregnant alien dinosaur. No other information is forthcoming because it doesn’t have an imdb page, and I can’t find any information due to the huge huge huge amount of Roswell conspiracy theory sites clogging up Google. But I did learn about Reptillians. Did you know that Reptillians take drugs made from human brain chemicals? This is 100% true, ask your local Reptillian.

August 22 gives us the exciting Ghost Shark, one of our 69 Must See Flicks from The American Film Market. One reason: Griff Furst directs. His SyFy flicks are always a blast. Also, Richard Moll has a role! Huzzah for Night Court!

Synopsis:

Last Fourth of July, teenager Christy Bruce disappeared from a high school beach party. Her severed arm washed ashore a day later. Drunken sea captain Blaise Shaw became a hero to the small seaside community of Harmony after killing the great white shark that was deemed responsible, but the Christy Bruce murder was no shark attack. Blaise turns to ghost hunter Ava Conte, who is skeptical but intrigued by his ghost shark ramblings. With preparations for a massive July 4th celebration rapidly approaching, they soon find themselves embroiled in a conspiracy of sex and murder involving the town’s wealthiest and most powerful citizens. Unprepared to contend with a Ghost Shark that can hunt on land, sea, as well as anywhere there is enough water or rain to sustain its phantom form, Blaise and Ava must uncover the truth about the towns dark past or fall victim to the Ghost Shark.

DreadCentral has a trailer

Ghost Shark

Shouldn’t Ghost Shark be eating Ghost Bikini Babes?

SyFy: a fountain of monster fun!

Combat Academy

Combat Academy (Review)

Combat Academy

aka Combat High

1986
Starring
Keith Gordon as Max Mendelsson
Wally Ward as Perry Barnett
George Clooney as Biff Woods

A made for TV movie from 1986 styled after Police Academy, except they forgot the funny. And the Guy who makes noises. Gotta have Michael Winslow. They try to make up for it with lots of guest stars from TV shows at the time. This movie has only seen the light of day on DVD due to George Clooney’s early performance. George Clooney’s past is our misfortune. Read on, you apes, you wanna live forever?