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Wingnut Web – Birther's self-fufilling prophecy

Ever had a boss you didn’t exactly like? Maybe he’s a little arrogant or asks you to work on Saturdays sometimes, but the guy still pays you for your work at the end of the day (this is what’s called a contract). Despite your differences, however, you learn to coexist in the same work environment and will end up working together to further the business at your office. It’s called “getting along” and it ensures, for the most part, that you’ll remain employed by the company and will continue to prosper with your salary and won’t get fired for refusing to do your work or something silly like that.

Now imagine you’re a crazed rabid fringe member and you doubt the eligibility of your boss to be your boss because you’re so sure that he’s not actually a United States citizen but instead some refugee Kenyan from Africa. Your obviously Kenyan boss (he’s black, right?) has made life at the office difficult for you for many reasons, one of which is he’s backed the passing of a few rules at the office which don’t directly affect you, but you’re still very upset with them for one crazy reason or another. As an employee who feels let down by the company, jaded by the status and personality of your boss (let’s call him Barack), you take some rational steps to remedy the situation. The first obvious step, as any birther fringe person will tell you, is to just stop showing up for work!

Wait, what?

Will not comply

So, you’re a wacko fringer whose deathly afraid of imaginary conspiracies that entail rounding up Americans into internment camps, having their guns taken away, poisoning them with flu vaccines, and doing other unspeakable horrors all in the name of our first non-white president. At the least, you’re concerned about government agents coming out to question you and maybe even the possibility of getting arrested for your actions, so why in God’s name would you choose to put yourself in a position where both these things are VERY REAL POSSIBILITIES?

Obviously these Wingnut fringe idiots lost all notion of what a “law” is when President Obama was sworn into office. Just as if you stop showing up to work because you don’t like your boss, if you decide to stop following basic laws there will be severe repercussions. You can’t object to getting arrested because you believe the President of the United States is a devil usurper of the Oval Office, the police hear enough of that kind of dumbass ranting and raving when they arrest mentally unstable people. And of course, when the police come to arrest you it was most certainly President Obama who personally saw to it and dispatched the police officers or FBI to your door. It didn’t have anything to do with you acting like a damn idiot.

Is this really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the lunatic birther fringe community? They bitch and moan about how the government could foreseeably enact all of these un-Constitutional policies, policies that would never pass the House let alone the Senate, and then when they turn around and realize that the government still isn’t persecuting them they get riled up and announce they’re just going to stop following established laws. The last time I checked it is STILL against the law to break the law, and regardless of your position, you’re STILL going to be treated like a criminal if you break the law.

It’s just some of the most common sense I can muster, how the laws and getting arrested works and all, but as it turns out you still can’t explain common sense to some gun-humping, president-hating,  extra-chromosome having morons.

Wingnut Web – Old Money Edition

The last time we checked in on Resistnet.com, a crazy lady was saying things. Wait, that’s every time we check in on Resistnet.com… Now they spoiled the intro! Don’t they know I have to write a whole paragraph here? I’m not made of money! (I’m actually made of sawdust and cinnamon!) Well, Resistnet.com is still resisting…something…by being racists, gun nuts, birthers, insane, and pretty much anything else from the bottom of the barrel of the conservative community. Isn’t PR Astroturf fun? And for the first time, we venture into the Resistnet chatroom to see what the Resistnet community talks about online when they are not talking to Chris Hanson. It isn’t pretty. So enjoy!

Negros, huh?
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dale henderson, secret ResistNet infiltrator!
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The Trilateral Commission, in association with Reverse Vampires, and Barack Muslim Hussein Hitler Obama, are conspiring to destroy Orly Taitz
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Socialism is offices that aren’t crappy and grocery stores giving discount cards. Welcome to USSA.
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Hey, Resistnet doesn’t like it much when you dis Dr. O. Expect to be banned!
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Will the military help Gun Avatar Guy (who has never been in the military) overthrow the “stuff”?
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The military is not living up to the high ideals of Gun Avatar Guy
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The military not saying they are going to kill Obama and overthrow the government proves they are going to kill Obama and overthrow the government, and thus save America!
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The military will totally take orders from some random yahoos with guns. No flaw in this plan at all.
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US out of Iroq!
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Lisa A. Jones thinks the instructions for instant soup are a dictator.
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The perfectly rational Resistnet.com!
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How can you have a Federal Prison when you have arrested the entire government?
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Oh, great, THIS lady.
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Wow, way to justify being a penniless, homeless transient as fighting the power…
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Gun Avatar Guy 2, here is your answer!
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You are about 9 years to late to start hating Bush now, sister!
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Glenn Beck, Icon of Liberalism!
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Thanks for a totally random and meaningless post, Trooper! Do you jack off nightly thinking of your insanely stupid plan to destroy the entire country because you hate CBS?
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Funny, that’s what everyone in Illinois says when they talk about you!
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Let’s see, a racist and a guy who can’t spell complaining about immigrants. That’s Resistnet.com!
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Because liberals are aware of the hundreds of years people referred to Africans as Monkeys, they are the REAL racists!
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Let’s call black guys “Boy”!
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George and Pat Wilkins (pick a name, transsexual!) launch a perfectly good plan to destroy the country the love so much. Oh, wait, they love a totally different country that amazingly enough tried to destroy this country. That is Resistnet.com!
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Government made the Swine Flu! They also made that guy pretend his son was on a balloon.
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Blacks will riot in our crazy impeachment fantasies, giving us just cause to gun down black people all day long!
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Thought I was exaggerating on that last quip? You are so wrong!
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Rep Luis Gutiérrez was born in Illinois and is Puerto Rican, but don’t let facts get in the way of your lies, Guy Who Looks Like A Drunk Donald Sutherland!
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Christian Soldiers practice shooting Government Agents all day long. It is like Jesus said “Suffer the little children, and make the Government Agents suffer! Kill kill kill!” Luke 23:12-13
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This is the bestest idea in the entire world and even the entire galaxy! Even Mario Galaxy!
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Wingnut Web – The Further Adventures of Crazy Edition

One lesson you learn from watching wingnut message boards is the crazy doesn’t stop. It never takes a day off, it never gets sick, it just builds upon itself. Even if life keeps you busy for a few days, the crazy does not slow. And thus, the ultimate example of crazy Susan Herbert is back with more incredibly long rants about her case before the Surpreme Court, how she declared herself president, how God is on her side, and all sorts of stuff that she should be bathering on about in her LiveJournal read by no one. But instead, it’s posted on Resistnet, thus giving her an audience AND an audience that doesn’t immediately brand her as crazy. They welcome her with open arms and assume it is their own fault that her incredibly long posts confuse them. And this is why Resistnet will never be a legitimate rally point for conservatives, they just let the crazy people ramble on and do nothing to try to project sanity in their movement. But don’t take my word that Susan Herbert and the whole of Resistnet is crazy, read Part 1 and Part 2 in addition to Part 3 here…

Dry Land is not a myth! I’ve seen it! But fingerprints…total myth!
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Warning: If you read all of this, you will literally go insane
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You know the deep end? Well, she already went off that, and is now going off the deep end’s deep end.
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I am going to print these out and read them as beat poetry at the local coffee joint!
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I still have my God/Agnew bumper sticker
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I know something I want to Null and Void
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A personal message to Resistnet.com!
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More support!
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I am sure that is the last of this………….NOT!!!!! More Susan eventually, but it is probably time for us to check in on other old friends before we get back to her latest novella-length posts. Next time, on Wingnut Web!

Wingnut Web – Novelty American Flag edition

I believe it was on Resistnet that I first spotted this:

The headline of the post read: NOT A PHOTOSHOP OBAMA ON THE AMERICAN FLAG. What a travesty, right? Our sacred American flag, a banner that represents the United States of America and has been forever tarnished by that Obama Marxist in the White House screwin up our country. Not that the American flag has EVER been appropriated for something other than a high-flying symbol of our nation (forget all the coffee mugs, denim jackets, lapel pins, tee-shirts, bumper stickers, campaign signs, PAC websites, and Presidents Day sale TV commercials). No, our country is too upstanding to let a great symbol like the American Flag be sold as a common commodity.

But I think the best part of this whole flag flap are the conservative news articles about this atrocity and the complete lack of context and information they provide with this so called story. The regurgitated headline repeated through out the Right Wing’s echo chamber of “news” is “Will Media Help Sell the New Obama American Flag?”. First of fucking all, the only place I’ve seen this story has been in the CONSERVATIVE MEDIA OUTLETS.

Put aside the fact that the article failed to mention that the picture of the flag in question is a single custom job that flys proudly (I assume) on the property of a man in Kokomo, IN (I had to browse through six different right wing blogs that linked through each other to find the original story on FreeRepublic). A few of the blogs I came across accused the property owner of being a *gasps* union member and part of the UAW, but no, he is not selling these flags. A few comments from the Freep post turned up a sole eBay member who had a listing up for one such flag, a listing that has since been taken down. But despite the fact that this flag is not a product of the Liberal media, the only people who are talking about it and who fear the media promoting the sale of this flag IS THE CONSERVATIVE MEDIA. It’s enough bile-churning irony to make you want to punch Andrew Breitbart in the face.

But onto another point, this is not the first nor the last time someone is going to take the image of our American flag and put a thing on it. How about you get outraged every time someone comes up with a new design for the stars and bars? How about you get outraged every time you see our sacred American flag get cheapened by being printed on another sweatshirt or shot glass or commemorative spoon? Oh, but no one else has ever hijacked the flag the way Obama supposedly has (this flag by the way Obama was working on personally in his basement, or that’s what the Right would want you to believe). No, no one has ever changed any  part of the American flag before in order to make a quick buck:

Somali pirates are the nefarious people responsible for this version. Or some guy on eBay.

And of course the hippies want their piece of the pie too.

Damn, maybe the hippies have a monopoly on this stuff.

Motorcycle and Eagle America

This one is pretty badass actually. I’ll take 2.

So, dumb-ass Right Wing, atleast be consistent if you’re going to get all whiny when some guy on eBay sells an American Flag novelty. It’s enough to make me want to GET AMERICAN ALL OVER EVERYBODYS ASSES

Wingnut Web – Order an Extra Helping of Crazy Edition

Susan Herbert, who we were first introduced to in a massive posting where she declared she was president and was filing cases against the Supreme Court, realized she had found Internet Fame on Resistnet when they lapped up her crazy rantings like it was the nectar of the gods. Thus, she didn’t shut up, and instead kept typing, and typing, and typing. She brings forth more crazy than an automated crazy ranting machine. Her mind is an ever-flowing fountain of crazy shooting off at the speed of light. There is no fighting against this tide, you can only hope you don’t get swept away.

If declaring yourself President is all you have to do for things like that, than I am declaring myself Tars Tarkas, The Black Moses of Soul!

In addition to declaring herself President, Susan Herbert has also solved every problem in particle physics because it is all laid out in the US Constitution. Yes, she is seriously saying that.
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The great thinker (and supporter of violent overthrow of the US government) AZ-concerned had this to say:
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Oh, no! Look out, DocFord, Resistnet doesn’t take too kindly to people with common sense!
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RAWR! Burn the Heretic!
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Judge Hull COULDN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! No judge would listen to me, thus proving all the judges are wrong because there is no way I could be…
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That’s a lot of words to just make a teleprompter joke..
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ReddDogg, Keyboard Warrior, is convinced, but demands a version for morons. Uh, even dumber morons.
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No Dummies version, because I am far too busy! But not so busy I can’t write dozens of paragraphs on random message boards!
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Yeah, because without that, the previous pages were confusing…
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This post is in response to herself, her hatred of Orly is hilarious as is her characterization of any criticism of her is just because she is a woman.
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And Dick Cheney personally went after her, and despite the fact he could have had her arrested for all sorts of things without any proof he didn’t do anything.
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I don’t even know where to begin with this one.
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dale henderson only wishes he was this crazy!
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If you can’t understand my genius, U R Dum!
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You’re writing is perfectly fine! The fact that I am also a raving loon in no way means anything.
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DocFord is back with facts that these people just don’t want to hear…
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She is a total genius.
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I read it and understand it all, except if you were to ask me anything about it!
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And that’s not all… Yep, there is MORE craziness to come from our current President of the United States Susan Herbert, duly gotten there by just declaring it so, real soon! And remember the Knights Templar!

Wingnut Web – Insanity is Insane Edition

There is crazy, and then there is CRAAAAAA-Zy, and then there is Susan Herbert. Now there is a theory of Peak Wingnut, which was supposed to be the point where Wingnut Craziness reached its zenith and then they slowly but begrudgingly accepted Obama as their president. As you know, that never happened and the crazy has just gotten crazier. It used to be that Dr. Orly Taitz Esq. Jr. T.E. NAMBLA was the Queen of the crazy train, with her crazy TV rantings and her filings of misspelled lawsuits all across the land. But a challenger has emerged. Poised to knock Orly off the top of the mountain. She is a perfect storm of crazy. The kind of insane you only see in movies and dismiss as a writer’s fantasy. And, of course, she posts on Resistnet.com! Why wouldn’t she?

Susan Herbert, Nonlawyer Woman. This fall on Fox!
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Um, okay…
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Wait, there is an original constitution? Oh, she’s talking about that US is a Corporation conspiracy theory, which is what you think if you are frakking stupid and read about how Washington DC got their government.
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So she is going to find part of the Constitution (the Income Tax – 16th Amendment) unconstitutional. Yeah.
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I am sure the military would be shocked to know they are already in Susan Herbert’s corner.
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Go home!
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Yes, but…
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I did not know.
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Ummm…
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She teaches US Law, even though she is a Nonlawyer Person?
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$500 notes. Yes.
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AND???
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Umm…
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Good Lord..
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come on..
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More? There’s MORE?
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What does gun control have to do with Obama’s eligibility?
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So bombing Oklahoma City would be okay if you filed a case in SCOTUS?
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GUN is a necessary institution of government. Right.
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She asked the SCOTUS to dissolve the entire government.
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Give me attention!
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This whole thing is because she doesn’t like taxes? Get her a diaper.
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Reason #50???? There are 49 other Reasons she didn’t post?? Lady, War and Peace is not as long as your docket!
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Okay, fine, shut up.
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Shut up.
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Seriously, SHUT UP!!
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Now she is Acting Legal President and Acting Legal Commander of the USA. Thanks to filing a court case.
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Sorry the commentary isn’t the usual quality, this is too insane to properly mock.

So now Susan Herbert is your President and Commander. It is perfectly legal and logical, just look at the argument she spelled out for you. So throw out your Obama pictures and put up your Susan Herbert photos. Or something. If all it takes to become president is to file a crazy lawsuit, then I’ll be your new president in a few minutes! Take that, Susan Herbert!

You might think Resistnet.com and the several other sites she posted this one would ignore her or try to encourage her to get help. Nope, they are encouraging her and cheering her on, saying what she writes is very important and all people should read it. I don’t recommend anyone reading what she wrote, even if the CIA was reading it to torture Al Qaeda suspects. But this is only the beginning, Susan Herbert has discovered the internet, and will soon go so crazy that this rant will look sane. Watch for it, it will happen. And Wingnut Web will be there.