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Sabrina the Superheroine Witch

Sabrina the Teenage Witch – who you probably remember as Melissa Joan Heart and the talking cat show, but was also several cartoons and was originally a spinoff of Archie Comics, will be back in movie form. Sony Pictures is doing the reboot/remake, and thanks to the magic of reimagination, Sabrina will now be an origin story where young Sabrina comes to terms with her powers. Maybe an evil magician kills her Uncle Ben or something. Yes, it’s going to be “edgier”, because we’re all about edges here in the post-Dark Knight era of comic book movies. Edges edges edges. but don’t worry, talking black cat Salem will be back (the best part of the TV series, with Caroline Rhea as a close second) except now he’s a transformed prince/love interest. Okay. As an aside, male cats have barbed penises. Andrew Berrer and Gabriel Ferrari will be writing, and Mark Waters might direct. Maybe. Just cast a spell and direct away, dude!

Via Deadline

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

I hope they reboot this video game also!

Summer School getting a remake

All the talk of the Dumb and Dumber 2 film getting closer to being made has obscured the real story, which is Happy Madison is prepping a remake of Summer School! The Mark Harmon starring film is one of those comedies that slips through the radar and sort of made its rounds on cable, but was on Showtime more than HBO and Cinemax, so I barely saw it. But I do remember key scenes, including the two Bill and Ted prototypes (one was named Chainsaw and they loved Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Courtney Thorne-Smith from Melrose Place, the guy who was in the bathroom all summer, and Kirstie Alley showing up as another teacher. Mark Harmon is the uncaring gym teacher who is forced to teach summer school. He doesn’t care at first, but learns to care thanks to the threat of being fired, and teaches the kids. Let’s hear it for being threatened with being fired! The original film is funny, but it’s not like it is a holy grail, and many people probably aren’t even aware it exists. So there won’t be too many toes stepped on here. The real question is who will be the teacher in the remake, because that will probably make or break it. I’ll remain cautiously optimistic as to the prospects of this one.

Via MovieHole

Summer School chainsaw

Let's have a Chainsexcellent adventure, dudes!

The Mummy gets rebooted

And the details aren’t under wraps! 😉 Okay, that pun was lame, but even though no one could call Brendan Fraser’s The Mummy movies high class entertainment, they were enjoyable and fun (though less so with each sequel.) They also gave us the Scorpion King spinoff and its various sequels and prequels and whatnot, including the latest entry, The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption, which came out earlier this year. So will a reboot trash the once proud Scorpion King franchise? Or will they continue to be pumped out as long as they make money as well. Two universes living as one.

Prometheus writer Jon Spaihts will take care of the script and Sean Daniel will produce. If his name sounds familiar, it’s because he produced the prior The Mummy films. It sounds like they want to make a giant adventure and not a Twilight ripoff, which is good. It’s also good that Universal still has some faith in their monster movie catalog after the recent failure of The Wolfman.

Via

Yummy Mummy Cereal

Now with marshmallow Scorpions!

The Cat in the Hat in the Reboot

Time to hide behind the couch again, because The Cat in the Hat is returning to theaters, this time in CGI form! Yes, a reboot of a big bankable creation from Dr. Seuss was inevitable thanks to the fact the Lorax made a bunch of cash despite being a giant slap to the face of the message behind the Lorax. Luckily, The Cat in the Hat has far less lessons to ignore for a bland CGI flick, though there is the ever-present threat that Mike Meyers will return to voice the Cat. That’s assuming I don’t drown him in hairballs first and leave his corpse floating in the Baltic Sea. Uh…not that I would do that, nor set up an elaborate ruse involving a fake film production just to lure him out there.

Expect Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson to voice Thing 1 and Thing 2 in my imaginary awful version, where Thing 1 falls in love with a baby Little Cat Z.

via

Cat in the Hat

Leprechaun getting a WWE-fueled reboot!

For some reason only known to inmates at the local nut house, Leprechaun is getting a reboot instead of another sequel. And not only is Leprechaun getting rebooted, it’s getting rebooted thanks to a deal Lionsgate is doing with WWE. The wrestling company. Because nothing says Leprechaun like WWE. Sure, the timing of this is also a tad suspect (as tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day), but let’s forget about that for a second. WWE? Seriously? Have they made any good films?

Even better is the quote from the clueless WWE Studios head, Michael Luisi;

“We have been looking for ways to continue our relationship with Lionsgate and we saw ‘Leprechaun’ as the perfect opportunity to take a well-known franchise and put a modern-day spin on it. This is a property that we believe our audience will respond to and we continue to look for ways to surprise and engage them.”

How in the crap are they going to “put a modern-day spin” on Leprechaun? Is he going to kill people via viral videos? Will his gold be stolen by Ron Paul? And how often will he wrestle, probably for a GOLD BELT! See, this just writes itself!

I am engaged, and here is my engagement in picture form:
Leprechaun in Space Finger

And let’s also mention:
Upcoming films for WWE Studios include “No One Lives,” starring Luke Evans and WWE personality Brodus Clay, “Barricade,” starring Eric McCormack; and cult hit “The Day” starring “Lost” vet Dominic Monaghan, Shawn Ashmore, and Ashley Bell, which was purchased at the 2011 Toronto Film Festival.

I’m sure they will be stellar, stellar films.
Variety via Daily Grindhouse

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is on to Remake City!

Yes, it’s true, it’s true! Today is an awesome day. A great day! A holiday! The Garbage Pail Kids will have a new movie! If you didn’t grow up with Garbage Pail Kids, then your childhood was a waste. Mothers freaked out (mine banned the cards from our house!), schools banned the cards, Cabbage Patch Kids sued…it was awesome! Gross kids on gross cards. And then they had a film that got yanked from the theater for being so awful. I’ve seen it three times in the theater thanks to someone in the Bay Area having a print. And now there will be a new one. Because, as all GPK fans know, there is two copies of each GPK, each with a different name.

Even better, the director is some guy named PES. Yes, PES. Why? Who the frak knows? Just remember, it is PES, not POS. Or maybe it is, we’ll find out when Garbage Pail Kids hits the theaters! PES directs short films, none of which I have seen and won’t see until later today when I’m at a computer that uses sound. PES developed the story with Michael Vukadinovich, who is scripting.

You can thank Michael Eisner for this, as his company The Tornante Company bought Topps and has made this their first film spinoff.

In other GPK news, there are awesome GPK style art on this page from Luis Diaz, including an awesome Princess Leia Garbage Pail Kid:

Princess Leia Garbage Pail Kid

The nostril force is strong on this one...

via deadline