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Footloose remake trailer explodes buses all over your heart!

UPDATE: Read our FULL REVIEW of the new Footloose movie, and discover the mystery of the exploding buses!

The pointless Footloose remake is trailerized, and it is filled with some dancing and buses exploding and drunk driving and dancing and sexy train dodging and the lead doing his James Dean impression for the entire film. Starring Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Dennis Quaid, and Andie MacDowell. What the original movie needed was more sexy train dodging.

Dai-Nipponjin / Big Man Japan remake

Dai-Nipponjin is getting the US remake treatment, I guess Columbia Pictures saw Godzilla and Pacific Rim and US Troll Hunter getting greenlit and decided to jump on the coattails. But as they have the writers from the God-awful Clash of the Titans remake attached (Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi), I have about as much enthusiasm for this project as I do for watching grass grow. Prove me wrong, Hollywood! Matsumoto Hitoshi is supposed to have an advisory role, but that doesn’t mean anything.

Big Man Japan

The Lohan vs The Fox – Which Carrie Will Reign Supreme?

Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan are in a war of bad casting decisions to become the next Carrie, in the remake of Carrie, about a girl named Carrie, who is so very fly oh my, it’s a little bit scary. Actually, Carrie isn’t supposed to be fly at all! But I’m sure glasses and a pony tail will make Megan Fox look unattractive (yeah, right!) The real question is why Lindsay Lohan is up for any part in anything except Inmate #12319418012343?

As this Carrie will likely be PG-13 and not contain scenes of girls pelting each other with tampons, I think I’ll pass.

It's totally believable that I'm unattractive and unpopular!

Child's Play next up on the remake chopping block

One day someone will make a movie that is all the original horror icons vs. their remade versions. And the remade versions will all lose, horribly, because they suck. I don’t say that as some sort of guy who is totally into the 1980s and think that old stuff is the best stuff ever, I say it because all of the remakes have been terrible. So will this rebooted Chucky movie be awful? Dunno. The guy who wrote Child’s Play 2-5, Don Mancini, is writing, and Brad Dourif is voicing Chucky again. I guess it is less of a reboot and more of just another Chucky adventure from an alternate universe – sort of like Godzilla flicks.

Gambit reboot

Not the marvel dude, but a remake of the 1966 British film that starred Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine. Joel and Ethan Coen have written the new version, which means it might be better than you would think. But it still needs a mutant who throws playing cards, because, every movie needs a mutant that throws playing cards. Just imagine how much better Casablanca would have been had Rick thrown exploding playing cards at the Nazis!

Play THIS again, Sam!

Commando remake

Commando Matrix

I am dead tired of movie remakes! Now that that is out of the way, we got David Ayer to writing and directing the remake of Commando, produced by Erwin Stoff and John Davis. This is the film that make my governor an action star. So of course it will get remade. But, odds are it will be a crappy, boring PG-13 remake. Just cause I’m jaded.

The best part is Commando was already remade – by the Russians! I think I have this film, I will look through my archives if it isn’t in storage atm.