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Vampire Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

It’s that time again to go over all the stories that I was too lazy to write about when they came out, what with the real world getting in my face with all this Christmas cheer and ODing on candy canes. Well, I’m out of the candy cane rehab clinic and back. We got some awful things that have appeared, some less than awful things, and some curiosities. As usual, I have some links to cool articles, though I am always looking for more cool things, so feel free to suggest for the next roundup! Now, let’s roll!

**The live action film about Acme – the company that Wile E. Coyote gets all his gadgets from, is moving forward and is becoming basically an unofficial Steve Jobs biopic. Producer Dan Lin spoke about how it will allow them to do all sorts of wacky inventions. But without those inventions leading to cartoon violence, I’m not so certain. Who wants to see an actual human plummet off a cliff to his doom? Will it be like Roger Rabbit when a steamrollered Judge Doom gets up and things look freaky? In any event, I’d rather stay at home draining suckers dry when the river gets dealt thanks to a Party Poker bonus code. But we’ll see. Did you know that Broomcorn’s Uncle is an actual poker term? That’s make a good film title…

**The book series Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead is becoming a film, with Heathers writer Dan Waters doing the script and his brother and Mean Girls director Mark Waters helming the film. The books sound just like you think they do, with a female teenage lead and vampire politics. Sadly there is no vampire who makes sound effects with his mouth. What kind of lame Academy movie is that??

Set in the present day against a hidden universe of vampires, half-humans, alchemy, and magic. Richelle Mead shifts the focus from the brooding male vampires of Twilight, “True Blood” and “The Vampire Diaries” to that of a strong, yet flawed 17-year-old female who confronts her world with grit, determination, and lots of moxie. Rose Hathaway is a dhampir, half human/half vampire, and guardian of the Moroi, a race of peaceful and magical mortal vampires who can walk in the daylight, survive by feeding off willing blood donors, grow old and die. Hidden deep in the forests of Montana is St. Vladimir’s Academy, where Moroi and dhampirs learn to take their place in Moroi society.

Rose must master her inherited abilities as a dhampir and earn the approval of the Royal Council, as guardian to Princess Lissa, her best friend and sole heir of one of the twelve Royal families of Moroi. Rose and Lissa share a mysterious psychic bond and sense of destiny, but first they must survive an intense social scene, politics, and the physical challenges of Moroi life at the Academy. Outside the sanctuary of St. Vladimir’s waits their greatest threat of all, the Strigoi, a race of bloodthirsty immortal vampires and predators of the Moroi.

**BleedingCool has some pics of the cancelled Pixar flick Newt, which got the ax when it turned out it was too similar in plot to Rio. Good thing no one told Pixar about Antz
Newt Pixar

**Battle of the Year 3D is The Mighty Ducks, except with b-boy crews. And the Koreans are evil once again, because this must take place in the Red Dawn remake universe. Chris Brown does finally get put into jail, but only movie jail, and he’s seen punching a bag in the trailer. Good job there, guys. You gotta love a dance crew that has a battle cry of “3D!” And by love, I mean go catch a matinee of The Hobbit instead.

**Pre-Code goes gangster for Blondie Johnson!

**OutlawVern hunts down Django Unchained!

**Have you been following the 200 Best Hong Kong Films Ever countdown on LoveHKFilm? You better be!

**The Great White Dope gets spied by the Eyes of a Stranger!

**Radiation Cinema! counts to The 27th Day!

**Carol tells us the comics she liked in 2012 at The Cultural Gutter!

**I got my MOSS Secret Santa swag from Miguel at Monster Island Resort Podcast. The Dredd badge came right after I watched Dredd, which was freaking awesome and has a rad soundtrack too boot. That Tanya flick is famous in the “chick bones an ape” genre of films. And, yes, that is a vintage 8mm Varan the Unbelievable reel, which is awesome for the cover box art alone. Thanks, Miguel!
MOSS Secret Santa
Check out the latest podcast where Miguel discusses the Gillman from the Creature from the Black Lagoon flicks!

**Bill Plympton has a new flick up on Kickstarter raising funds – Cheatin’ – so if you like his stuff and want to throw money at him, now’s your chance!

**Dodging Myths is my new favorite Kickstarter of all time. Remember to watch all the Word Warrior videos, because you will not be disappointed. That is the word.

Until next time, remember to not enroll in any random academies unless they are Police Academies!

Monsters sequels and prequels

We got some Monsters news from two Monsters movies, thus I’m combining them in one entry as it makes life easier to clear up the backlog.

First up, do you remember that found footage movie Monsters that was sort of interesting but ultimately went nowhere? Well, it’s getting a sequel. Gareth Edwards is off doing the Godzilla movie and some other stuff, so there’s a new writer and director and title. Monsters: The Dark Continent will feature “a teacher living outside the walled quaratined zone in Central America and his brother whom he ventures into the region to find—a former military man who has become a figure akin to APOCALYPSE NOW’s Colonel Kurtz.” written by Jay Basu and directed by Tom Green (the Tom Green who isn’t an insane comedian) No word on if the sequel will have a budget that is more than the cost of a tank full of gas. Boy, isn’t gas expensive? What’s that about? Must be because of the Monsters.

Speaking of Monsters and energy production, Pixar’s hit Monsters Inc. is getting it’s prequel, Monsters University. Find out how Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan met each other and why they hated each other for a while until hijinks ensued which caused them to be best buds. June 21, 2013 is when we’re getting this money maker! The preview trailer has just dropped. And to make the prequel even more hype-tastic, they’ve made four versions of it, where Mike says something different when Sully yanks off his covers. Watch them all for maximum joke getting. You don’t want to be the guy at the party who’s only seen three versions of the Monsters University trailer!

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And the iTunes version I can’t get to embed right is here

Monsters University

John Carter of Mars – Banth bones?

Orlandi Statuary was hired to create a bunch of “saber tooth” bones for Pixar’s John Carter of Mars to be scattered around the sets. Since the closest thing to sabretooths in the literature is Banths, people are speculating we have Banth Bones!

Dem bones dem bones

Orlandi via JCOMReader

John Carter of Mars news – Ciaran Hinds interview

Ciaran Hinds will be playing Tardos Mors (misspelled as Tardes Mors) in John Carter of Mars and Aberforth Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. He just gave an interview to Collider with some information.

John Carter talk:

Talks about who he plays in the film – plays Tardes Mors – the leader of one of the two warring tribes on Mars
Tells me how he got cast in the film and how he was a huge fan of Andrew Stanton’s work
Says the script is so well written – filled with energy and drive
Says it’s live action, CG and animation
Has already filmed a few days
Does he think the movie will push the boundaries of film like Avatar
Talks about a big set piece “where everyone is involved” and that will take 8 or 9 days in March, then he does two small scenes in early April, then he goes to Utah to film as that’s going to fill in for Mars