TarsTarkas.NET and the Lawsuit of Doom!

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don’t know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dog, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out
Finally got an email–

Wait, an email??? Uh-oh!

TarsTarkas.NET: Slander in your blog

This is an enquiry e-mail via http://tarstarkas.net from:
Michael Beckham

http://www.tarstarkas.net/2010/01/21/wingnut-web-dipping-into-the-militia-mail-bag/

I’m going to give you guys 1 week to dissolve this thread which specifically targets me, and slanders me as well. I have made screen shots of this blog to present to my attorney. This will be interesting to say the least. Please remove the thread, or I will file suit against you guys for posting FALSE accusations against me. I will also contact the attorney general in regards to this being on the internet. Bringing it across state lines via the internet makes this a federal issue. I’m asking nicely. Thank you

No, not slander!

Okay, fine, I’ll check it out. A quick look at the post in question shows that it is impossible for anyone to not realize statements made were jokes about Michael Beckham. Considering Michael Beckham was the one who went public and posted tons of information linking his name to child molestation charges, even if they aren’t true, then Michael Beckham shouldn’t be upset when people start Googling “Michael Beckham” and “child molester”. If I started to claim that I was made of maple syrup, people are going to google “Tars Tarkas maple syrup” and joke about it, and then I can’t sue them for “slander” because they’re believing it.

But maybe Beckham has a problem with some of the comments, in which case he should get a life. Several of them point out what kind of character Beckham is, others are posts of emails from the militia dudes Beckham is feuding with that seem to collaborate parts of what the others are saying. The rest is just the comments of the popcorn eaters enjoying the show.

Now, Micheal Beckham is a member of the Well Regulated Militias board (aka the WRAM guys) who were briefly our targets as they were involved in a bunch of infighting and filling up our inboxes with various conspiracy theories about how the government was infiltrating them and their infighting that caused the group to splinter into pieces. That’s what I get for joining random Ning sites advertised on Resistnet.com. Eventually, we got bored as more hilarious targets presented themselves, and left the WRAM guys to go play armyman in the woods with their toy guns.

Our mistake. We should have never stopped reporting on the goings on of the WRAM guys, because they are still hilarious! So expect more WRAM stuff soon.

So I guess TarsTarkas.NET will now be shut down by US Attorney General Eric Holder, and we’re all gonna get sued for slander. Which is awesome because even if we made actual charges designed to hurt Micheal Beckham’s reputation and not sarcastic jokes in response to his own broadcasting of his junior high school drama, it would be libel. Luckily, EFF.org has got our back, and as we are all brainwashed Obots Eric Holder is well aware of us and we are on his payroll. But now TarsTarkas.net has finally arrived and gotten a lawsuit threat, just as we’re about to announce the politics-only spinoff site Monday.

I have received no reply from Mr. Beckham when I told him no, but any updates will be reported. Until then, remember the knights templar. If anyone wants Eric Holder’s autograph when he comes to arrest me, let me know in the comments!