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Naked Solder

Naked Soldier got released in theaters finally and they released a buttload of HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE images, one of which is important because it has the only image of Jiang Luxia I’ve seen from the film. As she’s the only thing keeping me interested at this point it’s a pretty important fact, as Naked Soldier will undoubtedly be very very awful. But maybe I’m wrong. No, I’m not wrong. Stop sewing the seeds of discord. History will be on my side. As we shall see, once this shows up on Western shores and I review and trash it. I mean give it a fair review.

So here Jiang Luxia is all dressed up in mannish clothes looking like Yukari Oshima 2.0 meets Disco Godfather. I call that a good thing, though I know there are people out there who don’t care for Yukari Oshima or Jiang Luxia. Judging by the picture she works for a 1930s private eye who also employs a Ukrainian enforcer woman and a gay manservant.
Naked Soldier

The plot for those who need a refresher:

Interpol agent CK Long busted a billion-dollar drug deal fifteen years ago. The cartel has avenged itself by hiring Madame Rose’s organization of assassins to kill CK Long’s entire family. Long himself survives and believes his young daughter is still alive. In fact, for these fifteen years, the girl has been kidnapped by Madame Rose, brainwashed and trained into beautiful, sexy killer Phoenix.

Phoenix has now become the top-ranked killer in Madame Rose’s organization. She is skilled in combat and always completes her missions. Thanks to her band of killers Madame Rose has expanded her criminal organization and now assigns missions in many parts of the world. CK Long has never imagined that he would one day become the target of his own daughter’s mission.

The rest of the images –
Naked Soldier
I dumped the rest after the fold…

Naked Soldier gets a trailer and maybe a release month

Naked Soldier (which we’ve written about before) has been pushed back again and again to the point where it is a mystery to everyone when the film will come out. But that mystery might be close to being solved when current rumors pinpoint the release date as July. Just when in July is not clear, nor how wide the release will be. What is clear from the trailer is Marco Mak saw Naked Weapon and thought that was far better to base the film on than Naked Killer. This is sad, and makes me wonder if Marco Mak has some sort of substance abuse problem, because only drugs of the highest caliber could explain Naked Weapon being held to a higher regard than Naked Killer.

You might think that means we won’t bother watching this once it pops up at DVD stores in Chinatown. You couldn’t be more wrong, for Jiang Luxia is in this and we’ll watch whatever awful film she’s in just to support one of the few actual female martial artists in Hong Kong cinema.

The plot:

Interpol agent CK Long busted a billion-dollar drug deal fifteen years ago. The cartel has avenged itself by hiring Madame Rose’s organization of assassins to kill CK Long’s entire family. Long himself survives and believes his young daughter is still alive. In fact, for these fifteen years, the girl has been kidnapped by Madame Rose, brainwashed and trained into beautiful, sexy killer Phoenix.

Phoenix has now become the top-ranked killer in Madame Rose’s organization. She is skilled in combat and always completes her missions. Thanks to her band of killers Madame Rose has expanded her criminal organization and now assigns missions in many parts of the world. CK Long has never imagined that he would one day become the target of his own daughter’s mission.

Naked Soldier

The nakedest fully clothed person...ever!

Naked Soldier

Naked Soldier is the latest update of the Naked Weapon/Naked Killer type films, this time Jenn Tse Ting-Ting stars (Nicholas Tse’s sister), and Sammo Hung stops by. Haunted Office and Tracing Shadow director Marco Mak Chi-Sin will be helming this time out. The plot:

Interpol agent CK Long busted a billion-dollar drug deal fifteen years ago. The cartel has avenged itself by hiring Madame Rose’s organization of assassins to kill CK Long’s entire family. Long himself survives and believes his young daughter is still alive. In fact, for these fifteen years, the girl has been kidnapped by Madame Rose, brainwashed and trained into beautiful, sexy killer Phoenix.

Phoenix has now become the top-ranked killer in Madame Rose’s organization. She is skilled in combat and always completes her missions. Thanks to her band of killers Madame Rose has expanded her criminal organization and now assigns missions in many parts of the world. CK Long has never imagined that he would one day become the target of his own daughter’s mission.

Important casting information that you need to know is Jiang Luxia will show up as a Thai assassin! The official site has all sorts of goofy cast bios in their flash-centric page (Still hate the flash pages…) making the film look more team centric, instead of lone women being awesome. Corey Yuen will do the action, so the action won’t be horrible. We can save that for the plot!

Jenn Tse is Phoenix, other assassins are code named White Snake, Black Dragon, Ivy, and Selina. Midriffs will be bared, but that’s probably the only nudity you’ll get!

SO here’s a teaser, followed by two posters. Enjoy! Because you know we’ll watch this, no matter how terrible it is.

Naked Soldier

Tracing Shadow

Tracing Shadow (Review)

Tracing Shadow

aka Zhui ying

2009
Directed by Marco Mak Chi-Sin and Francis Ng Chun-Yu

Tracing Shadow hit the scene when a trailer with cool shots floated around the net and got people all exited it was a cool martial arts action film. But it is not a drama, is an action comedy fantasy reportedly inspired by the classic King Hu film Dragon Inn. And it does have some gorgeous shots, but it suffers from some plot weakness.

One thing Tracing Shadow does do that is unique is the use of look-alikes. Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Andy Lau are all represented by not the actual performers, but by look-alikes. Eventually, more look-alikes show up, and we have a who’s who of Hong Kong celebrities running around, often in multiple instances. If this becomes more common, then we might have modern day versions of Brucespoiltation films! But, I would watch Clones of Jet Li, because, why the heck not? If it has dancing naked girls and bronzemen, all the better!


Let’s get on with the show….

Changgong (Francis Ng Chun-Yu) – A Mongolian martial arts master who gave up the martial world to live a life up peace. But then this hot chick he’s in to keeps getting into trouble, and he’s sucked back in. Francis Ng is co-director.
Xin (Pace Wu Pei-Ci) – A Japanese ninja in China searching for long lost treasure, but instead finds a husband. Pace Wu is a Taiwanese model, actress, and singer.
Jet Chu (???) – Jet here is the look-alike for Jet Li. He’s a criminal trying to find the hidden treasure while not paying any rent. I have no clue who plays him.
Jackie Tang (???) – Jackie Tang is the look-alike for Jackie Chan. He’s another criminal trying to find the hidden treasure while not paying any rent. I have no clue who plays him.
Andy (???) – Andy is the look-alike for Andy Lau. He’s yet another criminal trying to find the hidden treasure while not paying any rent. I have no clue who plays him.
Lord Xu Sanguan (Jaycee Chan Cho-Ming) – Lord Xu owns all the buildings and land in the area because his father set it all up. Likes Wei, but is frustrated by her refusals of his advances. Jaycee Chan is Jackie Chan’s son, thus leading to comic hijinks with the Jackie Tang character.
Wei (Xie Na) – The adopted daughter of Changgong and Xin. She runs their restaurant and cannot read. Her abrasive personality attracts Lord Xu. Xie Na is a popular emcee in Chinese entertainment, her own show is Happy Show, and she is also a television actress.