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March of Godzilla 4

March of Godzilla 4 is the fifth theme month and fourth Godzilla theme month on TarsTarkas.NET.


Godzilla vs. Biollante aka Gojira vs. Biorante
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah aka Gojira vs. Kingu Gidora
Godzilla vs. Mothra: The Battle for the Earth aka Gojira vs. Mosura
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 aka Gojira VS Mekagojira
Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla aka Gojira VS Supesugojira
Godzilla vs. Destoroyah aka Gojira vs Desutoroia
Godzilland
Godzilla Commercials Part 1
Godzilla Commercials Part 2
Commercial Monster Bios

Godzilla Honey Nut Cheerios

godzilland

Godzilland (Review)


Godzilland

Say kids, what time is it? It’s Godzilland time! YAAAAYYY!!

Wait, what the frak is Godzilland? Godzilland was a morning show for the kiddies that aired in Japan around the time Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 came out. Besides that, I know nothing about the show except for this sample episode that will get documented here. There is little to no information about this show anywhere (at least in English) so join TarsTarkas.NET as we sail into uncharted territory! March of Godzilla 4 had to have some crazy surprise, now didn’t it?

The best part of Godzilland is the stylized cartoon kaiju

They are all over the opening sequence, we have larva Mothra, that human who we will see is the host, Mechagodzilla, Anguirus, Rodan, Baragon, Gigan, Godzilla, Moguera, Mechagodzilla, Mothra egg, and more Mechagodzilla

All of those Mechagodzillas probably mean that film either is about to or just came out. The inclusion of Moguera might indicate they already are working on SpaceGodzilla, but might not as SpaceGodzilla is MIA in the opening credits.

King Ghidorah, Mothra as a Moth, and Mecha-King Ghidorah show up in this frame

The top Kanji translate to “bouhan” which means “an exciting adventure” And Godzilland sure is!

Here is our host, I think his first name is supposed to be Russell but I might be wrong.

Russell hangs out with four Japanese chicks who are big Godzilla boosters

They are the Godzilla Chicks (a name I made up for them) and in the beginning Russell asks them questions from a pile of cards.

Interspacing animation time!

Holy Godzilla vs. Bambi, Batman!

Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla 2

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 (Review)

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2

aka Gojira VS Mekagojira

1993

Directed by Takao Okawara

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 is not one of my favorite movies in the Heisei series. This is due to several factors, but largely because I hate Babygodzilla. I am a big fan of Minya, but Babygodzilla is just annoying. He fills me with disgust. Parts of this film are pretty great, but besides annoyance at the offspring, other problems creep up. Rodan is pretty much wasted in his only Heisei appearance. He does little more than show up, get beat up, and then die. Twice. The music is also odd, partially because it is inspired by King Kong Escapes and not a Godzilla film. And let’s just not go into how annoying it is to have multiple films with the same title!

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 was released dubbed on VHS years after its release in Japan, it was so delayed that they changed the sprites in a Godzilla video game from the new Mechagodzilla to the older 1974 one because America didn’t even know about this new one. I guess the USA just can’t handle updated robots.

Kazuma Aoki (Masahiro Takashima) – This man is obsessed with pterodactyls! Obsessed! It is pretty scary. Masahiro Takashima fought more giant monsters in Orochi the Eight-Headed Dragon and returned to the Heisei series in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah.
Azusa Gojo (Ryoko Sano) – A female scientist with who was with Professor Omae on his egg quest, ends up bonding with Babygodzilla.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – That psychic girl is back being psychic again, because her job is to be psychic. Just imagine that listing popping up on Craigslist: Help Wanted: Must be Japanese, female, under 25, a psychic, and not afraid of giant lizards. Experience preferred. Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Professor Omae (Yusuke Kawazu) – Scientist who leads expedition to the island and finds the Babygodzilla egg and Rodan. Yusuke Kawazu was in the second and third films in the 1990s Gamera trilogy.
Minister Takayuki Segawa (Kenji Sahara) – Kenji Sahara has been in Godzilla films since the beginning, this is the third and final turn as Minister Takayuki Segawa in the Heisei series, he showed up again in Godzilla: Final Wars. Don’t miss him in these Ultra Q episodes.
Dr. Asimov (Leo Meneghetti) – In this alternate reality, Dr. Isaac Asimov not only is a great author on books of robotics, but he didn’t die, de-aged, and became one of the lead designers of Mechagodzilla. Or this guy is just named after Isaac Asimov.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Yeah, yeah, King of the Monsters, and now a single parent. That’s what you get for not wearing protection, Godzilla!
Mechagodzilla (Wataru Fukuda) – Build from the wreckage of Mecha-King Ghidorah, Mechagodzilla is here to fight Godzilla! The NT-1 alloy, helium-3, and diamond shield armor are no match for a pterodactyl turning into gold flakes.
Rodan (Puppet) – Hatching from an egg and just chillin’ on an island until Godzilla shows up to kill him, Rodan joins the Heisei universe. Rodan later becomes Fire Rodan, because every monster in the Heisei series has several life stages.
Super Mechagodzilla (Wataru Fukuda) – Even this robot can’t escape having several life stages, as Mechagodzilla combines with the Garuda to form Super Mechagodzilla, who gets Super Destroyed at the end of the film. Super.
Fire Rodan (Puppet) – Yeah, here is the Fire Rodan entry. Fire Rodan isn’t fiery enough! We demand more fire! I want him made out of lava! That’s my Fire Rodan.
Babygodzilla (???) – I hate you, Babygodzilla. Replacing Minya in the Heisei series is this reject from an episode of Disney’s Dinosaurs. Babygodzilla is somehow Rodan’s half-brother and is sung to by plants.

Godzilla vs Mothra Battra

Godzilla vs. Mothra (Review)

Godzilla vs. Mothra

aka Gojira vs. Mosura aka Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth

1992

Directed by Takao Okawara
Written by Kazuki Omori


This is the most popular film of the Heisei Godzilla series, in that it did the best at the box office due to the cross appeal of Mothra with girls. It spawned the Mothra Trilogy as an offshoot (though technically not in the same universe) and helped set up sequels down the line in the Heisei series. And it wasn’t released in the US until years later, thanks to fallout from Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. Thus, I ended up with a full-screen dubbed VHS release around 1998 or so when the movies started to show up at the local Suncoast (now bankrupt.) Isn’t that grand? So as Godzilla has been rebooted, it is time for familiar monsters to start reappearing. Since Ghidorah already did his part, now Mothra will show up to kick some Godzilla butt. Mothra is also joined by Battra, the Dark Mothra. Wow, how original. Will Dark Godzilla then show up? What about Light Ghidorah? What if we had a Godzilla who was black on one side and green on the other? Then he fought another bi-colored Godzilla, except his colors were on the opposite sides! This is a Star Trek joke, for those of you who are 13 and stumbled across this while Googling for “Godzilla boobs” or something.

Someone will find this review by Googling “Godzilla boobs”

Back to the films, we have typical Heisei stuff with the army being useless, that psychic girl Miki Saegusa showing up, and a bunch of new main characters who have to spend the film repairing their marriage. Important stuff, to be sure. This is also the deput of the Heisei Shibojin, or the Cosmos as they get renamed this time around. And they are not real twins, just two Idols that Toho had lying around.

Originally, Mothra was to fight a monster known as Bagan in a film called Mothra Vs. Bagan. Then Godzilla vs. Biollante tanked and Toho realized that no one knew who Bagan was. Instead of having Mothra fight Bagan all across Asia (including battles in Shanghai and Bangkok) Mothra was reworked into the Godzilla series. Mothra then got so popular she headlined her own trilogy of films. Bagan appeared as the final boss in the Super Nintendo video game Super Godzilla, and almost fought Godzilla in Godzilla vs. Bagan, but that film became Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. So Bagan gets the shaft again!

Takuya Fujito (Tetsuya Bessho) – Indiana Jones has been reincarnated as a Japanese tomb raider. That’s what happens when you die in a fridge as a nuke goes off. Takuya Fujito spends so much time stealing ancient artifacts he divorced his wife and hasn’t seen his young daughter. This all changes thanks to the power of Godzilla. Sure, thousands died, but Takuya rekindles his marriage!
Masako Tezuka (Satomi Kobayoshi) – Ex-wife of Takuya Fujito and mother of their young daughter. Reluctantly gets her husband out of jail to guide a mission in Infant Island in search of the giant egg, and being around each other during tragedy helps them get back together.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Don’t you know who she is by now? Miki Saegusa spends most of the film hunting down tiny girls.
The Cosmos (Keiko Imamura & Sayaka Osawa) – The Shobijin are now The Cosmos, because of…uh…um…stuff. So they are still two tiny girls who speak in unison, have psychic powers, and give warnings to people. They also get kidnapped by evil corporations all the time, because evil corporations are dumb and think two tiny slave girls will lead to an increase in sales of octopus-flavored Pocky. Maybe it would, this is Japan we are talking about. The Cosmos were created by the lifeforce of the Earth
Kenji Andoh (Takehiro Murata) – The Secretary to the President of the Maritomo Company. Sort of a jerk, but becomes less of a jerk when he stands up to his boss. Then he gets fired and exits the movie. Takehiro Murata also stars as Yuji Shinoda in Godzilla 2000, as a newspaper editor in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, and has cameos in GMK: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack and Godzilla X Mechagodzilla.
Professor Fukazawa (Saburo Shinoda) – Professor of being a suave Japanese Professor, also volcanoes or something. Will return in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah
Marutomo Head Takeshi Tomokane (Makoto Otake) – Evil CEO of an Evil Corporation who is Evil. And also a dork. Look at him, with his dorkiness. Conspires to cut down all trees, enslave the environment, kidnap tiny girls, and fire anyone who disagrees with him. His stockholders love him.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla? Never heard of him.
Mothra Larva (puppet) – Another Mothra pops out of an egg and immediately is involved in a fight. For someone who loves peace so much, Mothra sure gets into fights as a newborn a lot. Mothra has a fight in the high seas, trashes a city searching for The Cosmos, and then morphs into moth form after a cocoon on the Diet.
Mothra Moth (puppet) – Moth form of Mothra hasn’t changed much except to get bigger than the Showa form. And she has beam weapons now. And she can make little tiny Mothras, though we don’t see that in this movie so just forget I mentioned it.
Battra Larva (Hurricane Ryu Hariken) – Battra first appezred 12,000 years ago to trash civilization because they made a weather control device and Earth was mad. Battra and Mothra fought each other during that time. You remember all of this from history class so there is no need to add details. Battra then slept and was supposed to awaken in 1999 to destroy a meteor, but Godzilla woke him up earlier. So now Battra Larva is running around doing Battra Larva things. Is 90 meters long and weighs 20,000 tons
Battra Bat (puppet) – Battra then grows up without the need of a cocoon. First Battra hates Mothra, but eventually the two team up to attack Godzilla. This results in the death of Battra, who hasn’t been back unless you count Godzilla Island episodes. Adult Battra has a length of 73 meters and weights 30,000 tons, with a wingspan of 180 meters and can fly at Mach 3. Battra is the Black Mothra.
Yuzo Tsuchiashi (Akiji Kobayashi) – A grey-haired guy in G-Force who is some of these Heisei films yet he wasn’t featured in a Roll Call because these Heisei films have like 90,000 characters. He went back in time in Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah and helps plan defenses against Godzilla in multiple films. He is a friend of Environmental Planning Board Chief Jyoji Minamino. Actor Akiji Kobayashi is famous for the Kamen Rider X series, and also cameos in Gamera 2: Assault of the Legion.

Godzilla Commercials Part 2

This entry chronicles commercials starring Godzilla-like creatures and other kaiju. We got some wacky-looking monsters and some just different enough to not get sued monsters both trying to get us to buy their wares. Check out Part 1 for more commercials, and stay tuned for Part 3, which will be where I totally nerd out so much it will frighten some of you.

Bembos – I had no idea what Bembos was until I saw this
not only is there a King Kong creature running through the city, but a Godzilla-ish monster shows up at the end!
Bembos is a hamburger chain somewhere in South America, and make big hamburgers. The only thing big enough to satisfy this gorilla, who grabs one and bites and bites, finally getting stuffed. Too stuffed to play with the raspy Godzilla clone at the end. That Godzilla clone has the most demonic voice I have ever heard. It is crazy. I like it!

[FLOWPLAYER=http://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/BEMBOS.flv,320,270]

Godzilla Delicious

Godzilla Commercials Part 1


Godzilla is known for two things: destroying cities and kicking monster butt. One thing Godzilla isn’t as well known for is selling out. Yes, even Godzilla has to eat, so he’ll endorse all sorts of wacky stuff. We call him the Krusty the Clown of the giant monster world. TarsTarkas.NET begins an overview of Godzilla and other giant monster commercials because only we are so crazy (or stupid!) to do so. The current site motto might be “Obsessively stupid about stupid films” but now it is “Obsessively stupid about stupid commercials”!

The commercials range from Godzilla cameos using stock footage to independent productions with new footage of Big G. They also range from terrible to awesome, so it will be hit or miss.

Honey Nut Cheerios –
I remember this one from Saturday mornings. Using footage from Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster among others, Godzilla is rampaging again, and only the delicious taste of Honey Nut Cheerios can satisfy him and make him go back into the sea. Highlights include Godzilla yelling “Delicious!” and the iconic “bowl being tossed down the gullet” scene as Honey feeds the beast.



[FLOWPLAYER=http://tarstarkas.net/movies/gc/CheeriosGodzilla.flv,320,244]