The new Beethoven movie is a remake of The Goonies!

Beethoven’s Treasure Tail is not just the latest in a long line of Beethoven movies that I was only vaguely aware they were still making, but it turns into a remake of a different childrens’ classic. Yep, that plot you see in the trailer is correct, Beethoven turns into The Goonies! We got Beethoven arriving in a small down by the docks that is about to be bought out by a rich investor and everything torn down, but if a child can find pirate treasure in an underground cave system using a pirate’s map and a key with a skull on it that he finds on a dead body, he can save the day. And there is also a guy riding a little girl’s bike!

As a sequel to The Goonies is one of those things that people talk about every few years and get all excited and then nothing happens, this is probably the best we will ever get, a spiritual sequel to The Goonies featuring a giant dog who slobbers and knocks food onto people. Weirdly enough, I’m perfectly fine with that. I’d rather a tribute than a sequel or reboot that just turns everything to hot garbage.

I declare Beethoven’s Treasure Tail good enough. Good enough for me. Aye-aye-aye-yeah!

Beethoven’s Treasure Tail stars Jonathan Silverman, Bretton Manley, Kristy Swanson, Morgan Fairchild, Jeffrey Combs, Udo Kier, Bretton Manley, and Patrick Kwok-Choon. It’s directed by Ron Oliver (A Dennis the Menace Christmas)

Does this mean Beethoven is Sloth?