Finders Keepers, SyFy weepers!

Finders Keepers SyFy

Why is the only promotional material something the Patrick Muldoon tweeted out??

SyFy gives us a creepy doll movie starring Saw‘s Tobin Bell with Finders Keepers! Luckily, Counselor Troi is there to feel empathy. And Jaime Pressly is there to…not…feel empathy. Okay, I don’t know what any of the characters do, but there is a bunch of stars and a creepy doll and things.

A child becomes obsessed with an evil doll left behind by the previous occupants of her new home. Finders Keepers stars Tobin Bell (Saw, Saw II), Jaime Pressly (My Name is Earl, Two and a Half Men), Marina Sirtis (Star Trek: Next Generation, Crash) and Patrick Muldoon (Starship Troopers). A production of ARO Entertainment

Finders Keepers stars Tobin Bell, Jaime Pressly, Marina Sirtis, Patrick Muldoon, Trilby Glover, Kristen Kerr, Justina Machado, and Mercy Malick. It’s directed by Alexander Yellen (Battledogs and a cinematographer on a bajillion Asylum films) and written by Peter Sullivan (Chupacabra vs. the Alamo, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, The Dog Who Saved Easter, basically a ton of cool stuff!)

Finders Keepers premieres Saturday, October 18 at 9PM on SyFy! Hopefully, they’ll have something promotions-wise before that date!

Thanks to the Fans of SyFy Original Movies Facebook group for the heads up!

Finders Keepers game

No, not that Finders Keepers!

Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America (Review)

Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America

Stacy Keach as Secretary Reed
Justina Machado as Nurse Alma
Joely Richardson as Dr. Iris Varnack
Scott Cohen as Virginia Governor Mike Newsome
Directed by Richard Pearce

OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!! It’s the birds! Instead of killing us with their evil bird powers, they’re killing us with their evil bird diseases! The dastardly birds will not be stopped, as they give us a true-to-life Captain Tripps, the H5N1 Bird Flu mutated to human infectious! As the latest made for TV movie for ABC tells us, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! There is no escape….from birds!!!

Starting out with the opening of all openings, a warining informing us that bird flu from the H5N1 has already been found in 48 countries and killed 125 people. The film is careful to tell us that this is a “What if” scenario. Because anyone just tuning in might think a badly acted TV movie is in reality a real-time TV show called Survivor: Flu or something. Instead of conjuring up such images such as “What if the Punisher became Captain America?” or “What if Spiderman joined the Fantastic Four?” we get instead “What if everything bad happened, then suddenly everything good, because we’re America, and then suddenly WE ALL DIED??” The opening credits show Canadian geese-looking birds flying around and getting picked up on radar. Why on radar? Probably because several of them have computer graphics indicating that they are carriers of H5N1, which large size is easily picked up on radar. Scramble the fighters and shoot them all down! Come on, Iceman! Cowboy and Maverick got your back. We can’t have Goose on this mission, because we’re killing geese, and he’s dead.

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