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Vampire Academy Poster
InMovie News

A Vampire Academy sequel will happen if YOU open your wallet!

July 17, 2014By

Do you like throwing your money at YA franchises that failed to make it at the box office? Well, Vampire Academy has an offer for you! Despite Vampire Academy not setting the box office afire (or even creating sparks!), Vampire Academy is following in the YA franchise tradition of going ahead with an ill-advised sequel that will lose money. But there’s a twist! The twist is YOU will make up the difference, thus the rich producers will not lose any money, and the Real Fans will feel more involved. It’s win-win, unless you are an innocent bystander, like I am.

As the Facebook Announcement says:

We are excited to announce that we have raised the majority of our funds for FROSTBITE – but there is one small catch (we told you this wouldn’t be easy)…We need proof that the fans truly want to see the franchise continue. And so, we will be launching a crowd funding campaign and putting the power in your hands. More details to come later this week.

So, ‪#‎VAFamily‬ – Are you ready to make history? ‪#‎Frostbite2015‬

No word on if everyone will be back, but I’m thinking thanks to the magic of contractual obligations you can expect everyone. Will this go down the road of the bomb Percy Jackson 2, or the upcoming Mortal Instruments sequel that was delayed because of how bad Mortal Instruments: City of Bones did? We shall see…

Until then, start saving your pennies, because you need to throw money at this failed franchise instead of throwing money at all those other projects posted by actual independent struggling artists!

Vampire Academy Poster

How about “They suck at sequels!”?

Fatal Contact Bird Flu
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America (Review)

May 24, 2006By

Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America


2006
Starring
Stacy Keach as Secretary Reed
Justina Machado as Nurse Alma
Joely Richardson as Dr. Iris Varnack
Scott Cohen as Virginia Governor Mike Newsome
Directed by Richard Pearce

OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!! It’s the birds! Instead of killing us with their evil bird powers, they’re killing us with their evil bird diseases! The dastardly birds will not be stopped, as they give us a true-to-life Captain Tripps, the H5N1 Bird Flu mutated to human infectious! As the latest made for TV movie for ABC tells us, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! There is no escape….from birds!!!

Starting out with the opening of all openings, a warining informing us that bird flu from the H5N1 has already been found in 48 countries and killed 125 people. The film is careful to tell us that this is a “What if” scenario. Because anyone just tuning in might think a badly acted TV movie is in reality a real-time TV show called Survivor: Flu or something. Instead of conjuring up such images such as “What if the Punisher became Captain America?” or “What if Spiderman joined the Fantastic Four?” we get instead “What if everything bad happened, then suddenly everything good, because we’re America, and then suddenly WE ALL DIED??” The opening credits show Canadian geese-looking birds flying around and getting picked up on radar. Why on radar? Probably because several of them have computer graphics indicating that they are carriers of H5N1, which large size is easily picked up on radar. Scramble the fighters and shoot them all down! Come on, Iceman! Cowboy and Maverick got your back. We can’t have Goose on this mission, because we’re killing geese, and he’s dead.