As I’m sure all of you are eagerly awaiting, the premiere of the Lifetime Network Anna Nicole Smith movie Anna Nicole (formerly The Anna Nicole Story) will air June 29th. Then you can go back to not remembering who Anna Nicole Smith is, like everyone else in the universe. Not that’s I’m saying this is pointless, too late, derivative dreck that has been done before. I even made a joke about the 2007 Anna Nicole Smith biopic Anna Nicole the last time we wrote about this one. That film is awful, this film will maybe be less awful, but the message is:
Uh….
Let me get back to you on the message!
In other Lifetime exploitation news, the Jody Arias film Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret premieres June 22! This is exciting news for Nancy Grace fans and people who have their tv stuck on Lifetime and can’t find the remote.
Based on the disturbing murder trial that has captivated the nation, “Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret” tells the story of Jodi Arias (Tania Raymonde, “Lost”), a seductive 28-year-old aspiring photographer recently found guilty of killing her former lover Travis Alexander (Jesse Lee Soffer, “The Mob Doctor”), who was found nude in his apartment shower with a slit throat, 27 additional stab wounds and a bullet to the head. While investigating the violent killing, Mesa, Arizona, police retrieved a digital camera from Travis’ washing machine, revealing shocking images authorities claim Jodi took of their sexual escapades, as well as during and after his murder. While Jodi pled not guilty and contends she killed Travis in self-defense, police concluded that when Travis broke off his relationship with Jodi, she became a real life “Alex Forrest” (portrayed by Glenn Close) from the film “Fatal Attraction.” Jodi, they say, stalked her ex-boyfriend, who she successfully seduced one final time before murdering him and then attempted to cover her tracks. Her subsequent trial has been grand theater, dominating the cable news networks, with Jodi testifying in her own defense, offering insight into the sex, lies and obsession that led up to Travis’ murder — beguiling media and onlookers, alike.
Remember: this film was finished before she was found guilty of murder, which is the current MO for Lifetime films.
It’s a monster-sized edition to the Links post to celebrate Monster Love and to make up for Monster Laziness! So many good posts you won’t have to go anywhere else the rest of the day except all these places below. And also come back here. And share other links in the comments if you want. It’s a free internet!
As usual, we got lots of cool links from out friends and some movie news that didn’t rate its own post, and then science stuff thrown in for good measure because learning is cool. So be super monster cool and read all this stuff before I get mad!
**Top picture is Last Play by Jason Edmiston that appeared in the Village Voice, but I found on tumblr long ago with no proper attribution
**Yes, this link goes to the Daily Dot. But it’s not a terrible article, it’s actually good. I was just as surprised as you! The greatest movie that never was
**Is there a Jodi Arias Lifetime movie in the works? You bet your sweet bippy! If you aren’t Nancy Grace or someone who accidentally watched three seconds of Nancy Grace before the batteries in the remote kicked in and you could change the channel once more, you probably have no idea who Jodi Arias is, so count yourself lucky!
**Speaking of killer women, Women’s Studies is a crazy bad horror film about a killer women’s studies cult. I can’t tell if it is supposed to be a parody or what a MRA guy actually believes. Anyone with NetFlix or Amazon streaming want to check it out?
**Also LOL at this book:
**Go Go Girls vs. The Nazis is an upcoming Russ Meyer tribute film spearheaded by Wayne Clingman. Patrick Beck is slated to direct with a screenplay by Ross Bigley. The listed cast includes Melanie Robel, Elvis Thao, Melantha Blackthorne, and Ted Alderman.
This motion picture will include three critical elements to give a true grindhouse feel:
**The Gremlins remake is lumbering forward, now produced by Seth Grahame-Smith, the guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and the script to Dark Shadows (and rewrites on the Fantastic Four reboot.) Please feed this movie after midnight, but feed it poison!
**Babysitter Massacre sounds like it would be cooler if it was a straight horror movie version of The Babysitters Club instead of a sort of the same.
**These damn Pylopagurus discoidalis hermit crabs just can’t be found alive, except for now when they did. Also they named them The Three Amigos after the film.
That’s it until next time, bur remember, keep safe and keep loved!
