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Janram (Review)

Janram

aka Blind Moon aka จันทร์แรม

2004
Written by Varapon H. Phadungratna
Directed by Kirati Nak-Intanond

There’s a storm coming…a BLOOD STORM!!!

Janram is a Thai film from Niepce House, which is related to Natnalin Magazine, an art magazine from Thailan named after its founder, Natnalin Noimai, a photographer. The magazine has a heavy art bent, and the related features and enterprises on the website also trend towards the art direction. It did well enough that they started up a moving picture divsion to try to cash in on the Asian Horror craze that was sweeping the world in the early 2000s. From what I can tell, they produced only two films: Janram and Secret Room No.7, both released in 2004. Janram is heavily weighted to show visuals, visuals that have the appearance of the way fine art photographs would look in an arty black and white photoshoot. This is all well and good, but moving film is a different medium than still photography, so the correlation seems odd at times. It gives Janram a more high class feel, which strikes a stark contrast with what is actually happening in the story, with lesbian vampire schoolgirls.

Janram is based on a serialized story called Janram by Poomkamol Phadungratna that was incomplete at the time of filming. As Niepce House is a company set up by artists, the few films it made were more “artistic” than anything else. But they were also horror films, mostly so they could sell them overseas. This film is packed to the gizzards with weird stylized stuff – it has a washed out appearance most of the time, allowing for when there is blood for it to be bright bright bright red and contrast sharply with the rest of the film. Beyond that, there are random odd zooms and the camera is constantly moving like the cameraman was wearing rollerblades or something. As usual, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

The line for the midnight premiere of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 started before Part 1 hit the theaters!

The best part of this film was the two trailers before the film. One was of a haunted bra film – yes, haunted bra film. You see, if you put on this haunted bra, a ghost would appear and your bra would glow all yellow and you would be possessed by a ghost. Apparently women trade bras often, so dozens of women wear the haunted bra, which hunts down the people who killed and raped it’s original owner. Oddly enough, the English name for this film is Haunted Bra.

There was also a Naked Weapon knockoff film complete with crappy version of the Sharon Stone Basic Instinct leg crossing scene. The budget was about $4, but it’s probably at least as good as the real Naked Weapon. As far as I can tell, this doesn’t have an English name, but goes by นางฟ้า ต้องประหาร. If it ever gets back in print I’ll snatch up a copy for thrill of it all. Thanks to ThaiWorldView for helping me figure out the title!

Vampires also double as photo-negative safe lights for darkrooms!

Janram (Jintana Aromyen) – Just your average lesbian vampire schoolgirl who slowly eats all her lovers to death, yet doesn’t seem to realize that she’s killing all of them and gets depressed when they keep dying. But that doesn’t stop her from hooking up again and again with a constant parade of young lasses. The upper class Janram lives with her creepy grandma who is always silently craddling a doll and her mother. Actress Jintana Aromyen is also in Gonggoi: The Beast and 2004’s Ghost Dormitory
Ming (Maethinee Suwanjinda) – Janram’s lover who dies near the beginning of the film. Like you expect from a vampire flick, she returns very hungry and very upset that Janram has moved on to a new girl. It’s going to be a chick fight tonight!
Sassy (???) – As I couldn’t figure out her name, I just called her Sassy because she’s very sassy to everyone. Sassy has always hated Ming for reasons unknown, and she has no qualms on moving in on Ming’s territory once she dies. But then Ming comes back, but Janram now likes Sassy more… I think this is actress Bussakum Apithanarak but I am not sure.
I must stay away from the audio adaptations of Warhammer novels…but Gotrek and Felix can’t be resisted!

Gonggoi: The Beast (Review)

Gonggoi: The Beast


2002
Directed by Jaroongsak Vonglaueng

An example of Thai horror from their very numerous killer monsters/spirits genre (combining both!) we get a killer gorilla with glowing red eyes named Kong Koy (spelled Gongoi in the title, but what are you going to do?) that is the ghost of the previous owners of a monkey statue that are driven to kill to regain ownership of said statue. Thus the film gets filled with stupid teenagers who die, but not enough other people die. The long dragging in the beginning followed by lots of padding throughout the film stretch the running time and make it feel like a three-hour long film, and not in a good way. For those of us who just want to see red-eyed monkeys killing teenagers, we get what we want, but have to put up with a lot of annoyances to get to it.

Professor Laphin (???) – Former college professor who left academia to pursue a life of artifact trading for profit. Still manages to know all sorts of folk legends that modren kids don’t care about. Also manages to be a good shot with a gun and an expert in putting red tags on monkey heads.
Joe (???) – Joe is a complete moron who manages to steal a haunted artifact, do the one thing that will make the haunted artifact activate and kill everyone, then not do anything to stop it the entire time until almost everyone is dead. Then he doesn’t even have the courtesy to die. Joe, I say “No!”
Dan (???) – Dan isn’t a nice guy, so he has to die. Goodbye, Dan!
Dome (???) – Dome has long hair and is a cool-looking dude, too bad about his name. He is dating Yoyo but soon end up on the wrong side of a mad monkey ghost’s fist. He’ll never be a soul singer now!
Yoyo (Annie Roongnapa Brooke) – daughter of Professor, mixed despite both of her parents being Thai, so either she’s somebody’s step-daughter, someone was fooling around, or the director thought we just wouldn’t notice. Annie Brooke is a semi-famous model in Thailand and even has an Idol vcd called Sexy Return. It also looks like she has been in several other low-budget horror films such as Mortal Reflection and Sherry Ann, but I can’t find any personal information about her.
Tick Tack (Jintana Aromyen) – Tick Tack (who might be Tick Tock, but it isn’t spelled that way in the subs) is Dan’s girlfriend and is the hot one of the group (I reject the film’s attempt to make Yoyo the hot one just because she’s mixed. Tick Tack is also the crazy one who loses her mind quickly. Jintana Aromyen can also be seen in Janram aka Blind Moon and Secret Room No. 7 (SR7), both of which I know nothing about except that Janram looks like a vampire lesbian film. 2010 UPDATE: Be glad I wrote this years before Ke$ha appeared and this review isn’t filled with jokes about her waking up and feeling like P. Diddy.
Palm (???) – Joe’s girlfriend and the least of the three girls. I called her Girl3 throughout my notes because they don’t mention her name until after she dies. Spoilers. Palm is not a very faithful girl, so she is the first girl to die. I have no idea who played her.
Kong Koy (???) – A guy in a flea-bitten monkey suit with glowing eyes, who is supposed to be the evil spirit of a wooden doll that was the doll’s first owner and wants it back. Also known as Gonggoi.

I could not identify who actors/actresses Pongsakorn Srijun or Sarus Lao Utaiwattana were, and was unable to identify any of the others. So another incomplete filmography thanks to me not being able to ready every language on the planet.