Go! Godman: Godman vs. Jilarji

aka ゴッドマン対シラージ その1 – その3 aka Goddoman Tai Shiraaji

Week of March 15 – 21, 1973

Sometimes you spank the monkey, sometimes the monkey spanks back…

Of all the monsters Godman fights, Jilarji is the most sympathetic. For he is not a monster that roams the countryside before stumbling across children who call upon their murder god, but instead is a small, frightened monkey who is taunted by a vicious pair of bratty children until he explodes with rage, mutating the monkey into the monstrous Jilarji. Yes, this is a monkey who basically becomes the Hulk, and then Godman comes to punish the monkey instead of the children. Hello, these kids are not only being cruel to animals, but this animal was obviously a former lab monkey who had been retired, so now it is fair game for kids to taunt lab monkeys? That’s how Outbreak scenarios happen, Godman!

Jilarji is a cross-eyed monkey monster with a silver skull face and a random horn on the top of his head. He’s cool enough he was made into toys and shows up again in a few other things. Sometimes he’s called Shiraji and there is argument of which is the official translation of his name.

Jilarji is the second half of the week’s adventures, Godman had just spent three days (presumably) slaughtering Totsaurus. But those episodes aren’t important enough for use to get to see, so just forget about them. Just remember these episodes, the ones deemed acceptable by the random DVD gods.

Two rude bratty children in short shorts tease a poor monkey in a cage with a stick. This proves to be ill-advised, and not just because PeTA will say things about you on the radio. The monkey explodes into the new monster, Jilarji. Jilarji is unable to extract revenge upon the children, who immediately call for Godman to save them. Godman is a servant of the spoiled child class and instantly appears to protect his masters from their own folly.

There is a lot of punching and slapping as the two fight. Jilarji then grows big to tower over Godman. We all know Godman will grow big also, but first, we tsuzuku to next time!

As predicted, Godman grows big as well. It’s like I’m Nostradomas or something. Despite Godman shooting Jilarji a few times, Jilarji is getting the better of Godman and is on top choking him to death like it’s some sort of creepy sex thing. It might be, maybe Godman is one of those guys who needs to be choked to get off, like David Carradine. It’s sort of weird to be doing it in the middle of a battle, but whatever floats your boat, right? I would like to point out that Godman is literally being choked by a monkey. Tsuzuku to next time to see if he lives, or finishes, or not.

Godman and Jilarji continue to struggle with each other like titanic lovers, rolling on the ground into the nearby town. Godman whips out his flail and starts whallupping Jilarji! Godman introducing sex toys to their public session? To be expected from this perv!

Godman doesn’t even do his normal finishing moves on Jilarji. Instead, he just beats up the monkey monster some more, and tosses him over a hill, where the monster promptly explodes for no reason.

The children are free to bully more and more innocent creatures until they explode into monstrous rage and threaten millions of lives. Where are those Godman opponents who kidnap children when you needs them? Remember, this is not the only time a Toho tokusatsu mercilessly slaughtered a monster derived from an innocent primate! It’s like Godman and Zone Fighter were in a competition to be evil or something.

Fuck you, Godman!

For more Godman atrocities, check out the Godman Splash Page, and expect more as March of Godzilla: Godman continues!