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For the Triumph of Evil Sleepy Hollow

Gatchaman teaser and images

Gatchaman

Gatchaman (ガッチャマン) is a live-action film based on the long-running anime series (the US version were known as Battle of the Planets, G-Force, and Eagle Riders) that will be released August 24, 2013. A teaser trailer was just dropped, along with an image containing character bio information for the main five team members. Basically, Gatchaman is like a Power Rangers Captain Planet.

Set in the near future in Tokyo, Japan. The evil terrorist organization Galactor has declared war on the world. The group possesses more advanced technology than governments and occupies over half of the planet. Dr. Kozaburo Nambu of the International Science Organization gathers together 5 superhero ninja agents, known collectively as Gatchaman, to stop Galactor.

Starring:
Tori Matsuzaka as Eagle Ken
Go Ayano as Condor Joe
Ayame Gouriki as Swan Jun
Tatsuomi Hamada as Swallow Jinpei
Ryohei Suzuki as Owl Ryu


Gatchaman

Hwarang V Trio

Here is cat girl Rina Takeda fighting other cat girls


Rina Takeda has taken a break from kicking people in the face to dress as a cat girl and kick cat girls in the face. In Battlecats (バトルキャッツ), Rina plays a cat on the run and bounty hunter cats chase her down in this short about battles in the world of cats. This is part of some series of shorts that premiere on NHK in Japan and are voted on. You can read more about it on this increasingly confusing website that’s in Japanese. I honestly don’t know if this is a trailer and the short will be longer, or multipart, or what. Guess I’ll find out in a few days when this airs. Until then, we wait. And follow news of the short on twitter.

What I could figure out was the insistence that the fight work is done with no CG and no wirework. That alone will make it cool.

I guess Battlecats used to be a thing? But I have no clue what this even is or if it is related.

Rina Takeda Battlecats

Yatterman

Yatterman

aka ヤッターマン aka Yattāman

2009
Screenplay by Masashi Sogo
Story by Tatsuo Yoshida
Directed by Takashi Miike

Yatterman
It’s posin’ time!

Yatterman is a big pile of dumb fun. Based on a cartoon show from back in the day (back in the Japan day) of 1977. Smart people (or people who know how to quickly Google things) will know that Yatterman was the second show in the Time Bokan Series, which is a group of cartoons from Tatsunoko Productions. The cartoons evolve and feature similar groups of heroes and villains. Yatterman was the longest running series, and has even sported a revival cartoon in 2008.

Yatterman is about two super-heroes who fight a variety of monsters/giant robots that are the work of the Doronbo Gang, baddies attempting to get the pieces of the Skull Stone together to awful things will happen…and also the Doronbo Gang gets rich. The hero is the teenage son of a toy store owner who has modified his dad’s toys into weapons to fight evil, and does so with his girlfriend. Yes, the concept is nuts, and that’s why we love it.

Yatterman
Subtext? What’s that?

Genre fans of Takashi Miike might be disappointed that there is no slicing of nipples, piano wire, or transexuals firing darts from their vaginas. But then, if that’s still all you expect from Miike by now, you really need to get out more. This isn’t 2001, people. Miike brings his usual over-the-top exuberance to Yatterman, this time translating it into the cartoony style that fits perfectly with the universe.

The Yatterman world is a ridiculous one, but also full of whimsy and wonder. Evil villains scheme and build giant robot machines, but are easily defeated. Characters are both stereotypical archetypes but also complex and developed personalities underneath.

Yatterman
The extra Ds are for a double dose of Doronbo!

Like all the best films, the villains are a thousand times more interesting than the heroes. Lady Doronjo is the hot girl who is evil, yet also hopelessly in love with her biggest nemesis. Tonzura aspires to be a wrestling champion and barely seems evil, while Boyacky is that guy who’s leering at you the entire bus ride. He’s also a mechanical genius and hopelessly in love with Lady Doronjo.

The entire film is packed with sexual innuendo. By innuendo, I mean totally blatant. Giant robots have breasts or what looks suspiciously like a giant wang (and all of these things fire things out of them) and there is a disturbing scene involving robot ants. Yatterman is one big pervert’s paradise.

Throughout the film, The Doronbo Gang embarks in a series of scams to acquire a large amount of money to build their mechanical creations in order to battle the Yatterman squad. Their methods are often genius, and all three of them could easily find legitimate employment and make buckets full of money, but they love the freedom of being able to do whatever they want, and also the dream of getting even richer and more powerful.

Yatterman
This is the best movie ever.

Because this film is weirdtacular and strange, it must be thoroughly examined and gets a full scale breakdown. Yatterman style!

Takada Gan/Gan-chan/Yatterman No. 1 (Sho Sakurai) – Takada Gan is the son of a toy store owner who builds his own mecha out of his father’s toys. Dresses up as Yatterman No. 1 to battle evil, and ropes his girlfriend along with him. Sho Sakurai is part of the male singing group Arashi
Kaminari Ai/Ai-chan/Yatterman No. 2 (Saki Fukuda) – Gan-chan’s girlfriend who goes and plays Yatterman with him as Yatterman No. 2. Becomes rather jealous of Takada Gan as other women begin to show interest in him.
Lady Doronjo (Kyoko Fukada) – Leader of the Doronbo Gang and sexy woman of desire of more than one main character. Wants to be rich, but also wants to settle down and get married. Leads her group’s search of the Skull Stones.
Boyacky (Katsuhisa Namase) – Doronbo Gang member who wears a big nose with big rabbit teeth. He builds all the mecha for the group. Is also a gigantic perv, probably the biggest pervert on the planet. Katsuhisa Namase specializes in playing characters who wear comical wigs, which I didn’t know was a thing.
Tonzura (Kendo Kobayashi) – Tough guy of the Doronbo Gang who wears a pig nose, because wearing animal noses are where it’s at these days. Dreams of becoming an amazing wrestler.
Yatterman
If you count all the skulls in this movie, you will unlock the secret number from the movie Pi!

Cat Girl Kiki (Review)

Cat Girl Kiki

aka 萌えキュン@MOVIE 猫耳少女キキ aka Moekyun@Movie Nekomimi Shojo Kiki

2007
Directed by Akiyoshi Sugiura

Everything seems cool until you see her giant kitty litter box!

The Akihabara Trilogy are in essence fetish movies for lovers of girls in costumes. Legend of the Doll and Pretty Maid Cafe are also not very interesting films, and barely even worth mentioning beyond the titles. Cat Girl Kiki, however, has an extra spark of dark what the fuck that makes it memorable, even though it’s completely awful. Cat Girl Kiki will suck the joy out of you and make you question life.

I’m not sure they told Yui Kano anything about her role before they glued cat ears to her head and started filming.

Now, we at TarsTarkas.NET respect when filmmakers take risks. I love it when things happen that are completely different and a director or writer goes against type to try to make something new and magical. And while Cat Girl Kiki could have just been a fun romp with a guy and his magical cat girl having adventures, instead we get a look at a deeply disturbed individual and what happens when you read too much manga and do nothing else.

Psst! I’ll slip you a $20 and some catnip if you break me out of this joint!

Now, it is impossible to discuss the film properly without spoilers, so expect everything to be revealed as I put this film on blast.

Kiki (Yui Kano) – Kiki is a cat girl who appears first as a kitten adopted by Yoshiro, and morphs into a cat girl the next morning. Thus Yoshiro has to teach her how to be human. Too bad he didn’t teach her how to actually exist, because she doesn’t. Spoilers! If anyone is seriously upset over spoilers over a cat girl movie, get a life. Yui Kano is a seiyu. I don’t know what that is. I don’t want to know what that is.
Yoshiro Takagi (Teruaki Uotani) – A loveable loser. Well, not really, he’s more of a pathetic loser with a large collection of prominently displayed porn mangas, costume fetishes, and feline fetishes. His girlfriend cheats on him because he’s so boring, and he withdraws into a freaky fantasy world. A real hikikomori.
Yuka Sanada (Minami Aoyama) – Girlfriend of Yoshiro who decides she needs someone else’s penis inside her. Yet they end up together in the end. Minami Aoyama is a Japanese porn star that you probably saw in Confinement Chair Restriction Trance. Which I think is a subgenre of electronic music…
Shingo Noda (Katsuya Kobayashi) – Yuka’s friend and bathtime fun partner, unfortunately their bathtime fun happens while she is dating Yoshiro, which sends him into a spiral of despair and delusion. Katsuya Kobayashi was also in Kamen Rider Kabuto: God Speed Love and Linda Linda Linda. I would be derelict in my duty to not mention he looks creepy.
Anime. The movie.

Space Battleship Yamato

Space Battleship Yamato

aka Space Battleship ヤマト aka Supesu Batorushippu Yamato

2010
Written by Shimako Sato
Story by Yoshinobu Nishizaki
Directed by Takashi Yamazaki


With the remake trains heading at full speed down the tracks of the movie world, it is only natural that popular franchises like Space Battleship Yamato would become one of the train stations. Space Battleship Yamato (宇宙戦艦ヤマト) was an anime series begun in 1974, it features a continual story arc and was followed up by several sequel series and films and lawsuits. Released in the west as Star Blazers, the anime gained a faithful cult following overseas as well as home. I’ve never seen Star Blazers, though it’s popular enough I’ve become familiar with the concept. Earth under attack by powerful aliens, a lone ship sent on a desperate mission. And that ship just happens to be built in the hull of the infamous World War II battleship Yamato.

This reboot of Space Battleship Yamato takes some cues from the reboot of Battlestar Galactica. More than some cues. Okay, it’s almost a carbon copy of Battlestar Galactica. From the 9-11 inspired opening destruction of Earth’s fleet (which rings way more hollow and is an interesting look at 9-11 from a non-American country) to the characters with templates lifted wholesale (including gender swaps!) to the made up story of hope to inspire a journey across the galaxy, deja vu will deja vu your deja vu. Space Battleship Yamato owes almost its entire existence to Battlestar Galactica, which is odd considering it has a whole original canon to use.

The general concept of the original cartoon using the Yamato was a reference to the final mission of the battleship, which was generally seen as a brave but futile effort to defend Japan before the inevitable defeat. Yamato was seen as a metaphor for the Japanese Empire, double-downed by the name Yamato being a poetic name. Space Battleship Yamato borrows this line of thinking, even going so far as to spell it out to the audience. But the liberal borrowing of concepts and themes from Battlestar Galactica muddies the water. After the Yamato is launched, it becomes a series of episodes with the theme of sacrifice for the greater good. Susumu Kodai has a chip on his shoulder against Captain Okita, believing he abandoned his brother to die. Yuki Mori thinks Kodai leaving the military was abandoning his duty. Kodai violates orders to try to save crew members, endangering the entire ship, but later learns that you can’t avoid Kobayashi Maru forever and sometimes people have to die. Even the ending of the film works on this concept of sacrifice, from the cast thinning to the final actions of Kodai. Characters die, and the survivors will spend far too long thinking about the death in the middle of the action. Time is of the essence, people! These reactions are meant to emphasize the sacrifices, but are so overdone they become distracting. Oddly enough, this focus on duty and sacrifice above all else gives Space Battleship Yamato themes that mimic the thinking of the time of the real battleship Yamato.

The mixed messages cause Space Battleship Yamato to flounder around and lose the emotional punches it needed. I am not familiar enough with the original show to know if it was similarly muddled. The liberal borrowing from another source is also a big red mark against it. The visual effects are wonderful, especially considering the lower budget. It is a nice looking film. But looks are only skin deep, and Space Battleship Yamato is like one of those hollow chocolate bunnies. You know it should be filled with chocolate, but it just isn’t, and it’s not what you wanted.

Susumu Kodai (Takuya Kimura) – Former fighter squad leader (the Black Tigers) who left the service, only to come back into action for the Yamato mission. His best friend is an analyzer, basically an iPhone. Lost his brother in the Gamilas ambush. Definitely not Lee Adama.
Yuki Mori (Meisa Kuroki) – Expert Cosmos Tiger fighter pilot who is always prepared. Definitely not Starbuck. Meisa Kuroki was also in Assault Girls.
Captain Juzo Okita (Tsutomu Yamazaki) – Old grizzled captain of the Yamato. Gruff but recognizes potential in people. Able to make tough decisions. Lost his son to the Gamilas forces. Definitely not Bill Adama.
Gamilas (CGI and Masato Ibu) – Aliens who start attacking Earth for unknown reasons. Then tries to stop the humans when they fight back. Desla is the named Gamilas, who are both individuals and a collective mind.

Tokyo Ballistic War Vol.2

Tokyo Ballistic War – Cyborg High School Girl VS. Cyborg Beautiful Athletes Vol.2

aka Tokyo Ballistic War Vol.2

2010
Written by Takashi Misumi
Directed by Eiji Kamikura


Tokyo Ballistic War Vol.2 is here to answer all the questions we had at the end of Tokyo Ballistic War Vol.1. Like “Huh?” and “What?” and “Stop talking to me about Tokyo Ballistic War Vol.1! I’m calling the cops, creepo!” Okay, maybe the last one is just what people around me say as they frantically back away and spray mace, but the story continues. Zen Pictures gets creative, breaking the narrative from the original, as it was about taking down overpowered cyborg athletes, it’s now about saving your friend from fates worse than death. And taking down overpowered cyborg athletes on the side.

All your favorite cyborg devices are back, along with a few new surprises. They clearly wanted the final battle between Ai and Megumi to pack an emotional punch alongside the CGI cyborgial punch. Though Zen Pictures does include all the Zen Pictures tropes, so you fan service and torture fans have your cake as well. But please eat it at a different spot, this is the cool kids table.

As interesting as these films are just for their existence in the middle of a cottage industry of specialized cheap films, they don’t possess enough individual specialness to shine outside of their little corner. But they do make good role models in their little world. If the Tokyo Ballistic War films do anything, I hope they inspire the other Zen Pictures films to aspire higher and better, perhaps paving the way for a true crossover film, or at least helping to build future great filmmakers.

Ai Asaoka (Ayaka Noda) – Schoolgirl with a name similar to Megumi Asoaka, they become fast friends and Ai was then mistakenly turned into a fighting cyborg. She had defeated two Athlete-roids, but has now been captured by the villainous Koumoto.
Megumi Asaoka (Arisa Taki) – Schoolgirl member of the Japanese Sports Association who is friends with Ai. She must now rescue her friend before it is too late.
Chairman Gondo (???) – Chairman of the Japanese Sports Association, he takes the JSA seriously and cannot allow cyborg enhancements to ruin the purity of the games. He lost an eye, but like Nick Fury, it is never explained why…
Koumoto (???) – Evil executive at Dainippon and main proponent of the Athlete-roid technology. Is arrogant enough in his creations to not worry about the JSA’s meddling. Is threatening to rebuild Ai in evil form.
Kozue Hara – DNJ-01 – (Yuka Inoue) – Dead.
Ami Adachi – DNJ-02 – (Moe Aizawa) – Dead
Kyoko Yamaguchi – DNJ-03 – (Serika Noda) – Member of the wrestling team and dominates her opponents on the mat. Has a special vest that allows domination, and can crush with her giant hand stompers.
Hitomi Oka – DNJ-04 – (Momo Kasuga) – Member of the tennis team who lobs bombs at her opponents. And I don’t mean tennis bombs! Or do I…? Momo Kasuga is an adult film star.