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star wars 7 cast

Let’s have Very Strong Opinons on the new Star Wars cast!

star wars 7 cast

Which one plays Lumpy???


GRRR! The cast of the new Star Wars film has been announced:

Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film.

Which means it’s time to write a bajillion “thinkpieces” about how this cast is great and I’ve totally heard of all these actors, especially the ones who haven’t been in anything, but also the cast sucks donkey balls because it’s not the dream team or diverse cast I wanted. Where’s my American Indian Jedi at?

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t a few immediate problems with this cast. There’s only one female listed in the new crew, and one black guy. But the most important thing is we know nothing about who they are playing or the plot, so all these new people could just be cameo roles in favor of the old school crew, they could be the new stars who the film will lean heavily on, or they could be the younger versions of characters different actors will play later. Anyone could be the villain (Driver was long rumored) or villains, Serkis is probably a whole pack of weird CGI things, and someone might even be gay! (but probably not…)

Still, it would be cool to have two ladies and not just Daisy Ridley. It would be cool to have two black guys and not just John Boyega (where the heck is Lando???) It would be cool if this film was already made so we could be spared two years of articles that make this article look like a shining example of genius. Let the plot rumors and angry nerd screeds swirl around, I’ll be dodging them with my Jedi skills and wait for either something official, or something from the few people who give accurate spoilers despite Abrams’ mystery box.

It does stand to reason that either Boyega or Ridley will be the main stars among the younger crew (their names are listed first for some reason…) Which means the leads of a big budget blockbuster will either be a black guy who isn’t Will Smith (or his kid) or a woman. Or both. Sadly, that’s better than a huge chunk of blockbuster films.

As regular readers of TarsTarkas.NET know, we don’t jump into the casting rumor hype game that often. Partially because for many films there is a new rumor every day (that’s then debunked within hours), and partially because if I’m going to fish for pageviews, I’d like to write about what I want to write about, and not chase the latest pre-debunked rumor that Johnny Depp is rumored to play Jabba’s Butt in Star Wars 9. Which he would be terrible at! But we’re making an exception here because it’s Star Wars and I like doing sort of meta-topics that turn out to be less meta than I hoped when they’re all done. It’s either that, or join the new cottage industry of writing articles about just who in the heck Daisy Ridley is!

So that’s it for now, stay tuned for the next time a major news event happens when I have free time during lunch and can write a bit! If you have some Very Strong Opinions, feel free to share them below, that’s what the internet is for!

Also Lawrence Kasdan is in that photo, which is awesome.

via Star Wars

Ogon Batto

"I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars" – You in a few years


Or maybe not, if you are in to this sort of thing! Because we’re getting yearly Star Wars films beginning in 2015! First up will be J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars Episode VII, followed by alternating spin-offs and trilogy films. I’m sure the internet is filled with a bunch of opinions about this, so feel free to check them out. As for me, I’m on the wait and see plan, which doesn’t fill internet columns with paragraphs of angry bile, but does allow me to get on with my day. I will say that people seem to hate Star Wars, but seem to love their idealized version of Star Wars. It’s all very interesting, but I’m just going to be a spectator than participate in the melee.

Then I can loot the dead! MuHAHAHAHA!!!

via yahoo
Disney Star Wars

Zanbato – J.J. Abrams does Japanese swashbuckling robots with swords

I must be a bad nerd, as I can’t really get excited over the prospect of Japanese “swashbuckling robots with swords” anymore. Largely due to the fact I’ve been burnt so many times by big budget films I’m just bitter about everything. Heck, look at what Sucker Punch promised vs. what it delivered. I have every right and reason to be pessimistic. But, we’ll see what we see when we get more information. J.J. Abrams usually doesn’t tell anyone anything about his films for a while, building buzz or what not, and giving them code names like Zanbato. Again, I’m getting sick of that as well. Not everything that is a big top secret project deserves to be a big top secret project. And if another studio wants to rush out a Japanese robot sword movie, more power to them. Someone has to make a film that isn’t terrible some day. J.J. Abrams’ Fringe writers Monica Breen and Alison Schapker are rewriting Zanbato as I type. Okay, maybe not exactly as I type. One of them may have went to the bathroom or something.

No, you're supposed to have swords! SWORDS! Stupid robot.

Star Trek XI movie photos shotgunned across the web

Entertainment Weekly is getting an exclusive look at the new Star Trek reboot, complete with exclusive photos. To celebrate, photos have been given to six websites, one apiece, to drive up the hype/noise. These pictures are problematic IMHO for several reasons, most notably that they killed most of my enthusiasm. And the road to box office success runs through TarsTarkas.NET!

Most of the photo descriptions I will leave to the respective websites, but some are self-explanatory. And I saved the nerd rage until the end, so you can skip it if you don’t care.

Prepare yourself for a torrent of photos that you have probably seen reprinted all over the web:

EW cover:
EW Cover
UPDATE: FULL ARTICLE LINK

MTV photo:
Star Trek Bridge

AICN photo:
Star Trek Sylar

UGO photo:
Star Trek Cast
Chekov (Anton Yelchin), Kirk (Chris Pine), Scotty (Simon Pegg), McCoy (Karl Urban), Sulu (John Cho), and Uhura (Zoe Saldana)

IGN photo:
Star Trek Ice Kirk

Trekmovie.com photo:
Star Trek USS Kelvin

JoBlo photo:
Star Trek Nero

Other photos:

The Enterprise:
Enterprise

New USS Kelvin picture:
Star Trek Kelvin HiRes

debuts in theaters May 8, 2009
New Trailer will be with Quantum of Solace November 14th

Nerd crap: Black uniform is stupid, the new bridge looks like an iPod store, Chris Pine has a gigantic forehead, the photo of Spock attacking looks like Sylar is about to feed on Kirk’s brain, Chekov’s hair is dumb, Chekov shouldn’t even be there, the cloth pattern on the uniforms is annoying (and is supposedly the Star Trek symbol, but who cares?)

This looks just different enough to tick off loyal fans while being annoying enough to turn off new people. Hooray. JJ Abrams may have made a worse film than Nemesis!

I’ll wait until the full trailer until I dismiss it completely. There is still hope.