First up is some random film about a bunch of people who have sex, use vibrators, bang on a dude’s junk with a hammer (and then a girl satisfies his bandaged unit.) This is followed up by going on some sort of stage show/seminar/home shopping channel and sexing it up Japan style. No clue what the title is, but if you can translate it you can order this fine DVD for some reason:
Next up is a movie designed like some show that looks like guys nailing girls with random jobs, trying to get to 100 girls. The professions include a massage girl, some girl in a mardi gras costume, a ballerina, and it looks like #100 is a reporter. There are also Chikans (Japanese subway perverts) who factor into the plot somehow. All of this seems to be produced by a boob-themed tv show that seems to be putting on a contest. This film is odd, but not enough craziness or fun for my taste.
The third entry is the highlight and why this article was written…a film with ninjas! Titled Bin Bin or something, starring a ninja dude with ratty teeth that make British smiles look like Crest City. This is a costumed film, much like a future review here called Queen Bee Honey. The trailer lets us know the film is filled with sex sex sex sex sex sex, but it also features some wacky characters:
Ninja Girl
Other Girl
Girl in Cat Costume
America Girl – She has red white and blue panties, and is all pro-USA.
Evil Devil Girl
Nerdy Ninja Girl
Random Nerdy Dudes – one has a big fro
The main gnarly-toothed dude can fly thanks to blue screen technology. Blue screens – enabling bad films since the color blue was invented. Another interesting sequence involves the Evil Devil Girl sucking Gnarly Teeth Guy into a black hole where her vagina should be! Someone’s fantasy just go made in Japanese bad teeth form!
There are also ninja fights, and best of all, a giant robot that steps on the two girls operating it. Giant robots in softcore porn, I think this is a first.
This film looks like fun city.
Next – There is some sort of magic act to make a foam dildo by a hot chick, this is the intro to the next movie. It has a plot that seems to be about a UFO, except there is also parts that look like The Ring. Some sort of low budget science fiction spoof. The title might be Yrick, because that word keeps appearing on the screen, and there doesn’t look to be a title screen.
So some girl yells at you, so buy the DVD, because she yelled at you to! You don’t want to anger the random Japanese movie starlet, do you?
The final trailer can be described as thus –
Kyoko is some girl who wants to be martial artist or something, she has glasses and a sports bra. Her training seems to be pulling trains with all the dudes. That’s like ten guys at once. This is some sort of gang-bang karate. Forget 8 Diagram Pole Fighter, this is Ten Guys’ Poles Taker. There is some other girl who is pulling trains as well, I guess she is the rival. They keep pulling trains until the girl who pulls the most trains wins. This movie would be good if you like seeing women have sex with lots of dudes at once, but don’t like it to be actual porn. You know, what we really need is a softcore film about train operators who have lots of sex, because that hasn’t been done yet! Imagine all the time you could film with stock shots of trains entering tunnels. Skanks on a Train.
Kyoko is called a loser by the guys in her train, but the fight is on, so she keeps gang-banging away! It is a movie to show you the triumph of the human spirit. I could be completely wrong on the plot, but Japanese trailers are confusing.
