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Hong Kong breaking out the Sci-Fi

Hong Kong films seem like they want to get back to not being so terrible, and have done a good job recently. Now they got a Science Fiction trilogy in the works.

Science Fiction Trilogy Planned for Hong Kong
April 2007
Hong Kong cinema, often defined by its gangster and action pictures, will have a rare treat of a new big-budget science fiction trilogy. New writer-director Daniel Chan is currently prepping for “Exodus”, the US$12.8 mn opening installment of the trilogy which is scheduled to start shooting in the territory towards year-end.

The CGI-laden “Exodus” is set in a post-apocalyptic Hong Kong when the prosperous Island City treats the working class natives of Kowloon as slaves. The legend has it that a Kowloon native will lead an army that will defeat the Islanders and set the slaves free.

“This is Ten Commandments meets Blade Runner shot like 300,” says Chan. The 25-year-old Hong Kong-born filmmaker was raised in Australia where he made his first feature film Half Lit.

The special effects will be created by Dajoint’s Thomas Chou whose credits include “The Eye 10” and “Perhaps Love”. The dialogue will be mainly in English with some Cantonese.

The new picture will be mostly funded by new Singapore-US film financing company Upside Down Entertainment, a joint venture between Singapore’s production house Upside Down Concepts and Mark Byers’ Quixotic Media Group of the US which aims to bring western film financing strategies to Asia.

Before “Exodus”, Daniel Chan will direct “Jiang Hu Yi” this summer, a US$3.5 mn gangster epic backed by Mei Ah Entertainment and produced by veteran actor Eric Tsang. He is also attached as associate producer to Stanley Kwan’s upcoming project “The Green Mansion”.

“This is Ten Commandments meets Blade Runner shot like 300” does not instill me with much confidence that it will be plot driven, but if it delivers good action maybe that can be overlooked. The English language means they are going to be trying to get it distributed worldwide (like Naked Weapon was)

science_fiction

Bruce Lee in New Guinea

Bruce Lee in New Guinea (Review)

Bruce Lee in New Guinea

aka She nu yu chao aka Bruce Li in New Guinea

1978
Starring
Bruce Li (Ho Chung Tao) as Chang Wang-li (aka Bruce Lee)
Chan Sing as Great Snake Wizard Guru
Danna as Ann Kawa
Chin-kun Li as Chin Sang
??? as Tu Yung – one of the guides (shorter)
??? as The crosseyed guide
??? as Cheng Pow
Directed by C.Y. Yang

Bruce Li is Bruce Lee is Chang Wang-li in Bruce Lee in New Guinea, part of Bruce-ploitation Mania of the 1970’s and 1980’s. Bruce Li (real name Ho Chung Tao) was one of the dozens of Bruce Lee imitators renamed Bruce Something or Something Lee in the wake of the death of the King of Kung Fu. Bruce Lee ended up doing all sorts of wacky things once every other movie coming out of Hong Kong was patterned after him to make a quick buck. This is not as wacky as some of them (The Clones of Bruce Lee anyone?) but is still pretty silly. The real question is, would the real Bruce Lee bother going to New Guinea? I think not! Bruce Lee (Li) does end up on Snake Worship Island, I don’t want to give away what they worship there, but it isn’t King Kong. Let’s just say Wacking Day would be a sacrilegious event. It’s important to note that Bruce Li is not supposed to be Bruce Lee, but some guy named Chang Wang-li, an anthropologist who is not a former 1970’s martial arts star, thus the “Bruce Lee” in the title is a complete lie. Not that the producers would care after they got your hard earned money. Sometimes this film is more truthfully titled Bruce Li in New Guinea. Co-starring is the lovely Danna as the Princess, who was being pushed as an international sex symbol at this time, but soon faded to obscurity. Much like this film, except it was never pushed as anything more than a cheap buck, and it shows that, in spades.

Summer Lover

Summer Lover (Review)

Summer Lover

aka Xia ri qing ren

1992
Starring
Alfred Cheung Kin-Ting as Ting
Veronica Yip Yuk-Hing as Siu-Yuk
Vivian Chow Wai-Man as Liza
Loletta Lee Lai-chun as Janet
Max Mok Siu-Chung as Chung
Russell Wong as Zeniger
Directed by Clifton Ko Chi-Sum

A lovable loser meets the girl of his dreams, only she’s a spirit sent by magical VCD to obey his commands. This timeless tale hit the modern update, though it’s been played out in many media over the years. From genies in bottles to magic internet women, the story has been told many times before, and will be told many times after. This particular telling, though, is the one we are interested in. Summer Lover is not just an NC-17 late-night sex movie. In fact, there is little sex, though it’s in there. Most of the film is lighthearted comedy, in the vein of the early 1980’s teenager movies with the adult joke, aka the legion of bad Porky’s clones that dotted the 1980’s like beer cans on the side of the highway Sunday morning. Summer Lover‘s biggest difference is the particular method of the ladies. The women come out via magical VCD, a technology that’s getting phased out for DVDs. VCDs are huge in China and Asia, while VHS reigned supreme here in America. The women call themselves Laser Ladies, where in the US they’d be VHS Vixens, and now would be DVD Dolls. See, timeless!

This film is based on the Japanese Manga Video Girl Ai, which I have never read and have no intention of reading ever. I guess magazines where women come to life from VCDs is popular or something, but if Marvel ever put out something like that, it would probably almost sell as well as the New Universe titles. Anyone remember that? I was like 7, but I knew a bad decision when I saw one.

Our hopeless hero is Lifeguard Ting (Alfred Cheung), who is the total stereotype dateless guy. He’s got the bad hair, the big glasses, the bad job, and is a total klutz. Ting yearns for his love Liza (Vivian Chow), who he’s friends with but cannot get. Whenever Ting sees Liza, he bleeds, calling it the “Blood of Heroes.” Today is Ting’s birthday, but Liza cannot attend his party tonight. Ting’s friend is named Zeniger (Russell Wong), who is also Liza’s on again/off again man. Zeniger is a pretty boy, overshadowing his odd name. Ting has another friend named Chung, who is the movie’s horndog character. Ting’s party for the evening turns out to be just a tape for lonely guys that pretends to have a party going on. Ting’s friend Chung calls him up and wants to go looking for some “instant noodles” (aka prostitutes), but they end up going to a VCD store (aka a Laser Shop.) A magic VCD store (aka a Magic Laser Shop.) Run by a white guy. A magic white guy. You know he’s magical because he’s effeminate and is wearing a white long-haired wig. Luckily, he’s Cantonese fluent and can direct the two boys around, as he says the shop is specially made for brokenhearted people. Ting’s first impulse is to buy a Donald Duck VCD (which would have made a very odd sex movie….) but the manager directs the two lonely guys to the adult section. He gives them some special VCDs, each one featuring a different lady. Different magic ladies.

My Kung Fu Sweetheart (Review)

My Kung Fu Sweetheart

aka Ye maan bei kup

2006
Starring
Cecilia Cheung as Phoenix Shangguan Lingfeng
Yuen Qiu as Mom
Yuen Wah as Dad
Wong Yat-Fei as Principal
Leo Ku as Dragon
Sammy Leung as Kiddie Kim
Hui Siu-Hung as Lincoln Lam
Ma Shuchao as White Eyebrows
Wong Jing as Uncle Itchiban
Directed by Wong Jing

Wong Jing directs another campy action-fest, and manages to score a hit. A send-up of kung fu films, Cecilia Cheung stars as the daughter of two kung fu masters, who learns the skills herself, but must fit into the modern world. Of course, we have an evil kung fu master, school rivalries, a guy in a falcon suit, and love to deal with. The parents are played by Kung Fu Hustle‘s own odd couple, Yuen Qiu and Yuen Wah. They seem to be making a good living acting together, besides this, they also have starred in two Kung Fu Mahjong films together. We also get a crop of campy actors mixed with many established actors, and even Wong Jing himself as Uncle Itchiban. For some reason this film rings better than most of Wong Jing’s recent fair, probably due to the cast working together well enough that you don’t notice when it drags. The gags flow fast, for the most part, and for once the campiness of Hong Kong cinema works out for the best. Though I’s still prefer that Hong Kong put out more stronger fair (and it has been trying recently), camp like this makes the wait between good films bearable.

We start in the distant past of 20 years ago. A young girl sees two people flying past the moon and rushes to tell her parents. Her parents are the smiling Yuen Wah and Yuen Qiu, who both tell her she’s seeing things. They are the Landlords from Kung Fu Hustle. Yuen Wah has been making films for 35 years, having the ability to duplicate the martial arts styles of many people. This let him be Bruce Lee’s double for a while. Yuen Qiu was an actress for a short time in the 1970’s before retiring, only to return after Steve Chow begged her to take the role of the Landlady in Kung Fu Hustle, and has since then done well for herself in the film industry. Their daughter is named Phoenix, and later a teenage Phoenix is awakened by storms, and a large snake and cat are loose in the house. These animals are really Kung Fu villains, who have arrived to kill her parents, which you should realize by now are really Martial Arts masters. They save her and have a neat fight with the villains, who morph from animal to person a few times during the battle (though we could always use more morphing shots.) Snake Man and Cat Girl are eventually taken down, with Phoenix aiding by slipping up some poles so Cat Girl can’t grip. Phoenix is eager to learn Kung Fu, and her parents are more than happy to tell her she’s old enough to go to Mount Hiu and learn. This is amazingly coincidental that she discovered their secret on the very day she became old enough to get lessons herself! Okay, it’s amazingly cheesy. But this is a cheesy film, so we’ll take it at what it is. Next thing we know, we’re hang gliding over Mount Hui as Phoenix looks down and sees all the Martial Artists training, including a girl in scarlet with pigtails who has a determined look on her face. She’s the main rival, Rouge, who will compete with Phoenix to be the best of the best. This is apparent when she doesn’t return Phoenix’s wave. So, if you ever want to hide that you are a villain, be friendly, it’s what politicians do all the time, as well as John Wayne Gacy, though I’d say anyone fooled by his clown costume deserves it. Clowns are evil, and always will be evil. Deal with it.

Asian Charlie’s Angels (Review)

Asian Charlie’s Angels


2001
Starring
Christy Chung! as An Qi
Kelly Lin Hsi-Lei as ???
Annie Wu Chen-Chun as ???/Zheng Ke Ren
Cheng Jutsi as ???
??? as Feng Ming
??? as Zhong Wen
??? as Pan Jai Xi

It seems America is not the only country where guys named Charlie hire beautiful women to solve crimes. Hong Kong has joined the fun, and their Charlie follows in his American counterpart’s footsteps. What results is a television pilot for a failed Chinese TV series (as best as I can gather from the few available sources) complete with all the bad parts left in that show you why it wasn’t ordered as a full series. Lots of bad spots. A few bright spots show up, but the show mostly contains some odd elements, some things left completely unexplained, and two main characters developed so flimsily that the VCD case this movie came in is thicker. The three Angels are played by some well known actresses, which puts the failure entirely on the shoulders of the writers/directors/producers. How you can score some big names and then fail in every other aspect must take some skill. Well, Uwe Boll pulls it off, but China should be emulating good directors. Christy Chung is the biggest name here of the three, not only is she super hot, but she’s pretty well known internationally. Kelly Lin is also known a bit outside of Hong Kong, as is Annie Wu, but neither to the extent of Christy Chung (Chung was previously seen here in Red Wolf.) Still, they are all big names in Hong Kong, and star power alone should have guaranteed a hit, even moderately. That it didn’t should be a warning sign. A big warning sign. Billboard size. Billboard seen from space size. Billboard seen from outside the galaxy size. What I’m saying is, pretty big. This is technically Part 2, seeming to be the second half of a two-hour pilot, yet it’s pretty stand alone as it is. If I ever run across Part 1, I’ll update this review, but there is no need to wait, especially since there is plenty of pain to go around for this episode, mixed with the guilty pleasure of seeing the hot Angels run around. From what little I’ve found of the missing first half, it has nothing to do with what happens here, anyway. So let’s sail away on the Angel train of adventure. Grab your halo and wings, it will be a bumpy ride…


Red Wolf

The Red Wolf (Review)

The Red Wolf

aka Hu meng wei long

1995
Starring
Christy Chung (!!) as Lai
Kenny Ho as Alan
Elaine Lui as Elaine
Directed by Yuen Woo Ping !!

Die Hard on a boat done Hong Kong style. Done better with Under Siege, but at least this film has Yuen Woo Ping directing, one of the best action choreographers to ever live. So the fight scenes are well-choreographed crap. And it’s got some nice eye candy with Christy Chung playing a waitress/pickpocket. That more than makes up for the rest of this mess. Yes, it’s a mess. If you’re gonna go Die Hard on a boat, you gotta have the Segal. The plot is pretty straightforward, terrorists, hijackings, we’ve all seen it a thousand times before.