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Machete f'ed with the right Wingnuts

Machete started out as a fake trailer in the Tarantino/Rodriguez movie Grindhouse and soon will be its own movie (along with fellow fake trailer Hobo With a Shotgun!) Robert Rodriguez released a special preview trailer on AICN to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, and the trailer is awesome. We got Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Robert DeNero, a special introduction, and more random stars than you can shake a machete at. And a million machetes. You would think everyone would be happy about this trailer, as awesome films please everyone. You would be wrong. To capitalize on the recent news, there is a special message at the beginning of the trailer saying it goes out to Arizona! This has ticked off a bunch of morons on FreeRepublic.com, and now we have our fun! We also pulled quotes from the original FoxNews article FR was linking to. Keep in mind that Fox is distributing the Machete film, so they have an special interest in keeping the movie’s name in the news, even if the way to do it is to have some right wing hack write a column filled with inaccurate information to make the wingnuts angry.

Actual title of the article, thus starting off the fun!
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“Machete – true to life” – Tom Tancredo
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Only liberals swear!
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Mexicans are dumb and heartless!
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Machete will turn America into Conservatopia!
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Vague threats are just another fact of life on FreeRepublic.com!
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Machete is the first shot in RaHoWa 2010!
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I’m OK with the race war that’s totally in my bigoted mind!
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Gay joke out of nowhere!
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Mexicans will bring guns, unlike us, who have totally not been repeatedly saying how good we are with guns in every other post in this thread!
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Guy complaining about violence in a movie while his sig leads to a site where you write fan fiction about shooting minorities and liberals.
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What?
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Machete – a tool of psycho druglords
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Machete naturally leads to black guys raping white women as political statements. Looks like someone’s daughter married a black guy!
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A less-insane freeper rises to the challenge of ansel12
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ansel12 responds with hilarious irony!
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Every crime ever committed by a black on a white was because of Shaft!
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Obama passed Arizona’s laws and then made Machete as an excuse to kill conservatives
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Funny how everyone hates Jessica Alba all of a sudden
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ansel12 is going off the racial deep end
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Young people mimic everything in movies. Just last week I robbed billions in gold while sending the cop who killed my brother on a wild goose chase. But that’s another hobby of mine…
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CodeToad ready to attack Mexico again over a movie.
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Let’s form our own country and start a violent civil war over a movie!
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Wesa gonna die?
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AuntB sure hates the troops for a conservative…
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Wait until this guy finds out that the “mexkins” are mostly Indians!
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Do you get my metaphor? Should I imply I want to shoot people more clearly?
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Cool, an A. Wyatt Mann cartoon! Totally not racist!
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Ask the Indians…about us…who are being invaded by Mexicans…who are Indians…
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All set for Race War 2010 Predator 3!
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wku man is ready to rock and roll! And shoot everyone.
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Time to invade Mexico!
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Machete – Somehow Obama’s fault! Let me show you my images of violent Blacks for no reason except to ranch up the racism!
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Wal-Mart is filled with Mexicans…but I still shop there!
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So let’s go to the original story on FoxNews.com….which has comments!!!!

Throw out 30% of the country!
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Money for nothing and chicks for free!
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Why won’t the government investigate this movie and all the violence it isn’t causing???
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Someone needs to change his diapers!
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Obama caused Machete
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Let’s indiscriminately murder Mexican citizens because of a movie.
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Are we still talking about Machete?
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Like Jesus would do!
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Yep, just read every post above this one!
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Assassinate everyone because of Machete! Way to get past moderation on FoxNews.com
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Machete is the Real Racist!
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Nuke Mexico cuz of Machete! Also the Alamo will be different? Does this supergenius know that they LOST at the Alamo?
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Lock and Load! But we are peaceful!
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poindexter? Welcome to 1959!
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Another guy who doesn’t remember what actually happened at the Alamo.
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taco bending m.a.g.g.o.t.s are the Real Racists!
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SSShhhhhhhhhhh!!
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The dirty little secret is deep in their hearts all Mexicans want to kill you dead! I know it’s true because I made it up myself!
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day in and day out
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Why is Robert Rodriguez the only thing not all-caps? I am guessing because he copy-pasted it.
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Muslim Terrorists are coming in through Cuba! I know, I saw it on the internet!
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Taco Bell is now out $3.00 a week.
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Well, assuming we don’t nuke Mexico and start WW3 over Toy Story 3, Wingnut Web will be back…soon!

Obama has learned the art of satanic magic

Hey, it looks like some idiot on FreeRepublic.com suddenly realized what 2012 was all about and now is going all nutso fantastic on Barack Obama, satanic magic champion. He also must have saw the movie 2012, saw Danny glover as the black president, the world ending, and people on arks, and now thinks that the movie is a prophesy or something. People, this is what happens when Roland Emmerich is allowed to make movies. We all know that Roland Emmerich needs to be stopped, Godzilla is prove enough alone. Just wait until this guy sees Independence Day! So if you want to know about Obama and his satanic magic artistry, here is the post by Armageddon:
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I see nothing wrong with wanting a black guy to be my slave…
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When will blacks learn that we hate them because we love them?
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Bonus random shots! Here is some reaction to a white supremacist getting killed by a black guy. Sadly, I missed a few of the posts which were deleted “because of use of an AP image” even though it was because they were racist. But they missed these other ones…

Obama has ordered blacks to murder all whites!
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Black people are things
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The Whore House is where Obama practices his satanic magic arts!
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The military's very bad week – Collateral Murder and FreeRepublic.com

Several stories have broken in the past week or two that have painted some bad light on the military. Yes, I said painted bad light, just ignore that the phrase makes no sense and go with it. The three major stories are General McChrystal admitting most of the people shot up at Iraqi checkpoints were unarmed, NATO admitting two US special forces soldiers covered up a civilian murders in Afghanistan, and WikiLeaks releasing video of a 2007 incident in Iraq where a photojournalist was killed by the US military and the incident was covered up.

Now, here at TarsTarkas.NET, we support the troops. We support them by not wanting to send them off to die in pointless wars so some schmuck can play dress-up in a pilot suit with a big codpiece. We support them by wanting to send them into battle properly equipped and not “with the army you have.” We support them by wanting an exit strategy not developed by morons. We support them by not wanting a bunch of accountless mercenaries running around who shoot up civilians and cause problems for our forces. We support them by wanting to give them raises. We support them by wanting their rotations in and out of war zones to be done in a responsible manor. We support them by not wanting funding for head trauma cut. We support them by not using them as props to hide behind while launching bombs about who is the real patriots (the same real patriots who are currently waiting for someone to start Revolutionary War II: Through the Portal of Time.)

So these stories are the results of irresponsible morons being in charge of the military industrial complex for decades who have to answer to no one. Arrogancy and entitlement at their finest, with no consequences for anyone except a few low-level fall guys.

Gen. McChrystal: We’ve Shot ‘An Amazing Number Of People’ Who Were Not Threats

In a stark assessment of shootings of locals by US troops at checkpoints in Afghanistan, Gen. Stanley McChrystal said in little-noticed comments last month that during his time as commander there, “We’ve shot an amazing number of people and killed a number and, to my knowledge, none has proven to have been a real threat to the force.”

The comments came during a virtual town hall with troops in Afghanistan after one asked McChrystal to comment on the “escalation of force” problem. The general responded that, in the nine months he had been in charge, none of the cases in which “we have engaged in an escalation of force incident and hurt someone has it turned out that the vehicle had a suicide bomb or weapons in it.”

In many cases, he added, families were in the vehicles that were fired on.

So a large number of innocent civilians are being fired on by US troops. This can’t possibly have any bad consequences for the troops over there now and future relations with Iraqi people over the next fifty years, so let’s move on to the next incident…

US special forces ‘tried to cover-up’ botched Khataba raid in Afghanistan

US special forces soldiers dug bullets out of their victims’ bodies in the bloody aftermath of a botched night raid, then washed the wounds with alcohol before lying to their superiors about what happened, Afghan investigators have told The Times.

Two pregnant women, a teenage girl, a police officer and his brother were shot on February 12 when US and Afghan special forces stormed their home in Khataba village, outside Gardez in eastern Afghanistan.

NATO military officials had suggested that the women were actually stabbed to death — or had died by some other means — hours before the raid, an explanation that implied that family members or others at the home might have killed them.

This will undoubtedly win the hearts and minds of the Afghans as their current thug in chief threatens to join the Taliban.

A video of the July 12, 2007 killing of Reuters photographer Namir Noor-Eldeen, 22, and driver Saeed Chmagh, 40, was released by WikiLeaks on a site called Collateral Murder. Reuters has been trying to get a copy of this video for years.

An original report on the incident

The original reports tried to cover it all up:

The American military said in a statement late Thursday that 11 people had been killed: nine insurgents and two civilians. According to the statement, American troops were conducting a raid when they were hit by small-arms fire and rocket-propelled grenades. The American troops called in reinforcements and attack helicopters. In the ensuing fight, the statement said, the two Reuters employees and nine insurgents were killed.

“There is no question that coalition forces were clearly engaged in combat operations against a hostile force,” said Lt. Col. Scott Bleichwehl, a spokesman for the multinational forces in Baghdad.

More here

a review session after Lt. Col. Ralph Kauzlarich, commander of the Army’s 2nd Battalion, 16th Infantry Regiment and his soldiers returned to base, which “concluded that everyone had acted appropriately.” (Kauzlarich was also involved in the Army’s Pat Tillman cover-up, and later told ESPN that the reluctance of Tillman’s parents to accept the military’s story that he was killed by enemy action, rather than friendly fire, was the unfortunate result of their lack of Christian faith.)

That Kauzlarich is some piece of work…

You can go to the Collateral Murder site and see the video for yourself. I am not embedding it in case you are the one guy who browses here at work and automatically clicks on all YouTube videos before reading what they are about. You know, a guy who is begging to get fired.

The videos are pretty damning that they shot at unarmed civilians.

Now, this is where Wingnut Web comes in! You see, the WikiLeaks story hit FreeRepublic.com! And they reacted pretty darn horribly. As usual!

BARF ALERT!
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It is the kids’ fault for being Iraqis in Iraq!
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All terrorists walk in groups. If you ever walk in a group, it is the same thing as flying a plane into a building and you deserve to die. Keep this in mind for the next teabagger gathering!
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They purposely got their kids shot up in a planned response to an attack happening minutes ago by a guy who just happened to be driving by. Any other reason for what is in the tape is purely propaganda. I have my fingers in my ears LALALALALALALALALA!!!!
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I see nothing wrong with this murder, please help me own some dudes on this economic blog!
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We got a guy calling journalists terrorists, and a guy who thinks all the US people in the video were undercover terrorists. I see.
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He deserved it, because I didn’t like him!
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Good kills. What did you reply? I can’t read it because of all this ejaculate on my monitor after watching this hajis get wasted!
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It was a good shot! If you are not masturbating furiously to this footage and the thoughts of all Arabs dying you are a traitor to America! (we give props to the lone Freeper who isn’t crazy, probably banned now)
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Check out this dumb fuck
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NO MERCY! Especially in my MYSTERY VAN! How about a Scooby Snack! It’s Jihad-licious!
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That’s great, except these were journalists and civilians.
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That camera was totally an rpg! Ung ung ung ung SPLOOOGE!!!
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FreeRepublic.com in a single post.
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Now that your faith in your fellow man is at its lowest, remember….these guys want to vote their leaders into power next election! Are you going to let those guys win?

Wingnut Web – KKK Teabagging Edition

As we reported earlier, the RED ALERT health care protests that the teabaggers were at today was a hotbed of dumb. From racial slurs to morons protesting against people being healthy, it was bad for all. I am sure that killing the bill required yelling nasty stuff. Oh, wait, it didn’t, these people are frakking insane. A story about the racial slurs was publish, which soon became a FreeRepublic thread.

FreeRepublic is on the scene. Denying everything and claiming it was all plants.
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Imagine this like 70 times and you have half of the thread. As for the rest…

“So what” and a call for a “cleansing”. Hmmm…
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CNN could never be that clever
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We’re gonna be shooting you libs, so ignore our racial quips!
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It’s true! Why am I racist over the truth!
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That’s not the word they were yelling, moron
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zerosix needs some therapy
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It’s my right to hang congressmen from my tree
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Wah, wah, us whites are so oppressed
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He IS a negro! What’s the problem again?
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The true purpose was to spew hate without spewing racial slurs, just coded racial slurs…
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Let me get you some diapers, nhwingnut
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things that didn’t happen.txt
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His two sons will be gay liberals.
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It could be our own black teabaggers! Either Rick or that other one…
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At this point, I’m burning crosses in the lawns of tan people.
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Blacks being equal is socialism!!! Also Nazis were for equal rights for all races or something. Basically, Renegade is one of the top 10 dumbest Freepers.
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Blacks just got to get used to me calling them dirty n-s!
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Renegade’s war against helping people (the Jesus way!) continues
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It’s Obama’s fault we’re racist! Wah!
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mojitojoe with the DEAL WITH IT!
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Remember how none of the Freepers would believe this because there was no video?
A video of one of the racial taunts has appeared online:

Wingnut Web – FreeRepublic.com update!

FreeRepublic.com never fails to disgust. It is their special skill. The echo chamber grows louder and louder, the voices more shrill, and the sane are purged. Only the craziest of the crazy survive. It’s rapid evolution to create the most insane conservatives known to man, whose sheer ignorance will create a singularity and engulf the planet. Welcome to the ride to hell! Let’s check out what FreeRepublic.com has been up to recently!

The first few posts are talking about when Lt. Gov Andre Bauer said “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that.”

Freepers are unsurprisingly happy
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WAIT! I’m poor and on government assistance, but I’M DIFFERENT!!
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Tell us how you really feel
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How dare you not insult my wife! PC Thug!
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More on our friend sergeantdave
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sergeantdave ready to lynch everyone who is left than him, which would be 99.44% of the country…
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privatedave needs to take his meds
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Racist picture captions? In MY FreeRepublic.com?
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And now a short play: Yehuda freaks out. A play in two acts.

Act I:
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Act II:
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InspectorSmith is a guy who lied about going to Kenya and produced a fake Obama Birth Certificate that he put on eBay and has been denounced by many other Birthers. Now he is back with more “evidence” (aka trolling for more donations because rent is due)
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My lies are so confusing you need spreadsheets…
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Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Birthers
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two witnesses is the key!
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crazy racist mojitojoe is a Birther???
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Obama is an American pretending to be a foreigner to con the world! Forget 11 dimensional chess, this is 111 dimensional chess!
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The senate hacked my hard drives!
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SatinDoll is still convinced of things that don’t exist beings scrubbed from the internet. Nothing can be scrubbed from the internet
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The FBI doesn’t investigate because you are frakking crazy
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InspectorSmith acts rational and calm, enforcing his argument with a well-reasoned response and with evidence.
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An “ethical hacker”. Right….
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ALERT! ALERT! Bell Curve thread!
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Hmmm…
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You are a slave to your genes.
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Haitians – not human.
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Just what is this guy saying…
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I am sad that I am racist
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I can’t call blacks stupid because of liberals, who are the real racists because they won’t let me be racist!
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Wait, am I going to have to defend a Gun Avatar guy?
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Dumb, racist, and whatever you do, don’t tell him Egyptians invented beer and Egyptians are black!
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FreeRepublic.com….don’t ever change!