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Machete f'ed with the right Wingnuts

Machete started out as a fake trailer in the Tarantino/Rodriguez movie Grindhouse and soon will be its own movie (along with fellow fake trailer Hobo With a Shotgun!) Robert Rodriguez released a special preview trailer on AICN to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, and the trailer is awesome. We got Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Robert DeNero, a special introduction, and more random stars than you can shake a machete at. And a million machetes. You would think everyone would be happy about this trailer, as awesome films please everyone. You would be wrong. To capitalize on the recent news, there is a special message at the beginning of the trailer saying it goes out to Arizona! This has ticked off a bunch of morons on FreeRepublic.com, and now we have our fun! We also pulled quotes from the original FoxNews article FR was linking to. Keep in mind that Fox is distributing the Machete film, so they have an special interest in keeping the movie’s name in the news, even if the way to do it is to have some right wing hack write a column filled with inaccurate information to make the wingnuts angry.

Actual title of the article, thus starting off the fun!
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“Machete – true to life” – Tom Tancredo
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Only liberals swear!
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Mexicans are dumb and heartless!
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Machete will turn America into Conservatopia!
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Vague threats are just another fact of life on FreeRepublic.com!
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Machete is the first shot in RaHoWa 2010!
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I’m OK with the race war that’s totally in my bigoted mind!
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Gay joke out of nowhere!
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Mexicans will bring guns, unlike us, who have totally not been repeatedly saying how good we are with guns in every other post in this thread!
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Guy complaining about violence in a movie while his sig leads to a site where you write fan fiction about shooting minorities and liberals.
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What?
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Machete – a tool of psycho druglords
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Machete naturally leads to black guys raping white women as political statements. Looks like someone’s daughter married a black guy!
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A less-insane freeper rises to the challenge of ansel12
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ansel12 responds with hilarious irony!
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Every crime ever committed by a black on a white was because of Shaft!
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Obama passed Arizona’s laws and then made Machete as an excuse to kill conservatives
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Funny how everyone hates Jessica Alba all of a sudden
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ansel12 is going off the racial deep end
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Young people mimic everything in movies. Just last week I robbed billions in gold while sending the cop who killed my brother on a wild goose chase. But that’s another hobby of mine…
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CodeToad ready to attack Mexico again over a movie.
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Let’s form our own country and start a violent civil war over a movie!
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Wesa gonna die?
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AuntB sure hates the troops for a conservative…
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Wait until this guy finds out that the “mexkins” are mostly Indians!
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Do you get my metaphor? Should I imply I want to shoot people more clearly?
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Cool, an A. Wyatt Mann cartoon! Totally not racist!
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Ask the Indians…about us…who are being invaded by Mexicans…who are Indians…
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All set for Race War 2010 Predator 3!
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wku man is ready to rock and roll! And shoot everyone.
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Time to invade Mexico!
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Machete – Somehow Obama’s fault! Let me show you my images of violent Blacks for no reason except to ranch up the racism!
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Wal-Mart is filled with Mexicans…but I still shop there!
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So let’s go to the original story on FoxNews.com….which has comments!!!!

Throw out 30% of the country!
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Money for nothing and chicks for free!
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Why won’t the government investigate this movie and all the violence it isn’t causing???
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Someone needs to change his diapers!
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Obama caused Machete
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Let’s indiscriminately murder Mexican citizens because of a movie.
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Are we still talking about Machete?
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Like Jesus would do!
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Yep, just read every post above this one!
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Assassinate everyone because of Machete! Way to get past moderation on FoxNews.com
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Machete is the Real Racist!
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Nuke Mexico cuz of Machete! Also the Alamo will be different? Does this supergenius know that they LOST at the Alamo?
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Lock and Load! But we are peaceful!
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poindexter? Welcome to 1959!
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Another guy who doesn’t remember what actually happened at the Alamo.
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taco bending m.a.g.g.o.t.s are the Real Racists!
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SSShhhhhhhhhhh!!
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The dirty little secret is deep in their hearts all Mexicans want to kill you dead! I know it’s true because I made it up myself!
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day in and day out
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Why is Robert Rodriguez the only thing not all-caps? I am guessing because he copy-pasted it.
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Muslim Terrorists are coming in through Cuba! I know, I saw it on the internet!
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Taco Bell is now out $3.00 a week.
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Well, assuming we don’t nuke Mexico and start WW3 over Toy Story 3, Wingnut Web will be back…soon!

Wingnut Web – Reminder That FoxNation.com Is Still Awful Edition

FoxNation.com (or TheFoxNation.com) has been absolutely awful since it first appeared on the scene. The commentors are racist, sexist, horrible human beings who desire nothing better than to kill everyone who is to the left of Hitler Stalin. And they also love typing gibberish. Many of these comments require a codebreaker to decipher all the typos and random nicknames. Some nicknames even threw me for a loop, and I’ve been doing this for a year or so now. But don’t take my word for it…

Janeane Garafalo – the most powerful woman in the world!
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Bright red user names!?! Looks like FoxNation updated their coding since last we were there…
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MiSalesGal is eagerly counting the days until she can shoot libs (minorities) in the street
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Literally ever Republican who posts on FoxNation.com is a tweaking psychopath
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Crazy .JPGs as user names! Wow, looks like the code is broken instead of updated…
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Liberals want to kill everyone. That’s why they start all the wars…
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If you’re gonna call out people for namecalling, don’t be namecalling in the exact same post!
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Red Dawn MoFo here cracked me up with the “joy rides in our AirCrafts” bit. Mission Accomplished!
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Someone got served!
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The British control America? That’s a new one…
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Oh, Wacky.JPG User Name, will you ever be not a moron?
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Zerep11′ is going to be a very disappointed old man in 2011…
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Wait, are liberals turds or donkeys? And are you going to destroy us or flatten us? Make up your mind!
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I love Pick Slips!
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Wait, I thought it was Communist Nazi Socialist Marxism!?
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DE MEO is still around and still as stupid as ever
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What does it spell?
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“Only Leftist Ridicule!” says Insulting .JPG User Name guy!
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I like military metaphors!
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He’s got my names! NOOOOOoooOOOOoooOOooOOOoooOOooO!!!!!
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Why won’t young people listen to my bitter old man rants?
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Blacks are not Americans.
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Minorities are slaves and Liberals are the real racists!
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Bi-polar Oath Keepers, raping children at a rally near you!
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What?
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Seriously, why are you guys complaining about no one speaking English so much when none of you can type English to save your life!
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If you don’t hate Obama, you are a non-colored Anti-American.
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Jackie Chan was surprised to wake up today and find out he was white. Also LOL racism in the last sentence.
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Racists slap liberals in the face every day? That’s pretty mean!
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There is none so blind except those who accidentally shot themselves in the eye while cleaning their guns in AZ.
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What the frak?
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Blacks are the real racists and also I keep pie charts about Obama’s ethnicity.
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My son brought home stuff on MLK right after MLK day, obviously Schools are the real racists!
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Obama caused all racism. Ever.
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“Stop calling me a racist because I don’t support Obama!”
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What’s the matter with larrykansas?
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Ah, FoxNation.com. Horrible!

Wingnut Web – MSNBC Started All Racism Edition

Yesterday we brought you part one of an exciting expose of racism in “approved by moderation” comments on theFoxNation.com. Now we present Part 2, where the Racial Holy War (RAHOWA) reaches new heights of open racism and no sign of FoxNation.com moderators stopping this. All comments are approved by moderators. So we can only assume that Fox News and NewsCorp by extension see nothing wrong with what you are about to read.

wakeuppeople shows how truly despicable the typical FoxNation poster is
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Even blacks want to move away from blacks. I have no concept of how crushing poverty breeds crime.
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A FoxNation.com poster welcomes a race war, and gets two people agreeing with him!
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Renewed? More like openly exposed in the likes of you.
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Obama is literally Hitler because of things I can’t be bothered to even briefly list. But it’s true!
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Gee, if I make fun of this KKK solder mother frakker, I’ll be accused of hating the troops! But fuck this guy.
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What? The? Hell? Is? With? The? Question? Marks? ??
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When I read posts like this, I cry.
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FoxNation.com approves this comment. NewsCorp approves of their audience longing to kill minorities in a race war.
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wakeuppeople continues to be totally racist.
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This comment starts out weird, but then Jaimo shows up and totally makes you want to nuke FoxNation’s servers from orbit.
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Black people should bow down and kiss my ring because of Michael Jordon getting money or something.
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All stay at home moms are parasites, gotcha.
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Seth Oregon is the king of RAHOWA
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MSNBC is entirely responsible for racism in America
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I am not sure what Megan Fox has to do with RAHOWA, but then FoxNation.com is stupid.
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That’s just FoxNation.com. I am sure FreeRepublic will be racism free……when pigs fly!!!! Tune in to the next Wingnut Web to see the Freepers declare their RAHOWA love!

Wingnut Web – Brainwashing Children for Fun and Profit Edition

Barack Obama’s gonna brainwash your kids! On September 8, Barack Obama plans to give a televizes speech to schoolchildren broadcast into schools. This might seem like something harmless, maybe a fun diversion from listening to your teacher talk about the Pilgrims for the 1000th time (will school history classes ever reach WW2?) or at worst, a waste of an hour where kids didn’t get to learn any algebra. But some parents find something sinister in the president of the United States wanting to speak to schoolchildren. They think it is a brainwashing attempt to indoctrinate their children into Hitler youth Brownshirt programs. You might think I am making this up, but I am not. You cannot write this stuff, the Wingnuts have taken crazy to a whole other level!

I mean, what other presidents have addressed schoolchildren? Sure, George H. W. Bush had a speech for kids where he ptiched his education plan in 1992 (that would be when he was running for reelection!)

And terrible president Ronald Reagan addressed children to talk about taxes, God, and gun laws…

PRESIDENT REAGAN: Well, thank you very much. Please, be seated. You know, this is a real treat for me, having you here, and to have in a little while the chance to answer some of your questions. Let me also offer a special hello to those of you who are watching on C-Span, or the Instructional Television Network. Thank you for inviting us into your home or your school today …

And that is a vision that goes beyond economics and politics, it’s also a moral vision, grounded in the reverence and faith of those who believe that with God’s help, they could create a free and democratic nation …

Because you see, the taxes can be such a penalty on people that there’s no incentive for them to prosper and to earn more and so forth because they have to give so much to the government …

There was talk about having a gun ban in California. It didn’t go through. But I got a letter from a man in San Quentin Prison. And from the prison he wrote me the letter to tell me he was in there for burglary, he was a burglar. And he said, “I just want you to know that if that law goes through, here in San Quentin there will be celebrating throughout the day and night by all the burglars who are in prison.”

Let’s never forget President George W. Bush was reading to kids when plans were slamming into the World Trade Center. But none of that matters because none of those presidents were Marxist Communist Socialist Nazi Muslim African Liberals like B. Hussein Obama!

Resistnet.com leads the charge to yank the kids out of school! Follow the lead of some lady who types in all caps!
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Let’s all die on hills or something!
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Obama’s secret distraction EXPOSED!
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NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS! NEVAR FORGETS!
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I’d only support guys who were nailing their slaves to talk on TV (and if they did, they would be zombies and would eat kat 1776’s non-existent brains)
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A typical theFoxNation.com response…
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FoxNews.com let’s us know Liberals are the Real Racists!
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mara123 can spot a Hitler a mile away!
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nysportsfan (who lives in Texas for some reason) harassed her school principal with all caps emails until he was powerless to resist her
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If the President drops below 50 mph, he will explode!
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Seriously, liberals, why are you all horrible and want us to die?
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Obamazz totally hates the Jews.
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A speech so secret none shall hear it!
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holypig would be the first person killed in Civil War II when he has a heart attack after walking to his gun cabinet.
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He stepped over all these lines, like he was President or something!
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tonyd2012 is yet another guy living the delusion that suddenly America will “wake up” and throw out these liberals and become True Conservative America!
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Misogyny, in my FoxNews.com?
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My kid won’t be learning no Spanish! And I’ll just ignore the fact my seven year old has more brains that I ever will!
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Neither to most homeschoolers! Let’s yank their kids according to this guy!
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Pray for God to smash babies’ heads against rocks. That’s Christian love for you!
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The era of cheap internet has also lead to microsites popping up speaking out against the presidential address. Hall Pass On That is one such site…
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Not the Ragime! I would demand Spell Check first!
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We will brainwash our own kids, thank you very much!
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We pay for it, so I should get MY WAY only! Waaaah!
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Barack Obama, born to a father who abandoned him and forced to live with his grandparents because his mother had not enough money to take care of him, who attended schools on scholarships, was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. But George W. Bush, millionaire’s son, was a man of the people!
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Barack Obama will harm your children and expose himself.
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So the site took it upon itself to write their own worksheet for the speech!
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Let’s take a look…

Question all authority, but never question Mommy! (and NEVER question Republican presidents!)
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Liberals, just draw pictures because none of you can write…
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Let’s discuss the main ideas of the speech, these things I made up!
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And HallPassOnThis is not the only site! Don’t these people have jobs? Oh, wait, George W. Bush took care of that problem!
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Wingnut Web must end again, but we’ll soon be back, and with more brainwashed children. Remember, when you brainwash, to use cold water or you will end up shrinking the brain.