We’re gonna shoot out ALL your eyes!!! It’s another Christmas Story for all as Warners cashes in and makes a DTV sequel to the iconic holiday classic. Sure, there already was an actual sequel My Summer Story/It Runs in the Family that I think just went direct to cable, and a bunch of made for PBS features involving the Parker family narrated by Jean Shepherd and starring Jerry O’Connell as Ralphie for at least some of them. The fact no one knows what I am talking about attests to their popularity.

Expect A Christmas Story 2 (some sites are calling it A Christmas Story Too, an important distinction in the world of who gives a crap!) to drop October 30th and features Ralphie dressed as a reindeer because he works at a department store or something. Also he wants a car. Will the 1938 Hupmobile Skyline convertible be the new Red Ryder BB gun? Of course! The Old Man is going to be Daniel Stern (who was the narrator for The Wonder Years, which was partially inspired by A Christmas Story), and a photo shows him holding the iconic leg lamp. Because this sequel will be all about callbacks! Brian Levant of Jingle All The Way fame directs. Set your Little Orphan Annie secret decoder pin to “Watch”!

Maybe I should make more references to the original film…

Get your Ovaltine or something. Not a finger. Oh, fudge.