Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop

aka Sukepan deka: Bâjin nêmu = Moromie Saki

2006
Directed and written by Daigo Udagawa

Japan’s output of film is remarkable. They have taken to direct to video like it is crack cocaine, allowing for hundreds of cheaply produced films to flood the market, many of which are adult in nature. Their softcore industry is a monster of its own, complete with dozens of subgenres and long-running film series such as the Ninja Vixens movies (ten at last count) and erotic versions of many mainstream films. I hesitate to call Sukepan deka: Bâjin nêmu = Moromie Saki, aka Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop an erotic parody, because the films seemed to have forgotten the parody part and is instead just a slightly sexed up version of the big budget film done for 1/100th the price. It is hard to believe I spent so long looking for this film, thinking it would be a good companion piece to the Yo-Yo Girl Cop review. Instead, it is disappointing to say the least. There are some moments of charm, but all in all the film is slow and boring, slightly disturbing, and will never be watched again.

Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop (Sukepan deka: Bâjin nêmu = Moromie Saki) is not the only erotic version of Yo-Yo Girl Cop (Sukeban Deka: kôdo nêmu = Asamiya Saki) to come out in that film’s wake, the hardcore porn Sukepan deka: kôdo nêmu = Maramiya Saki was another example. Where as Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop merely stars an AV actress and has simulated sex, Sukepan deka: kôdo nêmu = Maramiya Saki is filled with hardcore sex. In addition, Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop is not even the first softcore knock-off of the Sukeban Deka franchise, Mototsugu Watanabe’s Sexy Battle Girls (Nerawareta gakuen: seifuku o osou) – aka Sukepan deka: kawaii meiki preceded this film by many years. Having not seen that film, which starred Kyôko Hashimoto, I can’t accurately compare the two. More info on the two other Sukeban Deka erotic versions mentioned in this paragraph are at the end of the review, along with poster art.

So now we can jump right into Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop (Sukepan deka: Bâjin nêmu = Moromie Saki), written and directed by Daigo Udagawa. The film stars Mihiro Taniguchi as Saki Moromie, and follows much of the basic storyline from its inspiration, though it ditches the boring website cult storyline and just runs with a prostitution ring, government corruption, and the schoolgirl forced to investigate by a secret agency in order to save her jailed mother. The film copies the poster art, the uniform style, and some smaller details, but is limited by the small budget as to what they could do on film.

Let’s meet the cast!

Saki Moromie (Mihiro Taniguchi) – Saki Moromie is your normal teenage Japanese girl whose mom is a crack fiend. To free her, Saki must work for the secret government agency that arms girls with yo-yos and sends them after criminal syndicates. Just like that other movie that came out recently. The yo-yo is kept in a special holster set into the crotch of crystal panties. Just imagine all the goofy sexual innuendo possibilities, especially with a pervy country like Japan making this film. Mihiro Taniguchi started out as a nude model and eventually became an AV star. She has recently starred in a few more mainstream movies, including the film you are now reading about. Asuka (Shô Nishino) – Saki gets a friend, the popular and hot Asuka, who shows her the ropes and is the first person ever to be kind to Saki (after beating her up.) So of course she is soon to die. Shô Nishino is also an AV star Reiko (Rio Nakamura) – Teacher and evil slore who dreams of running the school’s prostitution program herself. Somehow, this involves killing some of the most popular prostitutes. I don’t get it. Whatever. Jealous of Saki’s good looks. Rio Nakamura is another AV star. So many of these Japanese actresses in the softcore films turn out to be AV stars. It is amazing. Headmaster (???) – The Headmaster runs the school and the giant prostitute ring that it encloses, but he is an idiot and keeps way to many records, plus squeals like a pig in the slightest whiff of him getting caught. He has probably confessed his crimes to a toll booth collector after missing some change. I do not know who played him. Politician (Seiji Nakamitsu) – All politicians are slime buckets, but this one is nothing but bucketless slime. All horrible goo, no containment. His public face is one of caring, but his private face (hidden behind a mask) is killing schoolgirls after he sexes them up. Japanese politicians are more efficient on their perversions, throwing several in the basket at the same time. A biography of frequent Pinku star Seiji Nakamitsu can be found here. Saki’s partner (???) – Saki has a partner in her special police squad, but all he does is stand around looking clueless and depressed, like he wants to talk to saki but is too afraid of girls to say anything. He is nothing like his counterpart in the original movie. I do not know who played him. Nerdy Guy (???) – He may be named something like Sapei, he is the first to befriend Saki in her new school after she defends him from those gross girls and their scary vaginas. But his affection is pathetic and interfering with her bad girl persona, so she treats him like dirt. He keeps coming back for more. I do not know who played him.