Rocco, Ang Batang Bato

aka Boy God aka Stone Boy

1983
Story by Joeben Miraflor
Screenplay by Eliseo Corcuerra
Directed by J. Erastheo Navoa

That vampire is paralyzed with shock at the idiocy he’s witnessing!

What a great movie for children! In the opening minute there is a woman being molested in her sleep by a spectral god, having an orgasm because, why not? Then her parents are gunned down less than two minutes later by a ruthless local warlord. An annoying fat kid then bloats up the running time until we finally get the werewolves, vampires, and monsters. Kids love violence and rape and annoying fat kids, and Boy God aka Stone Boy aka Rocco, Ang Batang Bato gives the children what they want!

If you aren’t familiar with Boy God, it’s a Filipino childrens’ film that was imported to the US and given an annoying dub and multiple titles. This lead to some confusion when attempting to track down rare films in the days before the internet. As far as I can tell, both titles are the exact same English dub and cut. I’ve not seen the original Filipino version, but the names in Tagalog do not seem to correspond at all with the English ones. I do want to see how the Filipino actor pretending to be the mad German scientist Dr. Mengele actually is supposed to be Dr. Mengele, and if he has a German accent. The gods all seem inspired from Clash of the Titans and similar films, as they are all Greek-looking. The vampires are more animalistic, like half-bat monsters, and Janice is dressed up as a Filipino komiks superheroine. So there is a healthy mixture of influences.

You can probably tell from my tone that I don’t really care for this film that much. The kid is among the most annoying I’ve seen in film, the most annoying child I’ve seen in a Filipino flick, and probably on my top ten list of most annoying children of all time. (That is a list with a heavy amount of Kennys!) But beyond that, the fantasy elements are pretty cool. They are all practical effects, and they are the lovable ridiculous practical effects that everyone rags on but secretly miss. Effects with heart. So I can’t hate on Boy God too much. Just the star, and the unfortunately decision to not kill the child off and replace him with someone not terrible.

Director J. Erastheo Navoa helmed a few other genre flicks, some have a bit written about them, and some are complete mysteries. His biggest is probably Darna at Ding, but there is also Tikboy and Pamboy and Super Islaw and the Flying Kids. The latter got a revival in the tv series Super Inggo, Super Inggo being the son of Super Islaw and a supervillainess. Movie superheroine Super Inday played Super Inggo’s fiance, Super Inday had her own movie in the 80s that was remade in 2010 called Super Inday and the Golden Bibe.

Despite this film being rather well-known among weird world cinema collectors, it doesn’t have that much written about it online, so enjoy the more detailed plot synopsis review below!

Rocco (Niño Muhlach) – Rocco has invulnerable skin, meaning he can’t be hurt by normal means. Rocco with the rock hard skin, a lot of creativity is present. His mom is named Cora (Cecille Castillo) and his father is Issabello, but both are killed when he is a baby and stuck in Purgatory. His real father is the god Pyfan. His grandmother is named Dunata, and is who raises Rocco. Rocco gets weak in water, which is a convenient excuse not to take a bath for a kid. His hobbies include rolling into a ball and bowling into people, defeating local warlords, fighting monsters, saving his parents from awful fates, and being annoying. Tiki (???) – The talking parrot pet of Rocco who factors into the film in the beginning and then sort of fades away. Robbie (???) – A local warlord dressed in a Flintsones cow toga who harasses the village. Killed Rocco’s parents. Is in league with Dr. Mengele. Robbie isn’t a name that instills in me a sense of terror, but occasionally it sounds like they are calling in Grobbie, which is even worse. Golem (???) – A giant cyclops, not a golem, but whatever. Enjoys threatening and eating small people, but gets annoyed that they randomly have sharp knives on their bodies that he has to spit out. Tries to eat Rocco. Janice (Liz Alindogan) – Why would you think this is Darna? She’s clearly Janice! A totally different Filipino wonder woman, and vaguely the love interest for Rocco, despite the fact he’s a goofy boy. Janice is named Janus in the Tagalog version, borrowing a name from Clash of the Titans Dr. Rowling (Jimi Melendez) – A heroic doctor who tries to solve the monster problem in the neighborhood, and ends up teaming up with Rocco to do so. I don’t know if he’s related to the Harry Potter author. Dr. Rowling is named Eldee in the Tagalog version. Dr. Mengele (???) – The infamous Nazi scientist has been hiding out in the Philippines under the name Dr. Desares, and he’s somehow also Filipino now! OMG! He’s behind the rash of monsters thanks to the continued efforst of his experiments, and he’s also financing Robbie’s reign of terror. Vulcan, Elder of the Immortals (Venchito Galvez) – Vulcan shows up to do his blind soothsayer act and bestow upon Rocco a bunch of magic armor and a quest.