The most legally defensible word in the English languages is “Unauthorized”, and Lifetime is on a mission to turn that into a film franchise of 90s nostalgia mixed with the drama we never knew we needed to know, no matter how ridiculous and made up it may be. On that note, the next entry is The Unauthorized Full House Story, and that premieres this weekend in what will surely be a bunch of people making jokes on Twitter, a few of which will actually be watching the film!

Prepare to return to the world of Danny Tanny, Jesse Kastopolis, and Joey the Guy in the Basement along with all the kids and random neighbor children only months before the actual Full House sequel series premieres, where DJ Tanner continues the Tanner Spouse Death Curse. Will we learn shocking truths about how Bob Saget and John Stamos are mortal enemies? Will we learn what happened to the secret Olson Triplet? I expect a full expose about which cast member stole Dave Coulier’s career after the show ended! And if Full House ain’t your thing, Lifetime has upcoming Unauthorized Melrose Place and Unauthorized 90210 films on the way, with probably many more. I’m still waiting for their Unauthorized Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Power Rangers shows.

Lifetime’s Unauthorized film franchise continues this summer with the original movie “The Unauthorized Full House Story.” From its start as an unassuming family comedy in 1987 to its eventual wildly popular 192-episode run, the film centers on the rise of the cast of one of America’s most beloved family sitcoms and the pressures they faced in balancing their television personas with their real lives.

The iconic roles include:

DANNY TANNER: Garrett Brawith (“Rolling”) as Bob Saget

JOEY GLADSTONE: Justin Mader (“Death Race”) as Dave Coulier

JESSE KATSOPOLIS: Justin Gaston (“Days of Our Lives”) as John Stamos

REBECCA DONALDSON: Stephanie Bennett (“Big Eyes”) as Lori Loughlin

D.J. TANNER: Shelby Armstrong and Brittney Wilson (“Rogue”) as the younger and older versions of Candace Cameron

STEPHANIE TANNER: Dakota Guppy (“The Returned”) and Jordyn Olson (“The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story”) as the younger and older versions of Jodie Sweetin

MICHELLE TANNER: Blaise and Kinslea Todd as the toddler versions of twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen; Calla and Tyla Jones playing them at age six and Kylie and Jordan Armstrong as the twins at nine years of age

KIMMY GIBBLER: Aislyn Watson (“Finding Mrs. Claus”) and Jaime Schneider (“Twisted Tales of My 9 to 5”) as the younger and older versions of Andrea Barber

“The Unauthorized Full House Story” is produced by Front Street Pictures and Bay Road Productions Ltd. for broadcast on Lifetime. The movie is executive produced by Harvey Kahn (“Flowers in the Attic”) and Stephen Bulka (“The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story”). The film is directed by Brian K. Roberts (“An En Vogue Christmas”), and the teleplay is written by Ron McGee (“Rizzoli & Isles”).

The Unauthorized Full House Story premieres Saturday, August 22nd on Lifetime!

via Lifetime!