Boxer from Shantung 馬永貞

Boxer from Shantung (Review)

Boxer from Shantung

aka 馬永貞 aka Ma Yong Zhen aka Ma Wing Jing aka Killer from Shantung
Boxer from Shantung 馬永貞
1972
Written by Chang Cheh and Ni Kuang
Directed by Chang Cheh and Pao Hsueh-Li

Boxer from Shantung 馬永貞
The rise of a gangster from nothing to boss who goes down in a violent orgy of death is one of those classic tales that gets told a lot in cinema. Boxer of Shantung is no exception on delivering the basic story. What Boxer of Shantung does do, is deliver the story in an entertaining fashion that makes you cheer for the hero, even as the trappings of power cause him to abandon some of his principals.

Boxer of Shantung is Chen Kuan-Tai’s first lead role, and he brings such an energy of pride to his laborer character Ma Yung Chen that you know he is going places. As a penniless worker, he argues against the innkeeper treating his fellow poors like second-class citizens. He refuses to do a demeaning job for insulting carriage drivers, nor does he accept charity from a fellow immigrant from Shantung who has gone on to do well. He decrees that he is going to be just as successful as him one day, and soon he gets a little territory, then goes punching his way for more. During his rise, Ma remembers his poor roots and chastises his men for shaking them down for money, choosing instead to target richer districts.
Boxer from Shantung 馬永貞
The trappings of power are dangerous, and when you play the game of thrones, you play for keeps, even if the game is being a local boss in olden China. Each move leads Ma Yung Chen increasingly in conflict with the Axe Gang, their champions and boss at first seeing him as a distraction to their main rival, Boss Tan Si (David Chiang Da-Wei), but eventually focusing on Ma Yung Chen with their entire gang army.

The action starts slow in Boxer from Shantung, but builds and build until the end, where Ma Yung Chen is battling the entire Axe Gang by himself. This slow burn action may have fallen out of favor in our ADD/hyperediting modern reality, but it still works for me. The fight scenes are worth waiting for, Chen Kuan-Tai is a powerful force, and the choreography incorporates all the random objects around the landscape into the melees. With each bump into the Axe Gang, Ma Yung Chen battles both more dangerous members and just plain more and more members of the Axe Gang.
Boxer from Shantung 馬永貞

Expecting Amish

Expecting Amish – Lifetime knocks up an Amish teen!

Expecting Amish

And I’ve been milkin’ and plowin’ so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone


How can we make the average pregnant teen drama movie more drama-lama? Let’s make her Amish! They say there are no bad ideas in a brainstorm, and someone believed that statement, thus they listened to the idea in the last sentence to bring us Expecting Amish!

We all know Rumspringa because of that movie Devil’s Playground, but now you can experience it like never before, in Lifetime Channel form!

18-year-old Hannah Yoder is ready to become an Amish adult – which means baptism into the Church, and marriage to her boyfriend Samuel. But her friends convince her to go on Rumspringa in Hollywood where she wears jeans and makeup for the first time and begins to think for herself, making her own decisions. She meets Josh, a DJ, and the two click instantly becoming inseparable. On their last night together, Hannah confides that she doesn’t want to be baptized and wants to stay in LA – but she has to go home to tell her family. When she returns to Amish country, Hannah learns she is pregnant and must make the painful choice of staying with Samuel and raising the baby as his, or return to Josh and risk being shunned forever!

The main cast are a bunch of Disney alums with actor/musician credits: AJ Michalka, Jesse McCartney, and Alyson Stoner. I don’t know if they’ll sing. There are also costars Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Cayden Boyd, Carrie Wampler, and Aurelia Scheppers. I don’t know if they’ll sing, either.

Expecting Amish is directed by cult movie director Richard Gabai, who directed Assault of the Party Nerds, Assault of the Party Nerds 2: The Heavy Petting Detective, Vice Girls, and Kickboxing Academy, among other flicks I’ve seen thanks to the wonders of 90s video stores.

Expecting Amish premieres Saturday, July 19th on Lifetime! Until then, you’ll just have to wonder if there will be any hot bare ankle action! Prepare your horse and buggy for a wild ride!

via Lifetime

Sharknado 2

Sharknado 2: The Second One trailer!


Because we all need full trailers! You’re either already sold or not going to bother, so only board the hype train if you are cool. Choo-choo!

Sharknado 2: The Second One – Wednesday, July 30 at 9PM – In Sharknado 2: The Second One, the sequel to last summer’s global pop culture sensation, a freak weather system turns its deadly fury on New York City, unleashing a Sharknado on the population and its most cherished iconic sites – and only Fin (Ian Ziering) and April (Tara Reid) can save the Big Apple. The movie, directed by Anthony C. Ferrante from a screenplay by Thunder Levin, also stars Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Vivica A. Fox and Judah Friedlander, with cameo appearances including Kelly Osbourne, Judd Hirsch, Perez Hilton, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Andy Dick, Robert Klein, Sandra “Pepa” Denton, Biz Markie, Downtown Julie Brown, Richard Kind and Kurt Angle, among others. Sharknado 2: The Second One is a production of The Asylum.

Aurora Teagarden Charlaine Harris

Hallmark fires up Charlaine Harris’ Aurora Teagarden series — with Candace Cameron Bure!

DJ Tanner will be solving mysteries in a new series of original movies on the Hallmark Channel. Aurora Teagarden is based on the mystery series by Charlaine Harris, most famous for the Southern Vampire Mystery series that gave birth to the HBO show True Blood.

Aurora Teagarden is not a place, but the name of the main character, Aurora “Roe” Teagarden, who is a librarian and member of the Real Murders Club. The group meets and analyzes famous murder cases until the members start popping up dead, killed in the manner of famous murder cases. Thus everyone is a suspect and a potential victim until the case is solved.

The Aurora Teagarden series consists of 8 books and one short story:

  • Real Murders
  • A Bone to Pick
  • Three Bedrooms, One Corpse
  • The Julius House
  • Dead Over Heels
  • “Deeply Dead” in Murder, They Wrote (short story)
  • A Fool And His Honey
  • Last Scene Alive
  • Poppy Done to Death

Between True Blood, this series, and Harris’ Harper Connelly Mysteries getting a SyFy series, she is becoming a force in genre series inspiration.

Candace Cameron Bure is set to play Roe Teagarden, with Teena Booth writing the adaptation. This is billed as part of the all-new Original Mystery Wheel Franchise, which is three different mystery movie series that tag team airings on a set night. The other two Mystery Wheel film series for 2015 are: Garage Sale Mystery series starring Lori Loughlin (also of Full House, it’s a Full House Mystery Domination!) and The Gourmet Detective starring Dylan Neal.

Hallmark Mystery fans will note that the original Garage Sale Mystery aired in 2013, the subsequent films will carry on the series. The Gourmet Detective is based on the book series by Peter King, and Dylan Neal’s wife Becky Southwell will write the films based on the novels.

The original Mystery Wheel Franchise featured films series including Mystery Woman with Kellie Martin, McBride with John Larroquette, Jane Doe with Lea Thompson, and Murder 101 with Dick Van Dyke

Hallmark is Lifetime’s only real competitor in original programming of this nature, so it’s good to see them stepping up their game a bit. It’s good to see mystery books making their way to television in multiple forms. This will probably open the field up wide and clear if they perform well, maybe even the gimmick mysteries I read with magical cats or talking cats or cats who hang out with their owners in the libraries (99% of the protagonists in mystery books are librarians). Basically, cat based mysteries are the future, and the future should be now! Until then, I guess I’ll settle for Candace Cameron Bure…

via THR

Aurora Teagarden Charlaine Harris

There’s even a cat on this cover! I demand Mystery Cats!!!

Presumed Dead in Paradise Lifetime

With Presumed Dead in Paradise, Lifetime breaks out the conspiracies!

Presumed Dead in Paradise Lifetime

People, read the fine print on your timeshare agreements!


Remember that old Phil Collins song about how it’s another day in paradise? Well, you can’t have another day in paradise if you’re dead! Sure, that has little to do with the song’s actual subject, but I’m making this intro work. Lifetime brings us Presumed Dead in Paradise, which is like the Natalee Holloway case except 1000 times more Lifetime. This time the girl lives, only to find out it was a murder conspiracy by her own family to kill her! Basically, never go to the Caribbean, because you will die.

Madison, a rebellious teenager, has spent most of her life in boarding schools and the only family she has left is her estranged stepmother, Patricia. So when Patricia unexpectedly invites Madison on a birthday trip to St. Isabel (an island Madison used to visit with her father), Madison is shocked but excited! Once on the island Madison meets Blake, a cute local guide who plans a paddle board excursion to a remote part of the island. Out in open water, Madison has a panic attack (or so it appears) and seemingly drowns. Miraculously, Madison survives and manages to make her way back to the resort but is stunned to see Blake and Patricia together! When Madison goes looking for answers, she discovers that this vacation isn’t what it seems, and that she’s in fact embroiled in a dark conspiracy that involves her late father.

Presumed Dead in Paradise stars Malese Jow, Olivia d’Abo, Gavin Houston, Alix Gitter, Luis Omar O’Farrill. It is directed by Mary Lambert, who directed both of the Pet Sematary films and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid! Presumed Dead in Paradise is written by Steven Palmer Peterson (Cop Dog) and Douglas Shaffer (mostly production work).

My prediction is her dead dad ain’t dead. And also that there will be more twists than a whole season of Law & Order: SVU!

Presumed Dead in Paradise airs Saturday, July 12th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Zapped Disney Zendaya

Zapped (Review)

Zapped

Zapped Disney Zendaya
2014
Teleplay by Billy Eddy, Matt Eddy, and Rachelle Skoretz
Televison story by Rachelle Skoretz
Based on the novel Boys Are Dogs by Leslie Margolis
Directed by Peter DeLuise

Zapped Disney Zendaya

Disney’s Carrie!


Disney Channel blasts out another original movie with Zapped, wherein a teenage girl discovers her cell phone has the power to control boys. Chaos ensues as things go inevitably wrong, and soon young Zoey Stevens (Zendaya) learns a valuable lesson about family and not mind controlling vast amounts of people.

Overall, the characters are charming and well cast. Zendaya seems far more comfortable reacting to all the weird things going on around her than participating in them herself. She spends so much of her interaction with gross boy antics stretching out her muscles making disgusted faces, it starts to become hilarious. You can tell she’s just having fun as everyone acts crazy all around her. Chenelle Peloso is one of those perfect talky best friend characters who wears a hat that’s in almost every teen movie (yet I’ve never seen one in the wild). Spencer Boldman is far too cool for school, someone who already learned everything, so spends his day playing the faux rebel. Special performance bonus go to Emilia McCarthy as the villainess Taylor Dean, who just hates that darn Zoey Stevens for stealing her man and her dance reputation and basically everything. McCarthy spends the whole film chewing the scenery being fun to hate and it’s awesome. She’s joined by sidekick Yuki (Louriza Tronco), Taylor’s toady who thinks she’s her BFF, and Taylor constantly slams her for saying ridiculous things (sometimes deservedly, sometimes not!)

Zapped Disney Zendaya

Yes, we were hanging out in this bathroom for hours waiting for you to come in!


Young Zoey Stevens (Zendaya) grew up with it just being her and her mom for so long that she barely remembers anything different (the reference to her father is he once gave her a castle music box, it’s implied he passed on). She lives most of her life on her cell phone, using apps for everything. We open with her mother’s wedding to her new husband, Ted Thompson, who comes complete with three rowdy boys and a dog (Adam, Zach, Ben, and the dog Humphrey). Things hit a full Brady Bunch as the boys repeatedly cause huge messes, starting with splattering Zoey while she’s giving her maid of honor speech.
Zapped Disney Zendaya

They Live the App!


Things don’t get better at her new school, as the boys there are all pre-divided up into cliques: the gamers, the skateboarders, the stinky guys, the shirtless muscleheads. Special consideration given to a guy known as The Tripp (Jedidiah Goodacre), who refers to himself in the third person in between farting on people. The only people not insane is her new BFF for life, Rachel Todds (Chenelle Peloso), and the single non-disgusting boy in the school, with the neo-leftist name Jackson Kale (Spencer Boldman). Think James Dean crossed with Edward the vampire, with Jackson Kale wearing his sunglasses inside, in the dark while watching a film strip. Of course he’s the love interest, calling Zoey “Smart Phone” as he quickly picks up on her habit.
Zapped Disney Zendaya

This movie has gone to the dogs! Ha! I kill me! No, wait, don’t kill me! It was just an expression. I stole it from ALF! No, please, NOOOOOOOOOOO*– **BLAM BLAM BLAM**