Pulse sucked, Kairo (the movie it was based on) also sucked, but that won’t stop TWO DTV sequels from getting produced. Lucky us!
Also, two DTV sequels to Feast are also being planned.
Still looking for confirmation of DTV Goonies 2 and Gremlins 3 news, hopefully they are also fake/never left the drawing board.
Let’s file this one under “Meh”
Christopher Columbus seems to have a thing for pint-sized bespectacled mission men. Talking about the filmmaker, of course, not about the guy who discovered La Ribs on West Pico.
The Harry Potter filmmaker has snapped up the film rights to Dilbert, the popular comic book strip by Scott Adams. Columbus is considering it as one of his next directing gigs.
The rights to the popular cartoon previously laid with Columbia – who produced the TV series – who planned to turn the office dweeb into a feature film a couple of years back. Never happened. With Columbus on board, the film will be now be shot, tinned and released by Warner Bros.
The comics tell of a Cubicle denizen named Dilbert who toils away at Path-E-Tech which makes undefined products. The focus is on his survival amongst a moronic boss, hostile co-workers and his malevolent pet, Dogbert. Daniel Stern (City Slickers) provided the voice of the character in the series.
Live Action Dilbert? Now the cartoon series wasn’t that bad, but I have doubts that the stript can translate well into a live action format, especially since it will undoubtedly be compared to Office Space. That, and Scott Adams has gone nutso recently, so who knows what might show up in the movie!
Also, Path-E-Tech? Wha?
… You reboot the franchise. Look at what Warners is doing with Superman and Batman and Sony are doing with Bond. It’s hardly comparable, being a fucking rubber shark monster, but what the hell. You forget that Jaws 3 and Jaws 4 were ever made. You bring Brody back. Only this time he’s totally fucking frazzled from the shock of what he’s gone through twenty odd years ago. He’s an old man, he’s alcholic and he’s fucking emotionally broke. His son’s live away, his wife’s dead and he’s about to be forcibly retired from Amity’s police department after decades. Then a shark comes back, starts doing it’s shit and Brody pulls himself together and decides that catching and killing the shark will be his salvation. They didn’t like this. They were all about the “It sounds dark!” “It sounds unmarketable in the avenue we’re considering!” They started talking to me about the straight-to-DVD market being for the teens and primarily young males/females and that they were wanting to focus more on that. One guy says “You know? Teens in peril? That sort of thing?” I reply “You mean like Jaws 2?” Another tells me that Schieder wouldn’t touch anything remotely linked to Jaws sequels. They said that back in the early 80s they nearly sued him because he was contracted to 2 sequels and he did one and refused the other and they got round it in the end by him letting them use his stuff in Jaws 4 but not having to pay him a dime! It doesn’t look likely for me. Then again my agent is telling me that I was 20th down the line from being offered it so it seems fucking nobody wants to touch it…
Sounds awful, right? This is another horror movie where the true horror is it’s existence.
Suddenly, the horror waned as soon as it cast its shadow…
Allow me to debunk. I dropped an email to David Linde to ask if this was true, and he said folks are confused: there’s an HD “Jaws” DVD on its way, but no “Jaws 5” straight-to-DVD.
And if you can’t believe Universal’s top brass, who can you believe?
Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) is good at being silent, and now is good at silencing odd rumors.
Unless the studio lied to him.
do do do do, do do do do…..
The new RiffTrax is up today, it is Over The Top. The Riffer is just Mike Nelson, doing a solo job taking out Stallone.
Next week’s RiffTrax is a return to team sports, as Kevin Murphy joins Mike in taking down Aeon Flux!
I’ve not seen Aeon Flux ever, but along with Crossroads, Nestor, and Firewall; sometimes things just work out so you are forced to see a terrible movie. But with Mike and Gang along for the ride, the journey doesn’t seem so horrible.
Big Ape, Bad Movie
Better late than never, and has a flash video clip, hopefully all the videos will be like that soon, and new videos added to older movies that desperately need them.
1969
Starring
Anthony Eisley as Mark Remington
Megan Timothy as April Adams
Scott Brady as Dan Morgan
Kent Taylor as Tonga Jack Adams
Bruce Kimball as The Witch Doctor/Mort the Clown
Lee Parrish as George
Greydon Clark as Charlie the Elephant ticket seller
Directed by David L. Hewitt
One of the worst rip-offs of King Kong ever, even worse than Queen Kong (which is an epic chore to sit through itself), this masterpiece of horrible filmmaking sinks below the chum of the crap, a benchmark that is not easily passed by those trying to create a worse giant gorilla film. Sure, that genre has some terrible entries: the aforementioned Queen Kong, King Kong Escapes (though I like this one), the Mighty Joe Young remake, A*P*E, the upcoming Kinky Kong, and the classic porn masterpiece King Dong. Giant ape movies will be with us forever, and some of them go on forever like the Peter Jackson version of King Kong. The Mighty Gorga is mercifully short, the best feature of the entire film.
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A woman is chained as sacrifice because she is the next victim of the Mighty Gorgo! As we all know how this works from the various King Kong films, the movie doesn’t even bother to explain what is going on. They then jump right into a circus, as lion taming happens during the opening credits, something every version of King Kong can’t claim to have, so that’s one point for The Mighty Gorga.
