Megachurch Murder Lifetime

Megachurch Murder brings the unholy spirit to Lifetime!

Megachurch Murder Lifetime

And the Lord sayth: “Don’t ask me about the Bill Cosby allegations!”


Murder, church, and megas, the three things that combine to make a brand new Lifetime Channel film! Megachurch Murder is the first “Mega-” movie I’ve seen that’s not a monster movie nor a movie about a blue supervillain. What it does cover is megachurches. Now, I went to several churches growing up, usually black churches. Most of them were small churches with maybe 200 worshipers at most. The whole “megachurch” thing just seems so weird to me. Why would you want to be part of thousands of people, going to a church where it’s highly unlikely that you would even know the pastor, and so big you just get lost in the crowd? It seems like the opposite of what I’d consider church, but that’s just me. Everyone worships differently, and if you like megachurches, more power to you. Now with that out of the way, let’s bring on the murder!

After popular and charismatic megachurch leader Hamilton Spears commits suicide, his teenage daughter Hannah’s life goes off the rails. The only thing keeping her together is her new boyfriend, Oliver. When she finds evidence pointing to a church conspiracy and threats toward her father, she is determined to prove that Hamilton’s death was murder not suicide. As she gets closer to the truth, she realizes her own mother may be involved in her father’s murder…and that the boy she is falling in love with is the son of his killer.

You got to love crazy murder stories, this one will probably be completely nuts. It sounds great, and the premise allows them to do some really dramatic stuff. Here’s hoping for a solid winner! Megachurch Murder stars Tamala Jones, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Michael Beach, Shanica Knowles, Romeo Miller, Corbin Bleu, and Dawnn Lewis.

Megachurch Murder is directed by Darin Scott (House Party: Tonight’s the Night) and written by Kendall Clark (their only credit). Megachurch Murder premieres February 7th on Lifetime Channel!

via Lifetime/Toni Scott

Dark Power RiffTrax

The Dark Power – New RiffTrax VOD!

“Oh, Lash LaRue, I always wondered what happened to him!” — Nobody, Ever. Well, unfortunately, Nobody is going to get an answer, because Lash LaRue is featured in The Dark Power, which is the latest RiffTrax VOD! It’s got zombies, it’s got college kids played by actors that are close to collecting retirement, it’s got…well, that’s all it’s got. Luckily, the RiffTrax guys are what we got, and The Dark Power is the perfect fodder for their jokes. In fact, this movie might be too easy for the jokes. You might seriously die as you are bored by the film and laughing from the jokes, your body not knowing how to react and thus giving up. But it’s worth it, I hear. I can’t die thanks to my time serving as a prison guard on death row when this magic guy showed up….

Hey, Toltec Zombies! How often does that happen? George Romero, eat your heart out! Buy The Dark Power today, or you will face the wrath of very slow, very cheap Toltec Zombies. Eventually.

Hollywood legend Lash LaRue returns to the silver screen in this thrilling tale of zombies, the occult, and stretching the definition of “Hollywood legend” as far as our lawyers will allow us! Lash LaRue, as you’ll undoubtedly recall, was famous for being playing a cowboy that used a whip. In every movie he was in, he found a way to pick up a whip and crack it a few times. Cattle rustlers? Whip! Pistols at dawn? Whip! Bankrupt from loss of cattle because trying to stop cattle rustlers with just a whip is incredibly stupid? Whip! Dead from ignoring the pistols part of pistols at dawn and instead bringing a—Well, you get the idea.

Yes, Lash and his whip were inseparable. It’s even claimed that he taught Harrison Ford how to use the bullwhip! Sadly for Lash, he was providing his “whip lessons” on the set of Regarding Henry, and was escorted off the lot by security after startling Harrison in the bathroom.

But that didn’t stop Lash, and he’s still flinging his whip around in The Dark Power. And it’s a good thing too, because four ancient Toltec Indian chiefs have risen from the dead and are terrorizing a house full of college students who don’t look a day over 32. Turns out that defiling their burial ground was a bad idea! Who knew?

Can Lash drive his Chrysler there with his blinker on the entire way before the students are picked off one by one? Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for this RiffTrax to find out!

Dark Power RiffTrax

Christian Mingle

Christian Mingle dotcoms itself on UPtv!

Christian Mingle

Hey, a little too much mingling here! Leave some room for the Holy Ghost, people…


A few weeks back, the trailer for the Corbin Bernsen written and directed Christian Mingle hit the web and confused everyone. Well, stop being confused, because now Christian Mingle is coming to UPtv! Yes, Christian Mingle is based on the website ChristianMingle.com, and had a very limited release last year. Faith based films getting tiny local releases is becoming a thing, and after that was done, UPtv became the next stop for a wider audience.

Gwyneth Hayden has it all. A top-notch career, killer wardrobe, dream apartment, and great friends – she thinks the only thing missing is a man. In a moment of inspired desperation, she fills out a profile on the dating website ChristianMingle.com hoping to find Mr. Right. However, Gwyneth’s Christianity is a little rusty and her attempts at impressing her dream guy end in disaster when he calls her out on her “faux faith.” In an honest realization, she sees her superficial life for what it really is, and is driven to create a personal relationship with God.

Christian Mingle stars Lacey Chabert, Jonathan Patrick Moore, Stephen Tobolowsky, Morgan Fairchild, David Keith, and Corbin Bernsen. See what all the fuss is about on February 8th on UPtv!

via UPtv

Love By The Book Hallmark

Love By the Book turns pages on Hallmark Channel!

Love By The Book Hallmark

The book is a Pirate Book! MuHAHAHAHA!!!


Hallmark Channel may be throwing out a bajillion romance movies, but here is a romance movie that seems to say that maybe real life isn’t a romance movie! Heavy subject, yes (not really), but unexpected and just subversive enough that Love By the Book could be a breakout, though I’m going to guess she does end up with the guy who isn’t perfect but that understands her. Because anything else would be a sad ending. And that’s just not by the book!

After a childhood filled with reading fairytales, bookstore owner Emma believes in handsome princes and happily ever afters. Unlike her happily married coworkers Marilyn and Phil, or her sister Jane and Jane’s fiancé Greg, Emma has yet to be swept away in her own fairytale romance. Trying to find the time to both pursue an idyllic love life and to impress her store’s investor, Frank, Emma must balance dating the romantic Landon with working at her store with Frank’s nettlesome son, Eric.

Although Landon demonstrates real prince charming potential with his romantic overtures, he doesn’t understand her priorities or support her passions like Eric does. As Emma considers her future, can she take on the challenges of real love instead of storybook romance?

Love By the Book stars Leah Renee (Franklin and the Turtle Lake Treasure) as Emma, Kristopher Turner (The Triumph of Dingus McGraw: Village Idiot) as Eric, John Schneider (The Dukes of Hazzard!) as Frank, Ryan Bittle (All My Children) as Landon, Stefanie Powers (Hart to Hart!) as Marilyn, Cherilyn Wilson (True Blood) as Jane, Cuyle Carvin (Snake Club: Revenge of the Snake Woman) as Greg, and Michael Ensign (Ghostbusters!) as Phil)

Love By the Book is directed by David S. Cass, Sr. (Matchmaker Santa, a bajillion mystery movies) and written by Jeff Bonnett (his first film), Abbey Cleland (Help for the Holidays), and Jennifer Notas (Stolen from the Womb and Perfect on Paper) Love By the Book was called Mr Fiction in production.

Love By the Book premieres Saturday, January 24 on Hallmark Channel!

Photo via Hallmark/Leah Renee/Kristopher Turner

Super Energetic Man

Super Energetic Man (Review)

Super Energetic Man

aka 戇豆豆追女仔
Super Energetic Man
1998HKMDB Link
Written by Johnny Lee Gwing-Gaai
Directed by Dung Do Cheung Mei

I’m off-brand Popeye the Sailor Man!

A bootleg Hong Kong version of Popeye? Yep, Super Energetic Man transplants Popeye to Hong Kong cinema, brings a good portion of cartoon violence, and then goes completely nuts! Super Energetic Man plays like it’s trying to be a Stephen Chow comedy: It’s got copious copyright “borrowing”, cartoonish violence, scenes that make little sense to fill out the mo lei tau, and Lee Kin-Yan. As a Popeye film, it barely qualifies, with much of the plot running off in random directions, sometimes not even involving any of the main characters. But it just qualifies enough on the rare occasions On Do-Do whips out a can of spinach, shoots it up in the air (the spinach being played by green confetti), munches it down dramatically, inflates his arms, and does superhuman deeds.

Super Energetic Man

Oh no!


The fake Popeye is named On Do-Do (Edmond Leung Hon-Man), and he’s a humble newbie lifeguard who mysteriously often dresses in a sailor suit. His first appearance is disrupting the complicated seduction plans of Captain Lorento (Elvis Tsui Kam-Kong), who throws rats at women who are in rafts, then “saves” them from fake sharks. This overly-complicated plan fails when On Do-Do tosses a skewer into the “shark”, and earning the unwanted gratitude of hot babe Maltese, who will spend most of the film chasing after him and declaring him her boyfriend. But On Do-Do’s heart belongs to another…

On Do-Do and Princess Lychee (Gigi Lai Chi) are in love, they met on the internet. In 1997. “But ours is internet love, I can’t retreat from it,” says On Do-Do. Also they’ve never sent photos to each other, so when they do meet, it is a mystery what each one looks like. But once they do meet, sparks fly, at least until the many many times someone comes in to disrupt their union. Princess Lychee is a real princess, from Kuwite, and because of her great beauty, many men have turned heel in obsession with stealing her away to make her their bride. Hence, her Uncle Pat spends the beginning of the film battling some random soldier who professes her love and tries to kidnap her (Lychee protests that she’s never even met him!) and later Captain Lorento and Mad Dragon also try to steal her away. With all these creepy dudes stalking after her, On Do-Do becomes the best guy in the country simply because he’s the only one who let’s her choose who she wants to date. Also he helps save her from the creeps who take her agency, which often makes up for the various lovers’ quarrels.

Super Energetic Man

So say we all!

Away and Back Jason Lee Minka Kelly

When geese are away, the swans will play on Away & Back on Hallmark Channel!

Away and Back Jason Lee Minka Kelly

With this new app I can make our photo appear away and back over there… ::Cue title card::


Hallmark Channel is going to drown you in romance movies this Valentine’s Day season, and the only escape is to flee to the theater to go see 50 Shades of Grey, which is a romance movie… Hey! But if you can’t afford the money to go see 50 Shades, the Hallmark movies will have to do. You can always do your own whipping.

On that note, Away & Back is a romance movie that premieres Sunday, January 25:

When a family of swans makes their home on the Peterson farm, it’s love at first sight for 10-year-old daughter Frankie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones). But along comes no-nonsense ornithologist Ginny Newsom (Minka Kelly), who rushes in to “save” the majestic birds. For Frankie’s dad Jack (Jason Lee), it’s dislike at first sight when he encounters pushy, know-it-all Ginny. Frankie and her brothers are anything but neutral observers as they watch the initial hostility between their widowed father and the strong-willed Ginny transform into something else. Could romance be in the air?

Swans and animal conservation? A kid being the focus? Characters taking phone photos in a field? This Hallmark Hall of Fame movies has thrown in everything! Away & Back stars Jason Lee (My Name is Earl) as Jack Peterson, Minka Kelly (Turbo Charged Prelude to 2 Fast 2 Furious) as Ginny Newsom, Maggie Elizabeth Jones (We Bought a Zoo) as Frankie, Jaren Lewison (Barney: A Very Merry Christmas: The Movie) as Kyle, and Connor Paton (iZombie ) as Stretch.

Away & Back is directed by Jeff Bleckner (Beyond the Blackboard, Remember Sunday) with a screenplay by Jonah Lisa Dyer and Stephen Dyer (Hysteria)

via Hallmark/Erik Heinila