Spy Girl's Mission Cord#005

Spy Girl’s Mission Cord#005 (Shin Spy Girl Daisakusen: Wakusei Kara no Shinryakusha) comes out May 17th, and promises naked Japanese chicks, gold-clad super-powered chicks, and spies. Sounds like our kind of film! Written and directed by Eitoku Kawamura.
Spy Girl
Plot synopsis:

At Manazuru Peninsula strange UFO sightings are accompanied by killings in which the victims’ corpses are completely mummified. When the proprietor of the nearby Institute of Space and Astronautical Science decides to investigate and promptly disappears the Spy Girls (played by gravure idols Sawa Hashimoto, Megumi Kagurazaka, and Saya Hikita) are called in to get to the bottom of things. They eventually discover the cause of all the trouble, an alien seductress with murderous intentions known only as Gold Lady (Akiho Yoshizawa), and a ridiculously slow-paced battle ensues.

A Not Safe For Work trailer is at Nippon Cinema

Akiho Yoshizawa is a porn star, so understandably she’s the one naked in the clips.

Godzilla Island Story Arc 17

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 17

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 17


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Hi, ho, and welcome to another chapter in the continuing saga of Godzilla Island! This time, we are up to Story Arc 17! Yes, were are rounding third and heading home, soon March of Godzilla Island will be complete! New visitors, get started at Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 to begin the journey here. Those of you following along, thrill as we introduce another new monster, give Anguirus some much needed character development, and wrap everything up incredibly neatly. Almost too neatly. Like the song says, “Every Gororin has its thorn!” Or something like that. Anyway, read on…

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Dororin fighting Gororin or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Reptisaurus Trailer

Reptisaurus news again! Fred Olan Ray upped the trailer to the Retromedia message boards, and then Avery let me know Undead Backbrain had upped it to Youtube, saving me the trouble. So here it is:

Directed by Chris Ray, who even stopped by to comment last time we reported on the film, it hopefully will be a lot of fun, and looks so by the trailer shots.
reptisaurus

Thanks again to Avery!

Also, Chris Ray is answering questions at Undead Backbrain, so ask away!

Honey Bunny wildcats in strip royale

SECRET UNDERCOVER AGENT: WILDCATS IN STRIP ROYALE trailer

Honey Bunny wildcats in strip royale

UPDATE – Read our reviews of Secret Undercover Agent: Honey & Bunny and Secret Undercover Agent: Wildcats in Strip Royale now!

Japan makes another nutty film. This is actually a sequel to Secret Undercover Agent: Honey & Bunny (Himitsu Sennyuu Sousakan: Honey & Bunny) (which seems to cost $50 frakking dollars to import the DVD!!! – so no review of this for a while)

Twitch converted the trailer video, so have at it

Two sections are listed in the trailer:
Mission 01 – The Pure Idol Full Nude Case

Mission 02 – Restroom Blast Case

Not sure if these are two episodes or two intertwining stories. The two girls – Bunny and Honey – don skin-tight catsuits and go fight crime. And they have a chief guy like these films always do. One girl is played by Reon Kadena, which will be her first feature role that isn’t just wandering around in various stages of undress in Idol videos. She’ll do the same here, except talk and it will follow a plot. Yuri Morishita plays the other agent.

Starship Troopers 3

Starship Troopers 3 trailer

Starship Troopers 3

Starship Troopers 3 is the DTV sequel that will return Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) to the Troopers universe. The films also looks to be trying to recapture the sweeping scope of the original, and even hints at an appearance of the power suits from the original novel. It will be fun. Twitch has the trailer in Japanese! Would you like to know more?

UPDATE: We now have a FULL REVIEW of Starship Troopers 3! Read it today, troopers!