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InMovie News

Scary/Hilarious Japanese AV Titles

September 10, 2008By

Japanese porn is the weirdest porn in the universe. And their titles can be even weirder. Here are a list of actual titles that are either disturbing or hilariously awful:

Woman Body Open To The Public Continuous Orgasm – starring Natsumi Horiguchi
Scatolo Evacuation Torture – starring Mai Tsukisaki
No Hair Girl Beast Rape
Masochist Woman Awakening Wild Thing – starring Marin Minami
Narcotics Investigator Addicted To Drugs Vaginal Convulsions – starring Sayaka Minami
Graduation Performance Continuous Orgasm Experiment Show – starring Mao Odagiri
Female Ejaculation Club Faint In Agony Hell Orgasm – starring Nana Sakura
The Octopus Invades The Vagina And It Hurts – yes this involves a real octopus
Huge Breasts Pleasure Hypnotism Orgasm – starring Meguru Kosaka
Running Wild Dog Type Orgasm Machine
Art Model Forced to Do Obscene Things
Enema Narcotic 2 Hole Water Fountain Orgasm – starring Hinano
Restriction Chair Beautiful Legs Trance – starring Noa
Confinement Chair Lesbian – starring Shoko Mikami and Mico
Molester Guerilla Group 61
Lewd Slave Addicted To Confinement Medicine – starring Yuki Touma
LA Amateur Girls Restrained Incontinence Orgasm
Attack! School Girl Machine Vibe 3 – starring Nana Kaori
Coerced Unconscious Climax Clinic Vol.4 – starring Rio Hamasaki
Investigator Addicted To Drugs Vaginal Convusions – starring Tsubaki Kato
Embarrassment Forced Shiofuki Machine Underwear Going All Around Town – starring Yuka Ohsawa
Shyness Forced Enema Hot Yoga
Lolita Gal Anal Destruction – starring Hina Ohtsuka
My Obediently Pet Deal With Desire – starring Yui Seto
Anal Demon Piston – starring Mizuki
The Eel And Loach To Attack In Lasciviousness Are Insane – with real eels and roaches (loaches)
Vaginal Convulsions Agonizing Hell School Girl – starring Aimi
One Womain is Isolated in the Group – starring Mitsu Amai
Delusional Restraint Masochism – starring Yuu Tsutsumi
Deranged Enthusiast Orgasm Enforced Repeatedly Number 09
Enema Sports Tourament
Destruction Break Down Limit Of Orgasm – starring Nana Natsume
What Happens to a Woman When Cumming is Prolonged – starring Mariko Shiraishi
Fainting Skeleton Chair – starring Azusa Ayano
Breaks Down Limit of Orgasm Perfection Climax – starring Nana Natsume
Smoothly Shaven Lassies In Lesbian Action – starring Chihiro Hara and Kasumi Uehara
Ecstasy Water Water Water & Black Man Fuck – starring Yuka Osawa
Nurubeccho Vicious Insult Lotion – starring Natsumi Yoshioka
Restructuring Project Personality Breakdown – starring Riko Tachibana
Drink Urine Depth Charge Gokkun Maid – starring Maho Sawai and Chihiro Hasegawa
The Virtue & Pride Were Destroyed – starring Azusa Ayano
Hyper Risky Mosaic – starring Maria Ozawa
Pls Humiliate until the Spirit is Overcome – starring Yua Aida
Restraint Masochist Excellent Sexual Organs – starring Mariko Shiraishi
Torture Club Indecent Mouth Destruction – starring You Kitajima

Sorry for no links, but they would be all 1000% NSFW and we try to at least pretend we are PG-13 here. Some of the sites even have bestiality videos, which is just nasty. I ran across these while looking up an actress from a non-porn movie who turned out to be a porn star. That’s what I get for looking up biographical information for my movie reviews!

Shaitani Dracula
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Shaitani Dracula (Review)

September 9, 2008By

Shaitani Dracula


2006
Directed, Written, and Produced by Harinam Singh

This is one of the most ridiculous films I have ever seen. Believe me, I have seen some doozies! I believe I have found the Ed Wood of India, or at least one Ed Wood, as there are probably half a dozen considering their massive film output. Harinam Singh is his name, he directed, wrote, produced, and stars in the film, a pedigree you usually see in fan films. Harinam Singh also directed Shaitaani Aatma and Jeb Katari, quality films. It is hard to find out information about him due to a healer with a similar name.

As for the rest of the cast, I can list their names, but I am unable to match them up to their characters. Many of them are credited with just a single name, which is sort of hard to Google. In addition, the B-films of Bollywood have little if any information in English, so it is already a stacked deck. I’ll list the cast members here, and maybe someone can help. The few stories I did find about Shaitani Dracula mentioned it took 15 days to film. Starring Shweta, Harinam Singh, Somiya, Jaya, Vivek, Kanhaiya, Shabnam, Pooja, Asha, Kamleesh Singh, Advocate Dube, and many others.

Advocate Dube?

The plot of Shaitani Dracula (translates to Devil’s Dracula) basically involves Dracula and some of his creepy goons harassing some campers in order for him to seduce some young ladies for dinner. That sounds like a straightforward plot, but that is the only thing straightforward. First, this film is a jumbled mess of edits, pointless scenes, and padding. A large portion of the film is just various characters wandering around the forest at night, usually alone, but occasionally being stalked by someone spooky. The film is edited by someone who somehow can operate despite being overdosed on caffeine, crack, Speed, heroin, LSD, irritable bowel syndrome, huffing paint, bipolar disorder, and ADD. There are more cuts in 15 minutes of Shaitani Dracula than in most major feature films. And yet, in those 15 minutes and thousands of cuts, nothing happens! In fact, the bulk of this review will be sorting out the various minions of Dracula. As you will read, the movie’s narrative is like a patchwork quilt of random. Don’t expect it to make sense, because it doesn’t. At all.

Shaitani Dracula‘s scenes were all done in one take. They didn’t bother with reshoots for either wardrobe malfunctions or even to put the actresses in focus. No one seems to be able to get the camera to focus on anything in wide shots, the few closeups are the only time we get a 100% clear picture. Shaitani Dracula is available on VCD, and it is evident that the VCD was sourced from a VHS tape, as there are a few rough patches late into the film. The VCD has no subtitles, but when has that ever stopped us? At TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinkin’ subtitles!

InBad, Movie Reviews

Chocolate (Review)

September 5, 2008By

Chocolate


2008
Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

Thailand has been making films for a long time. Sadly, their films have not gained much interest outside their home country until recently, which is a shame as some of their older efforts (like Insee Thong for example) are worth checking out. Tony Jaa has helped put modern Thai films on the map. His martial arts films and the stunt therein have given lots of fame to the industry. Many people are unaware of the man behind Tony Jaa, who is also the man behind this film. Director Prachya Pinkaew was Tony Jaa’s mentor, directing him in Ong Bak, and now has a new, female prodigy, the star of this film Yanin “Jeeja” Wismistananda. Director Prachya Pinkaew has been involved in making movies in Thailand for years, but until his recent fame with Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong, most of them haven’t left Thailand ever, now many can be found in VCD format. In addition, some of them can be found in this movie, being watched by Zen in between her own fights.

Setting out to make the film feel different from the start, Zen is autistic, so does not act like your normal fighting chick. But she has the ability to learn to copy movements, which makes her a natural fighter. The storyline of the film works to get Zen from one giant set-piece to another in order to have many well-choreographed battles. This works rather well, and towards the end you just sit back and watch as the stunts get wilder and the choreography gets more intricate. The fight choreographer was Panna Rittikrai, also of Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong fame. Prachya Pinkaew said he went in the autistic direction because Jeeja Wismistananda didn’t have any sex appeal (see Wise Kwai’s Blog.) She has no sex appeal like zebras have no stripes.

Chocolate is in a mix of English and Japanese, but is mainly Thai, so subtitles are on. As the film is not widely available in the US yet, there are bootlegs with terrible subs out there, so be warned. They are not necessary to enjoy the action, but help you follow a bit of the plot. Luckily, I had a real version, so the language barrier was no problem, not that no subtitles has ever been a problem here on TarsTarkas.NET.

Zen (Yanin “Jeeja” Vismistananda)- Autistic daughter, has muscle memory (once she sees it, she can do it, like that girl on Heroes) can catch almost anything, afraid of flies. Loves her mother very much. Jeeja did all the stunts herself, and was even kicked in the eye (requiring her to wear an eyepatch for a bit!)
Zin (Ammara “Zom” Siripong) – Zen’s Mother and lover of Masashi, former lover of No. 8. A famous actress and singer in her home country, Ammara Siripong was a torch carrier when the Olympic flame went through Thailand in 2008, and is an avid supporter of marine-life conservation.
Moom (Taphon Phopwandee) – Zen’s brother, a former street orphan adopted by Zin. Full name is Mangmoom. Does street performances with Zen in order to earn extra money for Zin’s illness. Finds the book filled with names that owe Zin money.
Masashi (Hiroshi Abe) – Zen’s gangster absentee father. Not absentee by choice. Forced out of Thailand by No. 8 after he took Zin as his lover, and forbidden to see her or his daughter under threat of death. Returns to Thailand when Zin and Zen get into trouble. Has a fascination with imperfection.
No. 8 (Pongpat Wachirabunjong) – Thai mob boss (is the Thai mob known by an special name like Yakuza or Triads?) and former lover of Zin. Number 8 lost his beloved to Masashi, so shot off his own toe to teach himself a lesson. That lesson was “Don’t shoot yourself in the foot!” Dresses pretty retro. Eight is a lucky number in Asian culture, just look at how many Chinese restaurants have 8 in their name (or 18 or 88).
Priscilla (Dechawut Chuntakaro) – Transvestite apprentice to No. 8. Brutal enforcer and jealous of Zin and No. 8’s affection for Zin. But still sympathetic enough to give some money to Moom and Zen when they are street performing. Dechawut “Day” Chuntakaro is a cabaret diva.
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