Upcoming Asylum Films

The company that gave us Transmorphers is still making films. Some are still Mockbusters, but some are mysteriously somewhat original. Hmmm…

SUNDAY SCHOOL MUSICAL – Two competing groups of high school students must rally together and enter a song and dance competition in order to save their church from closing
Merlin
MERLIN AND THE WAR OF THE DRAGONS – An army of dragons invade the crippled English countryside and the apprentice wizard Merlin must confront the fire-breathing beasts.
Earth Stopped
THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED – Hundreds of massive intergalactic robots appear in all of the major world capitals with an ultimatum: Prove the value of human civilization or be destroyed.

18 YEAR OLD VIRGIN – An 18 year old girl tries to lose her virginity on the last night of her high school graduation.
(Yeah, THAT will be hard, unless she weighs 300 pounds. Even still, she wouldn’t have that hard of a time…)

SUPERNOVA – As increased radiation and ever large solar storms wreak havoc on the Earth, scientists realize that our sun is dying and will soon end in an explosion that will destroy the galaxy.

DRAGONQUEST – When an ancient warlord summons a mythological beast, a young hero must complete a series of quests to awaken the dragon that can defeat the monster.

COUNTDOWN: ARMAGEDDON – After a series of catastrophic disasters, a destabilized society is pushed into a global war.

MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT SQUID – The California coast is terrorized by two enormous prehistoric sea creatures as they battle each other for supremacy of the ocean.

TRANSMORPHERS 2 – In this present day prequel, the robot invaders attack Earth, forcing a small band of humans to seek refuge below the surface of the planet.
YES! More Transmorphers!

Foywonder Story

MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT SQUID sounds promising, unless you have seen any Asylum film, thus you get a sinking feelin about what could have been. Maybe things will be better. I sure hope so!

Two Dragon-themed films, maybe the numbers on DRAGON was pretty good.

Cats and Dogs 2 – coming soon

The sequel no one wanted. Joining the dozens of other sequels no one wanted.

‘Cats & Dogs’ lands human leads
Chris O’Donnell, Jack McBrayer join CGI-blended film

Borys Kit and Jay A. Fernandez

Oct 1, 2008, 12:00 AM ET
Chris O’Donnell and Jack McBrayer are the live-action stars of Warner Bros. and Village Roadshow’s “Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore,” which is being directed by Brad Peyton.

Andrew Lazar is producing the CGI-blended movie via his Mad Chance banner along with former Warner Independent head Polly Cohen.

The movie continues the story of the battle between cats and dogs for control of Earth. Ron Friedman and Steve Bencich — who have made family movies and talking animals their bag with “Brother Bear,” “Chicken Little” and “Open Season” — wrote the script.

How did it take TWO reporters to write this tiny story?

Today's explaination for Junk DNA is…

Junk DNA seems to have every explanation on the planet for what it is for. And they are all wrong. Everyone knows Junk DNA is really spare parts carried in case DNA Vampires from the planet Neptune attack the Earth again. That way, you have spare DNA to keep yourself alive long enough to defeat them yet again. The explosive addition of microRNAs talked about in this article is just the result of one such DNA Vampire attack and the explosive growth in DNA diversity that follows after the vampires’ defeat.

‘Junk DNA’ Can Explain Origin And Complexity Of Vertebrates, Study Suggests

ScienceDaily (Feb. 12, 2008) Dartmouth College researchers and colleagues from the University of Bristol in the U.K. have traced the beginnings of complex life, i.e. vertebrates, to microRNA, sometimes referred to as ‘junk DNA.’ The researchers argue that the evolution of microRNAs, which regulate gene expression, are behind the origin of early vertebrates.

Vertebrates – animals such as humans that possess a backbone – are the most anatomically and genetically complex of all organisms, but explaining how they achieved this complexity has vexed scientists since the conception of evolutionary theory.

The team studied the genomics of primitive living fishes, such as sharks and lampreys, and their spineless relatives, like the sea squirt. By reconstructing the acquisition history of microRNAs shared between human and mice, the researchers determined that the highest rate of microRNA innovation in the vertebrate lineage occurred before the divergence between the living jawless fishes like the lamprey and the jawed fishes like the shark, but after the divergence of vertebrates from their invertebrate chordate relatives, such as the sea squirt.

Alysha Heimberg of Dartmouth College and her colleagues showed that microRNAs, a class of tiny molecules only recently discovered residing within what has usually been considered ‘junk DNA’, are hugely diverse in even the most lowly of vertebrates, but relatively few are found in the genomes of our invertebrate relatives.

She explained: “There was an explosive increase in the number of new microRNAs added to the genome of vertebrates and this is unparalleled in evolutionary history.”

….

Deadly Target

Deadly Target (Review)

Deadly Target

aka Hong tian mi ling

1994
Directed by Godfrey Ho

In Manila, two female Hong Kong cops visit one’s cousin, only to find out he is an evil weapons dealer that targets them for death. They team up with supercop Eddie and take down their cousin as well as a bunch of other goons in a prime example of mid-90’s Hong Kong action films. We get lots of shootouts, lots of jumping stunts, kung fu mixed in the middle of gun battles, and things exploding all over the place. These films are miles beyond the current CGI/PG-13 garbage being spewed out by Hollywood, but for a Hong Kong action film of the era, it doesn’t really stand out. However, it has chicks with guns blasting people all over the place, so it fits right into our pseudo-theme month. This is a low-budget movie filmed in the Philippines to save on costs, more info is with the cast.

Female action stars have a long and glorious career in Asian cinema. Go read a book about them or something. Okay, just kidding. There was a big “Girls with Guns” fad in the late 1980’s/early 1990’s which is the focus here, and this is one of many entries that were low-budget but filled with lots of stunts. Many of the films had several of about six to eight actresses who were in the bulk of them, and we have two here, Yukari Oshima and Sharon Yeung Pan Pan, who both have a long resume filled with similar films.

Lisa Li (Yukari Oshima) – A Hong Kong police woman who goes on vacation in the Philippines to visit her cousin Ben Hung, who turns out to be really evil! Her boss in the Hong Kong is named Tiger. Aren’t you glad I pointed that out? May also go by the name “Cynthia Lee,” as a sign in the movie says. Yukari Oshima was a big action star in the late 1980s/early 1990s Hong Kong, but by this point was working out of the Philippines because the Hong Kong studio didn’t know what to do with a half-Japanese female action star, especially one that was usually branded asexual because she wasn’t supermodel attractive. This is a shame, as Yukari is very skilled in the martial arts. See her here in Godfather’s Daughter and Tomb Raiders/Avenging Quartet
Anna Yeung (Sharon Yeung Pan Pan) – Partner of Lisa Li who accompanies her on vacation. Despite both of them being largely asexual, they certainly have a few lesbianic undertones thrown in during their workout sessions. No complaints. Sharon Yeung Pan Pan was a talented martial artist who starred in Hong Kong movies and television through the 80’s and 90’s, ending her run around the end of the girls with guns movie fad.
Cousin Ben Hung (John Cheung) – Cousin of Lisa Li who also happens to be an evil gun smuggler. Sort of how my cousin works for Coca-Cola. Except he’s not evil, nor smuggles guns. Ben Hung has a sister who isn’t named despite being a major character. Once Lisa Li and her friends get in the way, it is time to see that money is thicker than blood, and he tries to take her out.
Eddie (Edu Manzano) – The supercop of the Philippines, every gun runner and drug dealer knows his name. Edu Manzano is still acting today and appeared in such Filipino genre films as Captain Barbell and Darna: The Return.
Ben Hung’s Sister (Sarah Gomez) – Hi, I’m Ben Hung’s Sister. I’m evil, I’m a main villain, I sleep with men to convince them to buy guns from my brother, and I don’t have a name! What the Hell, movie?
Henry Wong (Phillip Ko) – Rumored he was married to Yukari Oshima at the time and may have been the actual director using Godfrey Ho’s name as a pseudonym! That would be a first (this is rumored for a few of these Phillip Ko/Yukari Oshima/Godfrey Ho Filipino action films) but may just be an artifact of Godfrey Ho’s constant use of fake names. Godfrey Ho, why do you continue to make researching these movies difficult?
Dik (????) – Undercover cop in Ben Hung’s gang. Gets his cover blown. Enjoys dressing in dresses. Sadly, he does not make it to the end of the film. I will always remember you, Dik. Maybe I’ll find out who played you.

Update on The Sims movie

Producer John Davis talks the new Sims Movie:

John Davis: And Tom Rothman, the Chairman of Fox said to me, “How are you going to take this incredible piece of IP and make it into a movie?” Right? Because most games aren’t movies, so this is the way I did it: The Sims, as you know, you can control your imaginary world, right? And our movie, a young man, a 16 year old kid of a 14 year old kid and his friend get their hands on this thing called the Sims Infinity Pack, right, which kind of this very strange video game store which was there just for that moment, and seemingly wasn’t all that. But what they realize is that they can scan their world in, because this is the most life like, real Sims game ever. And as they are playing this they are all of a sudden realizing is what they are playing on the game is having an effect on the real world. So in effect, through the game, they are able to control their world. It’s wish fulfillment, and obviously it turns against them.

Sigh…

At least we find out they won’t make any more terrible Aliens vs Predator movies.

Previous Article

Bollywood photos of fantastical movies

Took these scans out of a Bollywood movie guide in the library:

Bollyalien
A review of Wahan Ke Log can be found here, and expect one to show up on TarsTarkas.NET eventually as we got the VCD!

Bollywood Giant
Pataal Nagari (title may translate into Lord of Another World) which I can’t find any info on.

Snakey
Naag Devata (and actress Sashikala)
I think this clip is from that film, but titles it Naag Devta

Bollywood Spider
Parasmani (and actor Mahipal)
Another Youtube song clip. It is easier to find song clips than it is to find out anything else about these old films!

And now the greatest find from the book:
Madam Zorro
Madam Zorro starring Nadira! This film better still exist, because I’m gunning for you, film!