The terrible secret of why Disney dumped the Narnia franchise

In case you care, Disney has decided against making any more Narnia films, leaving its partner in the deal, Walden Media, on their own. The guess at the time was because Prince Caspian was not box office magic (I am guessing due to the fact the youngest daughter is the creepiest looking child actress ever! She wants to bore into your soul and devour it from the inside out!) but it turns out it was part of a giant studio catfight.

From the LA Times blog:

But what really derailed Disney’s involvement with “Narnia” was a nasty feud between the studio and Phil Anschutz, the real estate baron and supporter of Christian conservative causes who seems to own half of America. Anschutz has a stake in or outright ownership of Regal Entertainment Group (the nation’s biggest movie theater chain), Staples Center, the Kodak Theatre, the Los Angeles Galaxy, the L.A. Kings, London’s Millennium Dome, a string of U.S. newspapers (including the San Francisco Examiner) and Walden Media, which has produced such films as “Journey to the Center of the Earth,” “Nim’s Island” and “Because of Winn-Dixie.” So when Anschutz gets into an ugly dispute with Disney, we’re talking about a true battle of the titans.

It looks like Walden Media got greedy after the first film and demanded more money, which ticked off Disney and gave them an excuse to dump the film after the second underpreformed. Now Walden Media is shopping around the next film of the franchise. I am still convinced the youngest girl has something to do with it.

She has spotted another soul to destroy, Look out!!!

She has spotted another soul to destroy, Look out!!!

My cannibal stars prepare to devour entire galaxies!

There is nothing more beautiful than the wonders found in outer space. Well, maybe seeing cities fall beneath your monstrous creations, but that is another story entirely. And now, space can finally get what is coming to it by my brand new stellar cannibals! These mean, hungry stars are colored blue, because they are powered with the souls of Smurfs! Roaming the universe, preparing to eat all that comes before them. Consume galaxies they will. Why do I, Dr. Mobusu, do this? Because I can! Dr. Mobusu does what he wants, when he wants, and the universe will learn not to stand in his way. MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oddball ‘Blue Stragglers’ Are Stellar Cannibals
Astronomers have found what they say is the strongest evidence yet that a mysterious class of stars known as “blue stragglers” are the result of stellar cannibalism.

Blue stragglers are found throughout the universe in globular clusters — which typically are collections of about 100,000 stars, tightly bound by gravity. Because all the stars in these clusters are thought to have been born at the same time, they should all be the same age, but blue stragglers appear to be younger than their cluster peers.

The origin of these strange, massive stars has been a longstanding mystery, said study leader Christian Knigge of Southampton University in England.

“The only thing that was clear is that at least two stars must be involved in the creation of every single blue straggler, because isolated stars this massive simply should not exist in these clusters,” Knigge added.

Movies you will Never See – Tokyo 1960

So did you know there is a Filipino giant monster film that may or may not star Godzilla? Tokyo 1960 may or may not be clips from the 1954 Gojira spliced into new footage of Filipino actors. Why all the “may or may not”s? Because the film is lost forever, and we known nothing about it but a few posters. All we know was it came out in 1957. Is this the Filipino version of Raymond Burr or Cozzilla? The director is Teodorico C. Santos and it stars Tessie Quintana, Eddie Del Mar, and Zaldy Zshornack. Of course, Cirio H. Santiago produced it.
Tokyo 1960
Tokyo 1960
Susie Arabia is awesome
Poster found here with other cool films

Keanu Reeves to star in live action Cowboy Bebop

I heard he had been pushing for this for a while. I doubt I will see this because I just don’t care about anime. But maybe it will be a trainwreck or a masterpiece. Probably a trainwreck. Toxic spill-style.

Keanu Saddles Up for Cowboy Bebop

Keanu Reeves is going intergalactic again.

He of the comforting monotone has hitched his wagon to 20th Century Fox’s big-screen adaptation of the acclaimed Japanese anime series Cowboy Bebop, which is set in 2071, 50 years after a massive lunar explosion decimated Earth’s population and necessitated the colonization of the entire solar system.


Per the Hollywood Reporter, Reeves is attached to play Spike Siegel, a reformed criminal turned space cowboy and copilot of the Bebop, who, like a character from the actor’s past, is well-versed in kung fu and other combat skills, but is toting around quite a few personal demons.

No word yet on who’s in line to play Spike’s copilot, Jet Black, a onetime Inter-Solar System cop with a mechanical arm, but so far we’re liking the whole Firefly-Battlestar Galactica-Bill & Ted vibe.

New Review – Island Warriors

The new review of Island Warriors is up. A pretty entertaining flick despite the washed out, dubbed, full-screen VHS print being the only way to see it. Women beat up men and sometimes each other, with much of the cast being Taiwan actors and actresses you will recognize from other films made in the same period. Some of which are future reviews here! Complete with clip, read it today!

Island Warriors

Island Warriors (Review)

Island Warriors

aka Yang yang jun

1981
Directed by Ulysses Au Yeung-Jun

An ancient kingdom of women fight for survival in the brutal sea, facing a rival male tribe as well as marauding pirates. Along the way they learn to love men and not be Amazons, but until then we have plenty of scenes of women fighting guys, which is the kind of thing I enjoy on my TV screen. There are things I don’t enjoy, namely castration, but as the film seems to think you have no ill effects besides turning gay it is less difficult to watch than films with blood spewing everywhere. Island Warriors is a Taiwanese production, most noticeable with the cast names in the beginning, and a few Taiwanese actors who pop up.

Most of the names are just guesses, thanks to the ambiguous credits and terrible sound quality from the VHS tape (Restored DVD for Island Warriors? Why bother when Into the Blue 2 and Bratz Babyz are taking their place on the shelves! EDIT – I guess now there is one!) The worst part of explaining movies like this with 18 or so main characters is setting up who is who. No matter how organized the beginning section is, half of the time I get confused and I’m the one who writes the review! The confusion is doubled when the credits fail to say who the actors play, and character names become guesses or nicknames given due to them never being named on camera. Oddly enough, it is also one of the best parts of explaining these films, as even if I am completely wrong it is the movie’s fault and not mine. Taiwanese films around this time are one of the worst offenders on having dozens of semi-famous people popping up in the film that I feel obligated to recognize, and mixed up with several different ways of translating Chinese names so you will see a familiar actor running around with a completely different name. So the Roll Call will be long, confusing, but the best we can get with what information we have. If you see something that looks like an error, or know more information, feel free to shoot me an email or drop by the message board. I had help through *Kung Fu Films* and the HKMDB

Queen Nadenwa (Elsa Yeung Wai San) – Queen of the island, and keeper of the tradition that men need to be purged. With the island under constant attack by pirates, no wonder. Queen Nandenwa rules with an iron fist, but isn’t unreasonable. Knows the island needs better defenses against the pirates. Elsa Yeung Wai San was in a bunch of kick-butt movies from Taiwan, including Fight for Survival, The Challenge of the Lady Ninja, Pink Force Commando and the semi-sequel Golden Queen’s Commando, Deadly Silver Angels, The Deadly Angels, and Golden Ninja Warrior. I mention those because I have copies of them and they will be showing up here, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Princess Jung Chi (Fong Fong-Fong) – The Queen’s Sister and easily swayed by handsome men from Men Island. She spends most of the film trying to hide Lu Tin Yi so he doesn’t get Bobbittized. Fong Fong-Fong was in Monkey War, but I don’t remember which part she played.
Princess Pan Hueng Chi(???) – Practices Virgin Kung Fu, a school not too common today. Is over 100 years old, then she dies due to loss of virginity. And you thought your first time was bad! She trains the troops on the island and generally beats up a lot of pirates.
Chen Chi (Ng Haau Ling) – Part of a lesbian couple with Su Chi. Chen Chi turned in the male lover of another girl named Yen Chi, causing him to be castrated and die. The two would later fight over it. Chen Chi is aggressively anti-male. She is probably cutting off someone’s wang right now. Her character name might instead be Ching Gei. Unbelievably, Ng Haau Ling may have made only one other film.
Fanny (Teresa Tsui Jun Jun) – Whip Girl who is among the most anti-male members of the island. Teresa Tsui Jun Jun was also in Pink Force Commando and the semi-sequel Golden Queen’s Commando
Su Chi (???) – Lesbian lover of Chen Chi, in the bath as Ping tries to seduce her. I have no idea who played her, it may be Yue Fung.
Unknown Prim girl (Mary Wong Ma Lee) – This unknown prim girl was present with most of the royal cast but never did or said much. She doesn’t even get a name said for me to misinterpret. Mary Wong Ma Lee shows up in Fantasy Mission Force as the leader of the Amazon Women.
Unknown Other girl (Hsia Kwan Li) – Another girl who never got a name, this one is a good fighter, but didn’t seem included in the big group of royal people. But with so many deaths by the end, maybe she got a promotion. Hsia Kwan Li was in Zu: The Warriors from the Magic Mountain
General (An actual tiger) – A Tiger who is Queen Nadenwa’s bodyguard. He thinks islands of women are Gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-reat!
Ping Da Hi (Hui Bat Liu) – The guy who supplied a treasure map to a lost treasure on Women Island, then convinced two of his friends to go with him. They are all captured, and Ping Da Hi has to lie through his teeth to keep everyone alive. It doesn’t keep his crotch alive, as he is castrated for being too much like a horny guy. Hui Bat Liu is best known in the US for playing Stone in Fantasy Mission Force, he is also in Pink Force Commando and Golden Queen’s Commando.
Ha Li (Pa Gwoh) – called Dr. Ha by Ping Da Hi in an effort to save everyone’s lives. Thus the women think he is a real doctor, and he has several “humorous” scenes doing doctor things and bumbling into the right answer. Pa Gwoh is also in Wolf Devil Woman.
Chan Ping (???) – Is a Cannon Maker, but only in told-to-the-women-so-they-wouldn’t-die form. So not a cannon maker, but has to make cannons. Is almost killed when a cannon explodes, but is saved by sex. I got no clue who played him.
Pirate Leader (???) – Leader of the pirates who raid the island for fun and profit, then sell bootleg DVDs of them raiding the island under the name Spiderman 4.
Big Pirate (Cheng Fu Hung) – A rather large pirate who is captured by the women, then leads a breakout in search of treasure. Cheng Fu Hung also shows up in Fight for Survival, The Zodiac Fighters, and Fantasy Mission Force.
Wan Tin Yu (Yun Zhong Yue) – Men Island Chief and a wise leader. Doesn’t want animosity with the women. Helps them against the pirates.
Lu Tin Yi (Don Wong Tao) – Friend of Lao who falls in love with Princess Jung Chi after he goes to Women Island to complain of their constant castration, putting himself next in the queue for castration. Princess Jung Chi saves him.