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Radical Jack RiffTrax
InRiffTrax

Radical Jack – New RiffTrax VOD!

April 28, 2015By

There are times when movies were born to be riffed, and a Billy Ray Cyrus version of Road House IS such a movie! Radical Jack is it’s name, and it is decidedly NOT radical, unless you mean radical like in math where you try to find the square root of a variable and it’s totally weird and you can’t help your kid with homework any more and then your kids stop listening to you and take up smoking and going to rainbow parties. All because you suck at math. Is that radical? Well, it happened to Billy Ray Cyrus, and soon it will happen to YOU! Unless you fight back, by getting the riffed version of Radical Jack at RiffTrax.com! Be the one who becomes the radical radical! Then you will truly be badical.

“We should rip off Road House and Billy Ray Cyrus should play Dalton!”

There are two types of people in this world: those who read the above sentence and immediately lapsed into fits of hysterical, table-pounding, pants-wetting laughter. And then the other .00001% of people, who thought “Sounds good to me! Is Michelle Pfeiffer’s sister available to play the love interest?”

We have that .00001% to thank for Radical Jack. Eight long years after “Achy Breaky Heart” came out, and approximately 7 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 34 seconds after the first jukebox playing “Achy Breaky Heart” was smashed with a pool cue, American cinemas got the movie they needed. Except, minor detail, it was actually released direct to video in Russia.

Which makes a lot of sense once you see Radical Jack. Fans of Road House will recognize the key points: a loner with a mysterious past comes to town and finds employment at a local dive bar. A local arms dealer has grown rich running the town, despite the fact that its population appears to hover around 35 people. Occasionally Billy Ray takes breaks from doing construction to pour water all over himself in slow motion while seductive music plays1. The only thing missing is the Monster Truck. Once you see the budget on this thing, you’ll understand why they had to leave it out.

And Radical Jack doesn’t just rip off one of our all time favorite RiffTrax titles! Shot in Rutland, VT, it features the very time machine from Time Chasers itself!! (AKA, a crappy, weathered small airplane.) Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Radical Jack. Just don’t tell their lips, their fingertips, or various other body parts.

1 This never actually happened in the version of Road House that was shown in theaters, but it does in the one that airs on a loop in our hearts.

Radical Jack RiffTrax

Cookie Monster Sesame Street Avengers Parody Aveggies
InMisc News

Cookie Monster is The Hulk in The Aveggies!

April 28, 2015By


The Avengers– excuse me, the Aveggies are vegetable maniacs as they battle the dastardly Bon Bon, who attempts to ruin the world’s supply of healthy food because he’s in deep with Big Sugar or something.

A super villain was prepared to destroy all the healthy foods in the world, until one hero, actually, several heroes stuck together to save the world’s vegetables! Together, Dr. Brownie, Onion Man, Captain Americauliflower, Black Bean Widow, Mighty Corn, and Zuchin-eye are…The Aveggies!

All your favorite Avengers from the first film are represented! Can Dr. Brownie – aka Cookie Monster – focus on the problem at hand long enough to turn into a giant green monster and eat the spaceship cookie sent by the nefarious Bon Bon? As the gif shows, yes, but it doesn’t come without some hard work trying to focus. And also some hilarious slams on Hawkeye. Captain Americauliflower gets his shield chomped, and Mighty Corn has his hammer devoured. It’s a sad day for miraculous weapons but a great day for people who like watching food-based weapons get eaten. And don’t worry, they throw in a shawarma joke.

It’s important that kids learn to focus on things in this ADHD world of constant interruptions, and using the visually busy framework of a Hollywood blockbuster to deliver that message is some grade A subversion. But it’s all about Cookie Monster getting his chomp on!

“Me always hungry” — Dr. Brownie

Check out Sesame Street‘s Avengers: Age of Bon Bon below!

Til Death Do Us Part Lifetime
InMovie News

Til Death Do Us Part is more marriage mayhem on Lifetime!

April 24, 2015By
Til Death Do Us Part Lifetime

And he said I wasn’t “Duff enough for death”, whatever that means. Can you believe it?

Once again, a crazed man is on the loose and endangering a woman! It turns out the crazy guy is her husband, in a twist that’s the plot of the entire film. Til Death Do Us Part features Haylie Duff marrying the perfect guy she barely knows (because he’s a doctor with a generic name), and he goes bonkers and bodies start piling up and his sister renovates the house without being asked. Basically, this is why you don’t get married to someone after only six months. Wait seven months like a normal person! Otherwise, your deck’s just going to get randomly renovated!

Also you’ll die.

Sandra moves to a small town with her new husband Dr Kevin Richardson – a man she only met six months ago. Kevin is everything she’s ever dreamed of and from the outside they look like the perfect couple. However, Kevin begins to exert increasing control over Sandra while his sister Jolene starts renovating their back yard deck. Sandra’s concerns heighten when one of her co-workers dies of a brain hemorrhage at Kevin’s hospital. As Sandra begins to investigate her ideal husband’s past, the man she loves puts her life in danger.

Til Death Do Us Part stars Haylie Duff (Napoleon Dynamite), Magda Apanowicz (The 12 Disasters of Christmas), Ty Olsson (Godzilla), and Rekha Sharma (Battlestar Galactica). It’s directed by Farhad Mann (Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace) and written by Gayl Decoursey (Out of Reach)

Til Death Do Us Part premieres Saturday, April 25th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Lake Placid vs Anaconda
InMovie News

Lake Placid vs Anaconda – Franchises Battle For Your Love on SyFy!

April 24, 2015By

Lake Placid vs Anaconda

Where are the buns? I was promised buns!!


SyFy is caught in a crossroads of trying to transform into a respectable source of original science fiction programming, while still having a backlog of creature feature films to unload. Even worse for them, many of these films are event films that normally would get a lot of fanfare. But true to form, SyFy isn’t promoting Lake Placid vs Anaconda much at all, and seems content for it to get swept under the rug.

The whole situation has been perplexing for the past two years. The monster movies still air a LOT on SyFy’s schedules, but they rarely add anything new. Lake Placid vs Anaconda is the first new film in months, and we won’t get more until July drops a whole week’s worth of new movies.

Lake Placid vs Anaconda is the fifth movie in both franchises, something that is surprising even as someone who follows SyFy flicks and knows about all the prior DTV sequels of both. It just seems so weird. And now they are fighting, which will hopefully make this the most awesome of all the non-J-Lo and non-Betty White entries of the franchises.

The co-CEO of a pharmaceutical company ruthless, Sarah Murdoch is determined to finish the work of her late father to find a serum capable of triggering cell regeneration; Unfortunately, in addition to an orchid, the other two elements necessary to perfect the serum is a particularly aggressive breed of giant crocodiles and anacondas, both of which Sarah is working hard to track down. However, its alteration with wildlife refuge releases both the crocodile’s and anaconda’s, that wind up threatening, among others, the daughters of a local college sorority, who went to the beach for a pledge event. With her twin brother and co-CEO Brian Murdoch actively trying to stop her, Sarah’s efforts lead to more horrible deaths, but several potential love between Brian and the new Sheriff, Reba, and many of sorority girls and their counterparts in the fraternity.

Hopefully the winner then takes on another random franchise. Or maybe we’ll get an Expendables-style team up of random franchises some day.

Lake Placid vs Anaconda is directed by A.B. Stone (his first feature) and written by Berkeley Anderson (Robocroc, Grendel, Dragon Dynasty). It stars Nigel Barber, Jeffrey Beach, Yancy Butler, Robert Englund, and most importantly —> Corin Nemec!!!!! I could watch Corin Nemec watch paint dry for two hours.

Lake Placid vs Anaconda airs Saturday, April 25th, on SyFy!

Intimidation ある脅迫
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Intimidation (Review)

April 20, 2015By

Intimidation

aka ある脅迫 aka Aru Kyohaku
Intimidation
1960
Story by Kyo Takigawa
Screenplay by Osamu Kawase
Directed by Koreyoshi Kurahara
Intimidation ある脅迫
An arrogant bank manager named Kyosuke Takita (Nobuo Kaneko – The Magic Serpent) is about to move on to the executive board, but gets enveloped in a blackmail scheme and must try to rob his own bank in a desperate attempt to come up with the funds. His sad sack childhood friend Matakichi Nakaike (Ko Nishimura), who Takita has used and degraded, becomes a scapegoat, and soon things devolve into a murderous mess. Intimidation serves up a slow-burning lesson of treating people well, but aside from the tense robbery sequence in the middle, there are few high points to recommend hunting Intimidation down immediately.

You can’t examine Intimidation without seeing the obvious class consciousness of the film. Takita is in the upper echelon of society, who married into money and is set for easy street. His friend Nakaike is stuck on the lower rung, his few opportunities were snatched away by Takita, or twisted around to make it seem Takita was solely responsible for them. Nakaike’s lack of confidence doesn’t help him, and much of his time is spent making excuses for his friend and doing things in the background like warming sake. The bank manager sees Nakaike as an unmotivated chump who they keep around only for Takita’s benefit, sort of ironic due to the manager’s later confession that he doesn’t understand all the loan paperwork that Takita has been handling for him.
Intimidation ある脅迫
Despite the class struggles, Takita’s downfall is he is an arrogant bastard. He’s so used to getting his way and shooting up the ladder of success that he doesn’t care at all whoever he steps on during his climb. Even people who are loyal friends that would have made great companions he treats with disdain, only using them for his own ends. His childhood friend Nakaike seems a complete tool, Takita talking down to him in front of the bank manager. Takita talks like Nakaike owes him everything, and he’s such a screw-up that he’d be on the streets if it wasn’t for Takita. Nakaike’s lack of confidence doomed him to forever be in Takita’s shadow. When Takita’s around, Nakaike fades away and Takita gets all the focus.
Intimidation ある脅迫

Underwolrd Beauty 暗黒街の美女
InBad, Movie Reviews

Underworld Beauty (Review)

April 13, 2015By

Underworld Beauty

aka 暗黒街の美女 aka Ankokugai no Bijo
Underwolrd Beauty 暗黒街の美女
1958
Written by Susumu Saji
Directed by Seijun Suzuki
Underwolrd Beauty 暗黒街の美女
One of Seijun Suzuki’s first films (and the first credited as his pseudonym Seijun Suzuki!), Underworld Beauty shows hints of the creative sparks that would soon gain Suzuki a cult following in Japan and the ire of his studio bosses. But it’s mostly a straightforward and entertaining noir, elevated by the cast, so don’t be too disappointed when it goes by the numbers. It seems you can’t talk about Suzuki without using the term “fever dream”, so I’ll just use it in this sentence complaining about the term in this film that has among the lowest amounts of fever dreamness.

A noir flick that gets enhanced by the black and white photography, Underworld Beauty features a jewel thief gang member named Miyamoto (Michitaro Mizushima) who has just gotten out of the joint. He retrieves a gun and stolen diamonds from a hiding spot in the sewer, and sets out finish the job. But prison has given him a change of perspective, and he wants to give the diamonds to the member of the gang who was injured during the job (and saved Miyamoto in the process), Mihara (Toru Abe). The third gang member, who is now a powerful boss named Chairman Oyane (Shinsuke Ashida), is not too happy with this sudden display of honor, but is smart enough to hide his disapproval.
Underwolrd Beauty 暗黒街の美女
Mihara is now working in a noodle stall and ostensibly taking care of his younger sister Akiko (Mari Shiraki), who is on a wild streak down a dark path. She earns money posing nude for the mannequin sculptures (done by her quasi-boyfriend Arita (Hiroshi Kondo)), and going out drinking is her hobby. The attempt to sell the diamonds to a fence ends when armed masked men burst in on the proceedings, and Mihara swallows the diamonds and leaps off the roof of a building, attracting attention. He stays alive long enough to explain to the police that he slipped, but then passes on. The criminals are concerned the diamonds will burn when he is cremated, and soon the various factions go all The Treasure of the Sierra Madre with diamond fever.
Underwolrd Beauty 暗黒街の美女

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